[Irine]

What Would You Do:
If someone broke your had and told you "draw"!
If someone broke your legs and told you "dance!!"
If some hinted,,between the lines..that you are a squirt, yet demanded you to accomplish things?!

What would you do?

Yes!! Ideas please!

How would you feel? How much would you succeed? How much would you TRUST the one who does it to you?!
How much hope would you have....

How would you cooperate with this person?

[pegasus]

Well, that would be abuse and I am sorry if someone is treating you like this. Is it possible for you to break ties with this person?

[Irine]

I was using a metaphor. mostly. The only thing that was real is
"If some hinted,,between the lines..that you are a squirt, yet demanded you to accomplish things?!"

This is all my subjective feeling but yeah i feel as if i was being abused. Just plain teachers with their criticism and me ****ing taking it this way and them talking sometimes sort of rude etc. well they hardly EVER encouraged me and saw a real human in me.

Maybe my design REALLY sucked maybe not, but they 70% of the time thought so and said things like "I would throw you out of the class for this, even if you were first year."And all the class has to hear it.

I don`t know i hate them all. College teachers can be condescending and disgusting. I assume there can be nice too.

And i was left with this feeling like "i`m a zero" and i have been treating it with a bunch of spirituality and self help literature...etc.

So i went back to my councilor. Months and i am still afraid to work. I sort of disconnect myself. I guess this anger is a part of me waking up and seeing that if it is THEIR thoughts or words or whatever about me and they do not have to be true.

But i did some progress....i just felt that they did it to me you know - so i wrote a song about that and in one of them I used that metaphore.
I`m just having

[nowheretorun]

it is THEIR thoughts or words or whatever about me and they do not have to be true.

i think you just found the path to your own truth (((LadyM)))))

[KathyM]

If someone broke my hand and told me to "draw" - I'd smile sweetly and draw with my other hand.

If someone broke my legs and told me to "dance" - I'd smile sweetly and shimmy my shoulders.

If someone hinted, between the lines, that I am a squirt, yet demanded I accomplish things - I'd work even harder and accomplish more than their pea-brains ever dreamed.

Hang in there, Lady.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by ladymacabethadmunsen

What Would You Do:
If someone broke your had and told you "draw"!
If someone broke your legs and told you "dance!!"
If some hinted,,between the lines..that you are a squirt, yet demanded you to accomplish things?!

What would you do?

Yes!! Ideas please!

How would you feel? How much would you succeed? How much would you TRUST the one who does it to you?!
How much hope would you have....

How would you cooperate with this person?

I would draw using my mouth like others that dont have the use of their hands due to birth defects, amputations, I would dance with my upper torso like parapalegics and others in wheel chairs do, because they dont have the use of their legs and I would prove to them just because someone is small in stature doesnt mean they cant do big things.

I once met a person that had no arms, nor legs and was w midget. they taught me to look beyond what I THINIK my limits are and challenge myself to base my abilities on going for my dreams not by giving up just because there are challenges and walls in my way.

How do i get along with people who put me down. I tell them to kiss their own you know what, and if they want to be in my life they have to follow the boundries that I set for my all relationships and that is that all people regardless of handicaps, race, religion, stature are equal this is america we have our consitution and laws that prohibit discrimination. based on that no one has the right to put people down just because they dont live up to someone elses idea of what they should be.

After I set my boundries, I follow through with them and I go on with life the way I want my life to be, and that negative person either moves on their way because they know they can no longer attack me, put me down and such or they honor my boundris and we go on by developing a more positive relationship.

[theotterone]

Criticism, either personal or professional, constuctive or not is hard to take. I had to learn it fast when I filled in as a receptionist for the company my dad worked at. I was young (18, 19?) and if I took everything he said to me at work personally, we would have fought all the way home.

Some people are really good at offering that contructive stuff. My boss happens to be one of them. He can advise me how to "tone down" parts of my personality when dealing with certian people or how to do something differently with out making me feel like a freak. But at 34 and many jobs and supervisors, he is the first.

Hang in there! Know your own worth! YOU know what you do well, and be proud of it!

[FooZe]

What Would You Do:
If someone broke your hand and told you "draw"!
If someone broke your legs and told you "dance!!"

I'd start by checking whether my hand or legs were really broken.

If some hinted,,between the lines..that you are a squirt, yet demanded you to accomplish things?!

Whatever I accomplished or attempted, I'd make sure to accomplish/attempt it where they weren't, perhaps not even in their area of expertise.

How would you feel?

Confused, no doubt. I'd want to find out somehow what was going on; what they were trying (not very successfully) to tell me; what, if anything, they expected me to do about it; and (I think this is pretty important) how others had dealt with the same situation.

When I run into concepts that I don't understand or don't agree with, I'm usually free to investigate further, to argue back, or to ignore them and walk away. When I was in school and my grade depended on "mastering" some concept that I didn't find true or useful, I often did those same things. My grades weren't very good but I survived.

How much would you succeed?

At what? I wouldn't want to succeed at emulating whomever I perceived as doing those things to me but I might count it as a success of sorts that I didn't emulate them. I also succeeded in getting out of academics.

How much would you TRUST the one who does it to you?!

I wouldn't; but that would raise the thorny question: do I distrust them, reasonably enough, because that is in fact what they're doing to me? Or do I perceive everything they do as mistreatment because I don't trust them in the first place? I still haven't entirely sorted out my own history with school (and may never) but for me some of each seems to have been the case.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

["said things like "I would throw you out of the class for this, even if you were first year."And all the class has to hear it.

