i cannot function...

Alright so I have been trying to get rid of my obsessive thoughts..and have been somehwat succesful...i have 2 different sets of thoughts and the biggest one has been easier to get rid of...but i am now having them be more intrusive..i can't control themm...when i try to focus on something else i feel paranoid...i feel like i am being watched...i also do not know how to be me....i have focused so many years on these thoughts and living in my head that i am not sure of who i am or how to act.for one i want to be a writer but i ccan't convince my mind that i can do it without these thoughts...cause i nthe thoughts i am already a great writer...also if i try to hard to be myself i start to cry or get really upset..what is going on?

Welcome to PC anne1000. Are you receiving treatment for this problem?

No i am not getting treatment...while i was in college i went to a therapist off and on..it helped a lot but i had trust issues so i didn't talk to the T enough...by the time i stopped going i was doing a lot better but still having thoughts...i am back home now and i can'T afford therapy or medication...

Hey there and welcome - we're all here to support you
It does however sound like you may need medication or therapy - are you receiving any currently?
I know how scary these feelings can be, and I find writing about them really helps
(HUGS)

Anne - not sure what country you are in (if you feel comfortable, please let us know, as this will help regarding the various medical options available to you)
Is there no government funded hospital that is free and can help you? Is medical aid an option?

I live in the US...but I do not have my license so I am stuck...

Anne - all I can say right now is I'm thinking of you. I'm sure someone on here will know more about the American health system and can offer you advice. Keep yourself busy, look up funny clips on youtube and don't allow your mind the opportunity to get bored and start playing games and over-analysing.

(((ANNE)))

Thank you for listening and being supportive... i m trying to stay busy by writing...it is kinda working..

I feel anxious right now, though. and now that i have shared all of this info with other people i feel like crap.. :/

Hi Anne....

Aspiring to be a writer is a wonderful ambition. I share that with you too. Writers say the way to becoming a published writer is to simply write everyday. Set aside some time everyday to write and even if you are blocked you still need to give that time to making the effort. They say that the discipline of a set writing time is key.

Often anxiety sets off obsessive irrational thinking for me in a big way. My head just spins and spins with thoughts that triggers more anxiety and panic. It can help to write about how I am feeling and then using the writing to present a contrasting perspective to that presented by my first thoughts. There is a book called 'The Artist Way' by Julia Cameron that you might want to seek out. It guides you through a 12 week process to 'unlock the artist within'. Basically it disiplines you to write. First thing every morning you write your 'morning pages'. 3 pages of freeflow writing. The thinking is to catch you early before you mind switches into full gear. Its a great practise. When I do it consistently I experience great benefits. I go off and on the practise depending on my sleep patterns it seems.

Can you remember any tricks you learned from the college therapist to cope with your obsessive thoughts? There are lots of benefits to be gained from meditation. There are lots of ways to meditate. The goal is to give your head a break by getting lost in the NOW for a period of time. Acknowledging the thoughts that consume you for a time but letting them pass by while you focus on the moment of time. I often need a helper to do it. Something like a flower or a cloud in the sky or a rock with shapes and cuts to focus on will help me push other thoughts away for a while.

Don't worry about sharing information. I worry about that too and often feel embarrassed after I share something about myself or what I am dealing with. It truth you share far less than you think. You are not nearly as exposed as you imagine. And regardless you are in good company here so it is safe. It is also therapeutic. Like you I have no professional therapist or psych docs helping me with my issues. I have to find my own tools and develop my own coping skills to make it through the hard times. There is lots of information here and all over the web that has taught me coping skills.

Good on you anne for stepping out of your isolation and sharing your need so you can find others who walk in your shoes and can stand with you through this time.

Take good care and try not to think too far ahead or imagine what might happen next. Take some time to just be in the moment. Focus on your breathing and affirm yourself no matter what your thoughts try to stir up in you. Feel your breath and be grateful for each in and out your breath takes. One step at a time. Look and see beauty and rest in its comfort.

Anne, call the county social services to see if you are eligible for assistance. NAMI may be able to help: http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Sec...iateFinder.cfm

DocJohn started this thread: How do you pay for treatment? ( 1 2 3 ... Last Page)

You can try to get help from local support groups, churches and clinics. Good luck.

How ya doing anne? Thinking of you. Take good care.

well today i had work..it went alright, but right when i walked in the door i was stressing...my manager is very annoying...but i kept escaping to my thoughts which is not good...but they seem to keep me from getting too irritated...plus i keep trying to think of my stories i am writing but i feel like my creativity is gone without these thoughts... :/

Good to hear from you Anne. Why do you think it is bad to escape to your thoughts? Are they negative thoughts? I do a lot of what I call thought flipping. Taking a thought that is mostly negative and flipping it to find something positive about it. I too escape to my thoughts; especially when I am feeling stressed and feel the urge to rage building.

I hope you are surrounded by creative thoughts to pour into your stories. Take good care.

The thoughts are not negativde unless I make them negative. my thoughts are a part of the fantasy "world" i have made for myself in order to escape reality...mostly troubles at home and also things i can't control, i used it as a coping device, but now i have gotten to where my whole life revolves around them...

is there anyway you can make something of your fantasy world a reality? Just wondering how you can make a coping skill work for you. Do they ever come into your stories?

anne1000, does your general practitioner know about your emotional problems? Will he/she not help you get help? How about a cleric? Can you tell your spiritual leader you need help?

Finding help takes work. Have your state's department of health to request assistance?

Good luck.