Does anyone else feel like they never belong?

thebody
as both you and your fiance have custody of your sister, you are obviously very close to both of them and have a place in both their hearts, it seems wrong that your fiances family do not include you in family photos, after all you are linked through your sister and fiance to their family!
have you talked to your fiance about how you feel being left out? maybe they just didn't think!
you do totally belong however to the family group of you,your fiance and your sister, maybe you could try building happy memories within that group! and i am sure your sister would not be where she is without you, you are her saviour, not many people who have been through what you have would even consider taking on coustody of a child i take my hat off to you
you say you have a fiance, if you feel like you are happy with him, love him and could spend the rest of your life with him then why not suggest sealing the relationship, then you will have a visible place of belonging, in your own family and as a daughter in law, possibly as a sister in law, aunt etc too. you have to try to trust that there are people who do care about you and people who need you in their lives, these are the places where you belong, i know from experience it is really hard to feel that you belong, but give it a chance and with time it will come.
You are also one of our PC family, you belong here, we all care about you and there would be a hole here without you ((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I know the feeling well.

It maybe has to do with some childhood trauma that affected me very very badly. I'd cry all the time and never went anywhere or did anything.

When i went on to further education was when I was really depressed, one or two things related to the childhood trauma happened again and I became more depressed than ever, I failed miserably at school which only made it worse.

When I hit 19 i'd go out with the few friends I did have and get drunk out of my mind, I didn't realise it then but the only times i would be with my friends was when I was drunk, I never did anything with them sober.

I've never felt comfortable around people. Going to the pub with friends Id just get an intense feeling that I wanted to go home, I didn't belong there with them and if I left it would make absolutely no difference to them what so ever.

I find that whenever I go anywhere with people, I end up at some point on my own and look at them and think what I said above.

I found it very difficult to look people in the eyes when I was younger, Im much better now but still not great.

Also i feel as though (this is difficult to explain) i am seeing everything from the wrong perspective, as if I shouldn't see through my eyes. the trouble is I don't actually know what perspective is the right one, I don't know whether being able to see myself as in a video game is correct or not, I just feel that seeing from my eyes, almost seeing my nose but not quite, is somehow wrong.

I also used to have an eating disorder because I felt I was fat ( I wasn't, I'd give anything to look the way I did then ! ).
Not only did I think i was fat, but I could FEEL the fat in my skin. Its difficult to explain but I feel like I have extra nerve endings that normal people don't have.

I can imagine normal people walk around and only feel fat if they catch a look in the mirror, whereas I feel it all the time, the easiest way to explain it is that I don't feel comfortable in my own skin.

I was tired all the time, I still am tired but I exercise regularly so am getting better. I'm also on AD's which have helped immensely, if not given me some slight reactions.

I am a lot better around people now, the funny thing about AD's is that not only do they make you feel better, I actually came to realise some very important things while on them:

* every one is different,
* your past is your past; work to get over it and don' let it dictate your future
* most things that upset you about your past etc will only do so IF YOU LET THEM.

I had such strong feelings of not belonging that I actually tried ending it, luckily i didn't succeed.

If you do you'll be doing yourself and people that care about you the biggest injustice you ever could.

I get the feeling I don't belong (sometimes even here in PC, though I know that not to be true).
Sometimes when I debate with my mind on 'being' or 'belonging' I see many sides to the problem. I am always looking at my own persona to see if it will fit in to the social surroundings. I feel like I am trying to force a square block of wood in to a round hole.

Its OK though. Sometimes my social skills work for me. Like a defence mech. I can feel if people will be bad for me sometimes. So my 'traits' are kinda protecting me.
The worse moments of feeling like I dont belong is when I need to belong. Like when being in school/college or around family. Now I am older I distance myself from places that will make me feel uneasy.

I think to recognise the fitting in with others problem, is a really good step on the path to finding 'strength', 'courage', 'self confidence'. These are all attainable, all humans have inner powers and strength's that sometimes just need a nudge to bring out.

Its not uncommon to feel out of step or not in line with rest of the human race, but to tell the truth; I like myself as I am.
Maybe I ask too much. To ask the world to fit in with me, rather than the other way round. Maybe not. All I know is fitting in and belonging goes both ways (to be accepted is the key that triggers my confidence). The rest just follows.

I feel like this all the time too........................

I often feel like that. I challenge too many concepts and I kinda don't belong to any "group"...

I did not realize the idea was to belong.

TheByzantine you have a point. My dad use to tell me i'm not here for everyone to like, i'm here cuz it's life. But yet the strive to belong, it still haunts me some days. Other day's not belonging is whatever i'm happy right with me. What ppl do to belong can lose themselves in the end- which i don't want. It sucks, i have felt as if i don't belong, i'm truely utterly alone even thou i have a boyfriend. Idk. But yes not belonging on earth, with others, in this era, in my age group, in my job, not part of this time or this universe. Yes. But it's ok- i'm here deal with what i'm delt and strive to be happy and help cuz it gives me a feel good feeling. And love my animals wish you all well. It is sad that so many feel this but hopefully some where that feeling is filled with joy from some where

All I have known is being alone ... just a whacked-out ultracrepidarian.

