[splitimage]

My addictions Dr. asked me an interesting question when I was seeing her in a one on one counselling session earlier this week. This was in context of my depression. I've suffered from depression on and off for more than 20 years, and am heavily medicated. I'm in another depressive episode at the moment despite the meds. My pdoc has suggested adding another med to my mix to treat it, and I was talking about it and being nervous about it. Her question made me really think. I answered yes I believe I can because I have to believe it. Also I've had periods in the past when I've not been depressed and have been happy, so I know it's possible. But that's not the whole answer I realized because I don't believe I'll ever be cured. I've had so many depressive episodes that I believe I'll be on meds for life, and that at best my depression can be managed.

The question is also relevant, perhaps more so, to my alcoholism. I have had periods of sobriety in the past, and am in another one now, however I have a long history of relapsing. Right now I'm taking a med so that I can't drink. And I don't think I'll ever get better. I know addiction is a long term progressive illness that isn't cured, so I have to learn to manage it, and live without alcohol, but I honestly can't imagine a time when I won't have to struggle with it, which to me is not better. It's coping.

So how do you feel? Do you believe you'll get better?

--splitimage

[notz]

I got different. I faced fear and the possible loss of me.

The struggle is always there in varying degrees but my coping skills are tried and true. Before sobriety, I had none. AA and other 12 step programs have helped immensely.

I hope all goes well for you, SplitImage.

[Skully]

I sure hope that things look up. All I can have is hope and look toward each day with a positive attitude.

[paddym22]

A very good question and one I really have to think hard about. For me it is a long term illness and coping skills, trigger avoidance, NA and therapy are my medications to beat the illness. I think it will always be there but in a way it is like a relationship with someone. I had an intense relationship with my drug of choice everyday, now I dont see the drug anymore and the longer I maintain sobriety, this absence from it, I hope the less familiar I will become with it.

Good luck

[Vibe]

I'm very much like you in terms of looking at my depression. I believe there will be good times and bad times, and that I can get 'better' overall (I have). However, I do think I will always be managing myself and that I will never be cured. At this point, I really can't fathom what it'd be like to have it all gone. It's almost like I'd be a different person.

[Rhapsody]

When I first became depressed I did not think I would get better, but then a very good friend help get me into therapy and two years into having regular therapy I started to say "ok girl its all up to you - swim or drown" and that was the turning point into me getting better.... all that was twelve years ago and I can say today that "I am Better" and I no longer want to kill myself to stop the emotional pain.

So... never give up.

No I don't however I believe I will have good times and bad times.

[thine_self_untrue]

I think there are some things I will always have to deal with. I think there will be times better than this and time worse than this. C'est la vie. May my spirit withstand to live it.

[FooZe]

Originally Posted by splitimage

Do you believe you'll get better?

This may sound flip but I really mean it as a paradox:

When I'm trying to get better, I don't. When I'm OK where I am and don't care if I get better or not -- I do.

[elliemay]

Without a doubt. I have already shed a lot of baggage and have little reason not think that I won't lose more in the coming years. As far as my depression is concerned, it's manageable. I have good times and bad times, but I'm not sure I can attribute it all to the depression. I think that maybe just the normal course of a life.

[Alexandria04]

I have hope that things will improve. On one hand, the things that happened in my past can never un-happen and I can't believe that they will ever cease to affect me in at least some small way, but at the same time I do believe I can deal with these issues and how they affect me and my behavior and move on with my life eventually through therapy and good supportive loving friends. So I don't know if I will ever be "cured" but I do have hope that things will improve and that hopefully eventually I will no longer need therapy or medication.

No. Not really.

[darkpurplesecrets]

I believe that with doing the work, facing the things that hold me down, taking babysteps and when I fall to get back up, keeping myself safe and reaching however small steps or reaches I can, and if I believe I can----I will. I did not used to believe this or think this, but in changing my thinking I believe I can somehow.

