I wrote this post a bit back but never posted it. So edited it a little and here we go.

I've been on PC for what seems like a while, but I guess, in comparison, not too long. I look back on when I first joined PC and I was a scared, confused person, hiding from a lot of their life, terrified about what was going to happen, alone in many ways. So much, both terrible and good, has happened since then.

Since then I've deleted my account once and changed my username a couple of times. I've had a rough couple of days but I look back to where I was even just half a year ago and I've come a far way. I tend to use PC as a tool to vent a lot of the time so I don't always post about the positives and I don't always see them.

I guess this is just an update on my life. Kate and I separated a couple of months ago but we're still good friends- it was mutual and had to happen. I have a job now, even if it's nothing spectacular. I take my medication, I go to therapy, I talk with my friends. Even if everything can be so awfully frustrating I try to give myself a fair chance. I do my best to stay clean and I do what I can to stay on the right path. I try to heal.

I've never been an optimistic person- I've never really had any reason to be, but I'm trying my best to be what I need to be. Things get very dark and they get very scary but at least I know I'm not going to back down without a fight. Eventually I'll get through to the light.

Posting this is a bit of my trying to reassure myself that I'll be okay one of these days. Thanks for listening and thanks for the friends who have been here for me. Now I'm going to press submit, otherwise I'll spend a couple of hours staring at the edit post screen.

I'm neither consistently optimistic or pessimistic, but I've always believed that you will be able to heal

[idontknow13]

((((Fenrir))))))
Keep on posting, it helps!

[Junerain]

PC IS a tool to vent, a tool to grow, you are wise to use it that way, again, you are trying to give yourself a fair chance

I, too have come a long way with the help of PC I could NOT imagine my life without it..

A job, spectacular or not is a JOB!! After all we have illnesses that others do not have to contend with...pat yourself on the back for your job- way to go!!

I am sorry for your separation...perhaps we can be there for you during this time

I feel with this post you are no longer hiding from life, rather, you are jumping in, letting us in, as you say, trying to stay on the right path.

May your path be beautiful, you deserve it

(((((Fenrir)))))))))))))) Your post is a huge step. Filled with lots of positives about you. To be able to see growth and the issues that were bringing you down is half the battle. The other part is you wrote you will not give up.
you wrote ((I do my best to stay clean and I do what I can to stay on the right path. I try to heal.)))))))))))))))))))
your on your way to your path of healing. Always hope and light and healing and kindness as you just wrote.

[pegasus]

((((((((( Fenrir ))))))))))

I have seen you in a lot of pain but all along I have seen you fighting and what a long way you have come! It's so good to see such growth! Proud of you and I hope your life continues to get better.