Explanation

All right. Many of you (if not all of you) have been wondering what in the name God has been going on with me and my attitude and since you’ve all been such wonderful friends to me I owe you all an explanation and an apology. Some things have happened in the last few weeks concerning both my mental and my physical health. I can’t really explain what’s happened in detail because it’s just to difficult for me, but because of what’s happened I have to leave the forums. I asked Doc John repeatedly to delete my account because it’s important to tie up my loose ends and I consider this to be one of those. Because I was extremely vague with Doc, he decided to put off granting this request to make sure that I wasn’t going to change my mind, and I don’t blame him for that. Well, after a couple weeks of asking and being under a time crunch here, I felt that I had to get his attention. That’s why I said what I said. I know that there’s no excuse for the things I’ve said and my reasons don’t make it right, but I felt that it had to be done. I want every single member here to know that nothing that was said is ANY indication of my true feelings. If you want my true feelings, here they are. I love each and every one of you more than I could ever begin to describe in a lifetime. You all have shown me nothing but love, friendship, and support. Some of us have had our differences, but we’ve always seemed to work them out and end up as better friends than we were before. Sadly, after what I’ve said I feel that this will not be the case. I deeply regret that I have hurt your feelings and I humbly ask for forgiveness, although I’m not foolish enough to expect it. You’ve all offered me friendship and I’ve burned that. I’ll be around for another week and I’ll do my best to answer any questions that you may have to the best of my abilities. Again, I’m deeply sorry and I love you all so very much. Thanks for taking the time to read.

All my love and friendship,
Ry

I think you have done alot for this community and everyone realises that you didn't mean what you said and they will be able to forgive you. I don't come here very often any more and with being away at the weekend I've missed most of what happened, but this apology seems very sincere.

I hope you manage to work through what is bothering you and that you manage to get back on track, you deserve it sweetie.

Love
Claire

good to hear from you ryan......no matter where you go or what you do.there will always be a place for you in my heart.....you're a very special man....God bless........take care......love you always...julia

Ryan,
i think its pretty cool to have been among the loose ends in the ongoing story of your life - we crossed paths on a planet of billions of souls- peace and take care.

To me, it sounds rather ominous, but I tend to always think the worst.

Good luck Ryan.

Ryan, Just so you know, I am not angry with you.
My feelings are still hurt, I am not going to pretend that they aren't. I understand that you are frustrated with your account not being deleted. I also understand that you were not try to hurt feelings. I guess I am just a sensitve person. ( lol )

i do forgive you and wish you the best of luck. Don't worry I won't hold it against you...... for very long

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jetblackaura said:
I think you have done alot for this community and everyone realises that you didn't mean what you said and they will be able to forgive you. I don't come here very often any more and with being away at the weekend I've missed most of what happened, but this apology seems very sincere.

I hope you manage to work through what is bothering you and that you manage to get back on track, you deserve it sweetie.

Love
Claire

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Thank you so much Claire. I hope you're right about everyone's willingness to forgive me, but as I said before, I don't expect it. Thanks for your support.

Much love,
Ry

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butterflylady747 said:
good to hear from you ryan......no matter where you go or what you do.there will always be a place for you in my heart.....you're a very special man....God bless........take care......love you always...julia

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Thanks Julia. you've always got a place in my heart as well. You to are a very special person and your kindness has meant the world to me. Much love to you.

Ry

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kathyanita said:
Ryan,
i think its pretty cool to have been among the loose ends in the ongoing story of your life - we crossed paths on a planet of billions of souls- peace and take care.

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I truely hope that you didn't take the loose ends comment in a bad way cause it was in no way intended to be. Peace to you and yours. Take care and be good to yourself. Much love.

Ry

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wi_fighter said:
To me, it sounds rather ominous, but I tend to always think the worst.

Good luck Ryan.

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Well sweetie, it is kind of ominous. I really can't go into details. So much love to you for all the friendship and support you've given to me.

Ry

Ryan,
no nothing is in a bad way- i mean its cool that the odds of meeting are against it and i for one will always know you as one of the "extras" in my story that was blatantly kind and willing- it was a small short scene but it s been good to keep.