We wrote mantra's today at group and I want to share one of the one's I wrote.............

"A single spark can start a flame, a single step begins a mile, an up-side-down frown becomes a smile, and a million tries (even one try) becomes a start that begins a step towards what you are reaching for." dps

It is possible. Not easy but possible. This is my opinion, at least for me. Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps

[susan888]

(((Splitimage)))

I can't answer your question because I am still self medicating with alcohol. I do know that I absolutely HATE what I have become. I am ashamed...You have my admiration that you have been brave enough to try to change. You should be so proud of yourself even though you have had setbacks! At least you have had the courage to seek help and try.

Your post tonight is very timely as my daughter has had a bladder disease since she way 14 (diagnosed at 18). After her diagnosis, she was prescribed very powerful pain meds...She is now 26 and has a bad problem. Today she had her first appt with a recovery center that will help her detox and provide her support. She is so scared...and I am scared for her too. They told her that this will be a life long struggle, but with the right support she will be able to get better. She asked me if I would go to an NA meeting with her at the church we used to attend when she was a child. Tonight I am feeling like it has come full circle..In helping herself I think she might just help me too.

[pachyderm]

I have gotten better, so yes, it is possible! Not as well as I would like, but improvement is a lot better than staying in the same rut.

So how do you feel? Do you believe you'll get better?

Currently I feel like ****. But I can picture myself getting better one day, but it's farther into the future...

I really enjoyed reading this thread. I'd like to hug all of you!!!

The Promises and the Keys to the Kingdom are attainable by anyone who does the work, helps others, and gives back what was so freely given to them.

I'm still waiting on my Promises---but I will not forget the last time I drank, or its aftermath. ugh!!!!!--another 90 in 90.

I try to keep my side of the street clean.

I feel that the twelve steps should be taught to children in school.

I also feel that a majority of Alcoholics suffer from mental disorders; they use alcohol
as a "coping mechanism." I know I did. I just wanted to be numb-"comfortably numb"---------I do not need the rooms anymore.

In fact, my first sponsor told me she didn't think I was an alcoholic at all.
I am inclined to believe her---going through the hardest part of my life right now---
and I do not want a drink--my stomach gets queasy at the mere idea.

I love your Paradox, Fool Zero---I am in the moment, present here and now, and
YES---I do feel I am getting better!!! ((((splitimage))))), (((((notz))))), (((((paddy)))), and all else here---hugs---we will all get better!!!

We are better right this moment--NOW. ---------------theo

[Sabrina]

I did get better! Sort of. My depression healed (and I thought it never would) but I still suffer the odd anxiety attack. All I have left are my issues but I can live with them.

Thank you Sabrina. You give us all hope.........(((((Susan888& daughter)))),

I wish you all good things-------theo

[Ithinkimpsycho]

I know that I won't be "cured" per say, but I do know that things will get better. As long as I keep going on, I won't have to worry about things getting bad. Actually speaking of, I'm greatly looking forward to college. Things are going uphill for me

My first memory is of a trauma I still can visualize and hear today. When I think of cured, healed and recovered, I often wonder if I know what those words mean. I have nothing to compare them to. I have a treatment resistant illness. The pros have told me it is up to me; more therapy and drugs will not help much.

So, I look at functionality. What can I do to function better. And I am better. I had to lower my expectations. Just the same I am better.

This article touched me: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...ng-and-healing

[ruffy]

...I believe complete healing comes the very moment we realize our creator is not done with us yet, not by a long shot is he anywhere close to finishing, until we are made to be in his likeness, and I dont believe he is suffering any addiction, physical or mental illness...

[justme1981]

i guess it depends on who you are and what it is that is the problem. i just have bipolar with a mix of dependent personality disorder and borderline personality disorder. i honestly dont think i will get better. anything i have tried, i have failed, and trying to help myself get better, i'm sure i will fail at that too. i'm just saying that for myself, and there are others who have it much better than i do. others have a great possibility to get better and overcome their problems...