[Leslie]

I am seeing a lawyer on May 3rd, but just by chance I was wondering if any of you know anything about divorce laws and about being bipolar. Husband said he is going to try to hold this against me to give me no alimony if he decides to walk out. I live in Arizona

Leslie

[Mahali]

All I can say is that where I live it's no fault divorce. I think there are certain guidlines to alimony. Years married and so forth. I know it varies from state to state.

I don't think bi polar would be a reason for with holding alimony. I would think that would work against him if it has any impact at all.

This is just my opinion though.
Sorry about the problems you are going through.

Take care.

place

[Gemstone]

I agree I think it would work against him. When my parents divorced my mom was not in a good state mentally and the judge gave her the most alimony he could by law.

[wisewoman]

Hi Leslie, I agree with everything here. In Conn when my sister in law divirced my husband's brother who has bipolar, she did a lot of work to "buy him off" so she would not have alimony. This was due to the illness. I am wishing you well. Good luck.

[jmo531]

I believe that men try to intimidate their soon to be ex wives with empty threats. Holding your mental illness against you is horrible and I am sorry he is doing that to you. You can always do some research online about this. I know that laws vary from state to state. I am thinking of you and wishing you well.

[Leslie]

Thanks so much for responding. I do have doctors on my side, I have been pretty stable under my circumstances for about 3 years now. I have not gone into the hospital since then.

Lesie

[Eva1nder]

I don't know about Arizona law either, but I tend to believe what other's replies were above and also for the fact that your husband wants to intimidate you because he wants to intimidate you prior to going to court because he anticipates that it would work in your favor as well.

[Eva1nder]

Oh ps to that ...I got more years to my aligmony because of my health situation because of my doctors vouching for my situation.

[wi_fighter]

Leslie, don't let your husband bully you into believing what he wants you to believe. My ex did the same thing to me and I listened to him. Now I'm trying to undo the mess a few years later.

I'm finding out there are lots of free avenues of support. Start with calling your county domestic abuse hotline (him trying to use your health problems to blackmail you is abuse) and pretty soon you'll have all kinds of support coming your way. I know it can be hard taking that step and asking for help, but there are a lot of people here that will help you along the way.

Welcome to the forums, and I hope you find what you need here.

((((((((hugs))))))))

[Raynaadi]

Wow Leslie, I didn't know you were going through all this. I don't know about the laws, but sounds like everyone is right about him holding empty threats over your head. ((Leslie))

[Dolfin]

Les,

Check out www.findlaw.com There is TONS of info on that site, and it breaks it down by state. I found all of my ammo that I used against my ex-fiance when it came to ownership of my dog, Apollo (I won cuz he's with me full-time, and the ex can NEVER see him again due to the abuse my dog endured while in his care).

Maybe that will give your lawyer some starting points to work with while preparing your case.

And, as far as I've EVER heard...judges are more sympathetic to people who suffer from mental illnesses (ACK! Hate that term!) because ANY legal proceeding is stressful, let alone having to deal with a medical condition on top of it.

You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

{{{{{ LESLIE }}}}}

Much Love,
Jenn

[Leslie]

I think he is calling my condition an incurable mental illness so he can get out of paying alimony or for me to get any custody of my son. Looking forward to finding about this May 3th, I have search everywhere but can't find much about this issue in Arizona. Doflin the link you gave will not work , I even tried without the link. Thanks for trying to help.

Thanks for all the support I am getting here at this forum,
(((((((((((((((everyone)))))))))))))))))))))

Love,
Leslie

[wi_fighter]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I think he is calling my condition an incurable mental illness....

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Ugh, you've got a self-proclaimed doctor on your hands too? He'll probably represent himself without a lawyer, too, since he knows more than all of them put together, right?

If you can, talk to some legal advocates through abuse shelters before you have your appt. with the lawyer. It gets expensive if you start spending time discussing the emotional aspects of things. You're getting billed for basically a counseling session, and that's not their area of expertise. If you can get the freebie info first and set your mind at ease about what he can and can't use in his favor medically, you'll be better prepared to go into the legal meeting.

Good luck.

Oh, one other thing, your husband shouldn't be able to say or do anything that might sabotage your relationship with your son. If he does, it can be used against him in court. Wisconsin has a special statute for that.

[Leslie]

Dear Wi fighter,
I like your humor My husband will be getting the best lawyer he can find . He likes to show that he has alot money to fight these kind of things I am sure. Thanks for the info where to look. My psychologist calls what I am going through is extreme emotional abuse, and it has been going on for over 4 years now. A few weeks back I caught him in a bad situation, can't go into details but I wish someone had seen it, I don't have proof just my own eyes. The only way I can prove anything , would be to hire an investigator to prove an affair, drinking problem and porn addiction.

Thanks for caring ,
Leslie

[wi_fighter]

Hey, if I didn't have some humor about it, I'd be more of a wreck than I already am.

Sounds like you have a good support system already in place, but every little bit helps.

Do what you have to do to protect yourself. If that means hiring an investigator, please do it. I waived maintenance and child support because of my ex blackmailing me with my SA and mood swings, and it was the dumbest thing I ever did. Hopefully someone else can learn from my mistakes.

[Dolfin]

Leslie,

Give this one a try...

http://www.findlaw.com/

That's straight off Yahoo search for "findlaw". I am so sorry you are going thru all this mess right now, and hopefully you can get into the site to find some ammo of your own.

You're in my thoughts and prayers!!

Huge Hugz and Much Love,
Jenn

[bptoo]

Les,

There's no way that a judge is going to withhold alimony from you based on the fact that you have Bipolar. I'm afraid that your husband is just blowing smoke up your...well, you know.

I wouldn't worry about this at all.

Greg

[sherry13]

(((((((((((((Les)))))))))))))))))))))
First off id like to tell you...i miss you!!!!
i dont know about divorce laws..i am finding that out myself...but i do know that when it came to being afraid of losing custody..my doc and a lawyer told me that no judge would even listen to any of my illness..he would ask if i was under treatment ...my pdoc said that abusers use this as control....judges realize this...my doc said as long as i was seeking treatment and caring for myself..he could say anything he wanted...and having my doc on my side was enough to give me control not to buy into anymore control or abuse..he told me the judge would ask my doc if i was in treatment and ask of my progress.....and when the judge found i was doing what i needed to be heathly that would stop all the abuse that was being created ...using ur illness against you is just another form of abuse and a way to control you...i hope this makes sense...i tried to explain my situation the best i could....this has whats been told to me....hope it helps..

[Leslie]

((((((((((((((((sherry))))))))))))))))

((((((((((((((((((((bp))))))))))))))))))

Thanks so much for your replies. Everything you guys say is helping me a little more and alittle more. I am blessed to have this place to come to and express myself.

Love,
Leslie