[stupified1313]

Im not even sure where to start, ugh.... My sisters husband died 4 years ago. During the last 4 years she has become worse ( she is an alchoholic, BPD, paranoid dillusional etc..) she assaulted 4 police officers went to jail was put on probation and got sober whew! Then she suspected her son was using drugs they got into altercation and CPS took her children away from her when she was doing her best. I have been caring for her sons off and on for the last 3 years. Then in 2009 she made 3 attempts on her life at the second attempt I had her petitioned for court ordered mental health tx. After the 3rd attempt we had to sell her home pay off her bills and continue picking up the peices of her mess. This 3rd attempt has set me off Im so angry with her I have absolutely no empathy for her what so ever. For the most part she never even tried though she does have mental illness she is smart enough to let herself seem and go completely insane so she can shrug her responsibility. My anger really stems from the fact she totally left her kids hangin in greif and loss and all she cares about is herself! I have so much on my plate already being a single mother of 3 myself suffering from depression and rage borderline bipolar and what have you.. My son suffers from severe depression poor self image.. Grrr and I cant fix anyone and nobody will try to help themselves! I just dont know what to do anymore, Im tired of listening to everybody's sadness and problems and I have nobody Im so damn alone! It is frustrating I love all these people so much. Why cant another family member step up to the plate with me why do I have to be the lone rock. I just want to run away and tell em all to figure it out but i know that is not the right thing to do. And I couldnt really do that how selfish of me!!!! Garrr !!! And yes I have a therapist and doc and blah blah blah and I think its a bunch of crap but I still go hoping someday I will get the help we all need!!!! And this is not even the tip of the iceberg!!! Anyway Im sure one of you will read this and relate or have some good words to say. Thanks for listening to my long winded bs!

[KathyM]

Geesh, and I thought I was blind. You're not lost, Stupified - you're right here in front of our noses. Can you see me now.....

Welcome to the forum, and I hope you receive LOADS of support here.

Don't you just hate it when people label you as "good" and "dependable?" I'd offer you a cookie, but it looks like your plate is already full. I don't have any answers for you, but I'll offer my forearm - feel free to bite. I usually hang out in the "Videos, Lyrics and Podcasts Forum."

For the record....I did NOT just tell you to BITE ME! However, if you feel so inclined go ahead and give it a shot.

[perpetuallysad]

Welcome to the forums Stupified. You sound like a really amazing person. I know right now you feel down and alone and used, but you are doing an awesome thing to take care of so many children. I am sorry you are having to do so with no support though, I know that must be hard. I was a single mother for about 4 years to just one child and it was nearly the hardest thing I've ever done. I don't even know you and I feel proud to know there is such an incredible woman sharing the earth with me.

I know a lot of times therapy really doesn't seem to do any good (at least that's my experience) but you are putting effort in and I think that makes a big difference.

You will find the greatest, most caring people on earth here at PC. So keep posting and we'll keep listening.

stupified, here is the link for Arizona's official web site: http://az.gov/# In the lower right corner of the page is a tab for live online help. In view of your circumstances, you may be entitled to some assistance, like food stamps, housing assistance, mental health programs, etc. Explain what is going on and ask to be directed to the appropriate people to help you apply for what you may be are entitled to. You might even ask if they are aware of any federal programs you should look into.

Good luck.