College teachers can be condescending and disgusting."]

They can also be sued Lady. Kids in Australia have sued their school teachers for humilliating them in front of the school or class; and they've won considerable amounts of money for their ensuing mental illness. One in particular was bullied by other kids because the teacher picked on him so badly.

He became so humilliated he felt he could never work and became a prisoner in his home. He is now in his 30's and still has never worked. He has retreated so badly he had to be sedated to attend court.

Write a formal letter to the HR dept outlining the treatment you received and the manner in which you were belittled and humiliated.in front of the class. Let them know that you are not there to be humilliated you are there to learn. And if they are not capable of teaching without abuse, they should rethink their position.

Some teachers (though they love the word lecturure) need to realise that they are not better than others, they do NOT have the right to abuse mentally, emotionally or in any other way. Don't let it pass because you will forever hang on to the humilliation. All you need to do is stand up for yourself and let them know that they don't have the right to treat you that way. And if they think that they will have to compensate you out of their own pocket, that will shut them up.

And you need to tell them that if you are failed in any grade, you will consider that a run off from this bullying you have had to put up with, and you will take the matter further.

I loathe injustice Lady, so if you need help writing a letter I'm here to help,

Rhiannon

[Irine]

woah sue them? lol!
Well its not THAT far and not that obvious....but it has done a lot of mental harm to me. I can function but many times found it hard. I still am aware of what fool zero pointed out. I accept responsibility for the way i see things.........

I am in the process of realizing all that ...you know. Like the truth is that i am not a squirt and not lazy or not talented not interesting and not creative.

So thanks a lot for all responses, especially those who identified with my anger at them! I need to get them and their words OUT of me!!!

[eskielover]

I have had several similar experiences:

I was a music major....playing my flute with the thought that I would love to be a flute player in a symphony orchestra.....but definitely NOT a music teacher with kids as I was definitely NOT a kid person.......I was good at my flute.....I practiced 8 hour a day & I just wasn't getting good enough to ever be the quality that could ever qualify for a symphony. I had a private flute teacher who actually was a flute player in the Los Angeles Symphony Orchestra....everytime she would teach, I would go away in tears....thought wow, I just can't get it....I kept practicing......I found another flute teacher who was awesome.....she had actually taken lessons from one of the top professional flute players John Pierre Rampal......I continued to practice & still, I could only get to a certain level & just could't get past that no matter who I took lessons from or how much I practiced......I realized that I just didn't have the talent to ever be at the performing professional lever I had wanted to be....other option was teaching & that I just couldn't do, so I had to find another direction for my career.....I changed in my junior year to accounting & computer science.....something that I could use my mind & didn't require a specific talent.

The important point is that I was the one that ultimately was able to objectively look at my ability to do what I really wanted to do. I could to the other things & pass the school work & the piano proficiency & other things in the music major requirements...I have since used them in my hobies & my own personal enjoyment.

If I knew I was good & could have realistically compaired myself with the others & seen that I was just as good as they were, I know I would have continued & worked even harder to prove it.....but when there was no where more to go & there was NO sign of improvement with all the work I was putting in, it required some difficult reality checks on my part.

With the choice I made on the Accounting & the computer science, I knew I could do it.....I worked hard....being a woman in a mans field at that time required harder work to prove myself which I did...& I succeeded in ending up in an engineering career for 15 years that I enjoyed & succeeded at & was respected for the work I did....nothing more or less than anyone else, but definitely not put down by anyone like they could have with my being a woman.

Continue working hard on what you are doing.....if in the long run you realize that what they are saying it true.....then it's up to you to make that determination in the long run.....but you need to know your talent & ability......& know how you really compare with those you are competing against. If the field you are in isn't that competitive like the flute positions I was going after (there are only about 5 flute players in each symphony....not a high demand for that & there are 1000's of awesome flute players).

Just be honest with what you are going after......what you are aiming for......don't let your teachers discourage you......but look at the reality of the situation & analyze it for yourself & what outcome you will end up with when you are finished....what are the opportunities......let yourself determine your talent...you know when you are more than good enough to accomplish your goals.....& either continue & go in the direction you are going or revise your path according to YOUR analysis.

Let yourself HONESTLY analyze your situation & determine where you are. I used to say there isn't anything we can't do, but the truth is that there are some things that take an inner talent that one can still enjoy what they are doing but at a lesser level than what is required at a higher professional level.

I hate it when criticism isn't constructive.....when it is attack form.....it should never be that way.....but some people don't know how to be any other way. Professors are especially that way...many think they are God espesially when they have students futures in their control.

When you know you are doing a great job & are still getting attacked, some professors think they are toughening you up for the real world (bad thinking on their part....but some think that way)...or they are trying to see just how serious you really are.

You need to determine where you really stand in the reality of the situation & determine what they are trying to do & what you need to do to either prove yourself or whether there is another option you may need to look at in the long run.

The only thing I can say is that they way they treated you is cruel.....but I have found out that in some competitive fields......the real world you end up working in isn't any less cruel or competitive......it's just something that only you are able to really determine......we can't go to college & stick our head in the sand without thinking about what the future really holds.....but we can't be scared off either......there takes a lot of self confidence in the success also.

Sorry my answer sounds so wishy washy.....but there is no real right or perfect answer......the real answer lies in your analysis of the truth & the reality of your situation without the influence of anyone but the truth (& that isn't coming from the professors most of the time).

I wish you success without allowing yourself to be influenced by the negative professors....but influencing YOUR OWN SELF with an honest appraisal of your situation.

Best wishes,
Debbie