[teary_me]

well apart from finally seeing a new psychologist who i really like an finding out i have more mental illnesses than i thought it was a shock.. but i recieved this from my biological mum who does nothing but puts me down an only time she calls is to abuse me..
cant u see your father if putting you in the position where u r going to loose your mother, brothers and sisters and it doesnt worry him. We have only been trying to protect you cos the finance people who came here knew all about you as well and they can stop your pension and then where does that leave you. I couldnt give a stuff if your father is living with someone else coz Ive given up on him
and realize he is only a user and is only looking out for himself. He dont care about you or how u going to get hurt and I trying to stop that but u wont speak to me and every one over here is really pissed off
No one even rang aaron for his wedding and now he is in big trouble with his
eyes your father should ring him. but as aaron says he has his family and he knows who cares so his not going to have anything to do with your father

now it has played on my mind that he doesnt care even though i know he does deep down... i dont know how to explain it but his started a new relationship an ive been feelin left out an like a 3rd wheel.. how can i make her stop dragging me down so much

[Elysium]

(((((Teary)))))

I'm so sorry that you are experiencing this.

I have been in a similar place with my family. What has worked for me, fortunately and unfortunately, is distancing myself completely from both my mother and father, and rest of my family. It's been one of the most difficult things to do and I still struggle with it. Sometimes I long for the "good ole days" when I was young and everything seemed perfect. But it wasn't perfect. It was a game, and I was a pawn.

Even though it has been painful, stepping back from all of them has given me a chance to REALLY see what was going on in the dysfunctional family circle, without the tainted perceptions of others to taint my own perceptions. It's given me a chance to see what is in my world instead of having a skewed perception based on someone else's view.

Our parents love us, and they only want the best for us...but sometimes, they also have their own agendas and don't realize that their motivation is really self serving. They don't see how they are actually devastating us with their love.

Sometimes love ISN'T enough. Your family is unhealthy. You may never get to a point were either your Mom or your Dad will truly be concerned with purely your best interest. I've been there.

Sometimes, the only thing to do is to save yourself and just walk away. They will point fingers at you, whisper behind your back. They will fling at you their barbed arrows disguised as love, but once you can see that it is they that are unhealthy and unable to love and care for you the way you need, you will be able to deflect those arrows.

It gets better once you let go and walk away. It still hurts...a lot, but it gets better.

I'm always here for you.

[Ascension]

I agree with Elysium, you have to take care of you and if someone in your life is trying to control or manipulate you then it is best you keep them at a safe distance. I love my mother but she is a bit manipulative and controlling so I do my best to not let her do that to me. I call in and say I mom love you and I am well and then it's time to say goodbye pretty much. Not easy but it's what I have to do with her after years of trying to get her to understand and she doesn't. I wish you peace.

"The self is not something ready-made, but something in continuous formation through choice of action." ~John Dewey

May you choose what is best for you, teary_me.

[lonegael]

(((((((teary-me))))) You are more than what she wants to see. if you get a chance to change T's take this with you and show him or her just how you are treated. elysium has a good post. I'm so sorry. This must be heartbreaking for you. Huggs

[1flagwriter]

Elysium is right. Walking away here is the best thing you can do. If that is feasible, take the leap. Byz is right too. You need to protect and care for YOU.

We're always here if you need to talk!!