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mrb023077 said:
Ryan, Just so you know, I am not angry with you.
My feelings are still hurt, I am not going to pretend that they aren't. I understand that you are frustrated with your account not being deleted. I also understand that you were not try to hurt feelings. I guess I am just a sensitve person. ( lol )

i do forgive you and wish you the best of luck. Don't worry I won't hold it against you...... for very long

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Dearest Mel... hold it against me as long as you need to. I don't blame you at all and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for forgiving me. You really don't know what that means to me. Again I sincerely apologize for hurting your feelings so.

All my love,
Ry

It's ok Ryan! Really it is. I am having a bad day, week rather so sensitive I am. I understand that we all have bad days and we all have bad times. I understand that sometimes we have to get away from the things we love, to realize what we need. Does that make sense to you? to anyone?

I hope that my post earlier didn't hurt your feelings, I was just hurt. So if it did, let me apologize to you.

I was only kidding about holding it against you...... geees you are gullible.

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mrb023077 said:
It's ok Ryan! Really it is. I am having a bad day, week rather so sensitive I am. I understand that we all have bad days and we all have bad times. I understand that sometimes we have to get away from the things we love, to realize what we need. Does that make sense to you? to anyone?

I hope that my post earlier didn't hurt your feelings, I was just hurt. So if it did, let me apologize to you.

I was only kidding about holding it against you...... geees you are gullible.

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Sweetie, I know you were kidding about holding it against me and I was kidding right along. No apologies needed from you. You didn't hurt my feelings and I totally understand where you're coming from. I hope your day and week get better. Feel free to talk to me if you need for the next week. Take care dearheart.

Ry

Oh yeah, and btw, there's nothing wrong with being sensitive. It's an endearing quality. If more people were sensitive, the world would be a better place.

Twin.

That sums it all up.

Jan

Ya think? ha ha ha

less hate and violence that is for sure

Ryan nothing you could do or say would hurt this tough ole mama hen, but Amy says you better behave or she'll come bust ya in the knee LOL
Angie

{{{{{{{{{{Ryan}}}}}}}}}}} I'll never change my mind concerning what I think of you and how I feel about you. You'll always be a winner in my book!

... but I'm still worried about you.

Know that I love and admire you.

Well, I for one, do not forgive you.

I wasn't offended. lol.

forever an ***,

sqrl.

HI Ryan - although we did not come in contact often on the boards, I certainly think you are a good person, and you have MANY loving and supportive friends here for sure !!!! I hope whatever it is that you cannot talk about here, you will soon feel better about. I was not upset or hurt by your postings , but I was very concerned - seeing a side of you that I knew meant you were perhaps in some type crisis. IF and when you leave this forum, please take all the wonderful supportive posts and caring friendships with you in your heart.

<font color="blue">(((((((((((RYAN))))))))))))))) I still consider you one of the good things that happened with my time here at psychcentral, and need no apology from you. I can't imagine why you need to leave here, and hope that it includes being able to come back soon. Actually, I've been called a lot of things but never part of a "loose end" Please take care of yourself... I know that those who are yet to be in your life path have a good thing coming! <font color="green">((((((HUGS))))))) _Sky.

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nothemama8 said:
Ryan nothing you could do or say would hurt this tough ole mama hen, but Amy says you better behave or she'll come bust ya in the knee LOL
Angie

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HaHa!! I'm glad that you weren't upset and I just might have to forget to mind my manners to that dear little girl will have to come after me so I can see her one more time. Much love Angie and the girls.

Ry

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January said:
Twin.

That sums it all up.

Jan

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I don't even have to tell you how much I care.

Much love,
Ry

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SeptemberMorn said:
{{{{{{{{{{Ryan}}}}}}}}}}} I'll never change my mind concerning what I think of you and how I feel about you. You'll always be a winner in my book!

... but I'm still worried about you.

Know that I love and admire you.

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Tomi, I love and admire you too. No need to worry dear. Everything's going to be ok in the end. And as far as winners go, I think you redefine that term. Thanks for all the positive things you've brought into my life. You're certainly an inspiration.

Much love,
Ry

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sqrlb8 said:
Well, I for one, do not forgive you.

I wasn't offended. lol.

forever an ***,

sqrl.

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You are forever an *** And have you ever given any reason for me to expect any less? I think not. But I certainly want to thank you for all the good advise you've offered and all the times you've listened to me when I've had problems. You've been such a wonderful friend. Take care bro.

Ry