Biz, just know that here on pc you are VERY much appreciated!!!

When I was young I got a bad haircut and I was crying. My dad was like "no one will look at you anyways!" So I already felt like an outcast and he confirmed it. I'm going to a Marine reunion with my husband next month, and I'm so not looking forward to it.

I don't feel like this on a constant basis, but there seem to be subtle triggers that cause a very intense feeling of not fitting in, not belonging, being out of place, yes. I'm still trying to figure it all out.

I am an outsider. Have been one all of my life. I just don't fit in. My looks, my attire, either I try too hard or not enough. We are all encouraged to be individuals but society really wants us to conform.

I feel that way everyday! I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who feels thus way. I hope things will get better for you

I have felt like I belonged only a few times in my life but they were short term and only served to strengthen my beliefs that I deserved to be alone forever. Even as a child I did most things alone and found peace in solitary activities. There were (and still are) times though when I desperately craved physical contact with a female and not for sex. I am married right now but my wife is the type of person who is satisfied with just hugs every day.

I have been ostracized by so many people that it just seems like another day now when it happens. I know I am weird but I am also kind, gentle, caring and giving, yet the only time anybody notices these things is when they need to take advantage of me for some reason. Sometimes I weep, not because I am alone but because it so saddens me that the world is the way it is.

I think my life has continued this way for so long that there is no point in believing things will ever be any different. I am 53, tired, broken and wish I could just get sick and die. I have given up on the world except for the few strands that hang onto these forums. But no matter how deep I sink I always hope I have said or done something each day that will help another get through their day or maybe even improve their life.

Life has been a very confusing ordeal for me. I hope you do better.

I feel like this all the time and it sucks. I've dealt with a lot before and Im really looking for help. Any ideas? Thanks.

YES! I am new here and was thinking I would just kind of lurk a bit but your post hit me right on the head. YES! I feel this way so often! Like some of you have said and I agree, I think different than most people. I encourage you to read my profile. This feeling like I don't belong is a big thing I worry about. Thankfully I found someone that is just like me. We've been married for 33 years. The difference is, he is comfortable in his skin. I have not accepted ME. I often feel guilt and worry that I need to change or be better. Thank you for having the courage to express yourself. You are NOT alone!

Nope i don't belong even the vaguest sense of the word; i was bullied at school, tormented through college and even dropped out of university. All of which can't be contributed to my sheer oddness but it no doubt played a major part.

I'm ok with being unconventional. Fortunately i don't want what most consider to part and parcel of regular life. Marriage, children, the 9-5 grind; none of it interests me in the slightest. I would perhaps like a couple more friends but most of the friendships i have fizzle out after short bursts of great intensity. I often wonder if i'd be better off without them. The loneliness can be difficult but i think this is made worse really by the lack of solid routine. The devil makes work for idle hands as the saying goes. But i'll find my niche - we all do eventually.

I'm comforted by the fact that there are a lot of people like me - it's a shame we don't receive greater acceptance within society but when you live mostly on the peripheries that's what happens. I realize i can't have it both ways. I like my space, the solitude, the lack of pressure - it's only when we're surrounded by others and a way of life that's so different that those things start to become compromised.

It's not a perfect life, nor a particularly happy one. But far better to know what you don't want then be all to aware of what you'd like and your failure to get it.

Lots of us have social anxiety disorder...that is a good description of how we feel...

I also feel like I don't belong. Mostly because of how I think. I feel it is very uncommon and it is so rare to find someone who thinks like me. It makes me feel alone and it makes me wonder if I will meet a partner who is like the puzzle piece that matches mine because I haven't met anyone who I feel comfortable with and let go of everything I'm holding back (like my feelings).

I have felt this way many times and because of the MI, I never expect them to understand anything that is going on in my mind. I prefer the company of animals or being alone reading or listening to music. I sometimes cannot cope with the mental gymnastics "normal" people play on each other.

I feel that way quite a lot, sometimes even with people I am close with...and I always get way to worried about being rejected over any mistake I might make, way to hard on myself probably.

All of my life.

I do feel like this a lot, unless I'm talking to someone very close to me.

Every second of every day. I grew up as an expatriate in the Middle East, so moving to the States was a huge culture shock. I still don't get Americans sometimes. And slang cracks me up! I take it too literally, and it's a hoot (why would you want to see Jack **** in the first place???). I haven't found anyone else in NM who also grew up in a small American compound overseas, so I feel like no one gets me.

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I feel like a don't belong alot in between bouts of hope.