 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Aug 20, 2010, 06:41 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
A few weeks ago I destroyed my TV, Blackberry, Most of my Clothes. A few holes in the walls...Spent 1 week inpatient in the VA. put me on Depokote and Kolopin...
Today I spent 250$ on safety glasses...They were bugging me from the second I put them on..But at time I forgot I was wearing them... Now at home I put them on was going to read a book "about Bipolar".. well the glasses are destroyed. booked is in shreads. tried to bust a Dewalt drill by slamming it on the counter,just but a huge dent in counter... I really Don't think my DR knows what the hell she is Doing...I feel ok for a week, now I'm starting to feel like **** again..... What The **** is wrong with me...I can't go on. destroying everything.... I only really feel ok. after drinking a gallon of water..Always thirsty... Usually I eat to much. but puke some up... Always Tired...Body wore out...muscles and joints always Hurt... I tell her this and I get..Thats your Primary DR concern... I have Tramadol and Vicoden for Pain. But if I take a Tramadol I feel dizzy... So Damn Tired of This, If the rest of my life will be like this then **** it.
__________________
Pditty |
|
#2
Aug 20, 2010, 07:15 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
__________________
We must love one another or die. W.H. Auden We must love one another AND die. Ygrec23  |
|
#3
Aug 20, 2010, 07:32 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Pditty, did you go to your primary care guy? Does sound like you need blood tests and stuff. I just found out I am low on Vitamin D and in a week, my sleep, asthma, and aches and pains have all gotten better. Your anger thing sounds like it might be hormone/adrenal related maybe; go ask your primary care doctor about your adrenal glands and tell him your symptoms and ask for referral to an endocrinologist maybe!
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
|
#4
Aug 20, 2010, 07:35 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
Just talked to my Pdoc...told me to take .5mg kolopin 2x daily and 1000mg depokote at night and 500mg in the day... Somedays I can't relax always waiting on something???
__________________
Pditty |
|
#5
Aug 20, 2010, 07:51 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
what really sucks I don't Drive and My DR is over 50 miles away..and that's tele-med...130 mile for face to face...
__________________
Pditty |
|
#6
Aug 20, 2010, 08:36 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Well, you beat me. When I was on the wrong meds I distroyed my fridge, smashed a printer, a radio and wrote all over the walls. This was all due to a med that didn't agree with me. My VA would have monitored me better than that. If I ever get like that again, I have a plan in place to keep myself safe. I hope you find out what caused such a rage in you so you can be safe. This is nothing sit on. Be well and good luck.
|
 Crew, Pditty, Rhiannonsmoon
|
|
#7
Aug 20, 2010, 11:59 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hello pditty,
I agree with Futz, you shouldn't sit on this and you need to tell your primary care GP what you are going through. Vicodin is a CNS depressant, so if you are depressed that will not be helping that much. Ask your doctor if any of your meds could be causing your behaviours. I really wish you luck with this and I hop you get to the bottom of it, Rhiannon
__________________
 Peace, the deep imperturbable peace is right there within you, quieten the mind and slow the heart and breathe...breathe in the perfume of the peace rose and allow it to spread throughout your mind body and senses...it can only benefit you and those you care about...I care about you |
|
#8
Aug 21, 2010, 07:47 AM
|
|||
|
|||
 Anger is such a hard emotion to deal with, isin't it? Most people who have trouble with it seem to be at either ends of a spectrum - they either have rages like you describe, or they cannot show the emotion AT ALL because they are so afraid of it.Neither are healthy, and both need medical treatment. How do you feel with the klonopin? I wanted to mention that because I know for some people sedatives(benzodiazepines specifically) can actually worsen rages rather than calm one down. Something to consider mentioning would be trying Seroquel - while it can trigger the odd rage in an extremely small and rare amount of people, it is often prescribed to halt those type of feelings and has shown remarkable ability to control anger. Can you set up a space where you can take out your anger on certain things? Pick some items you do not care about being broken, and make sure they wont harm you in the process, put them in the basement or an empty or unused room in your house, and when you feel it coming on, go there, and release it safely. I am very proud of you for not taking it out on any of the living creatures around you. that shows an incredible amount of respect and restraint and insight on your part! Keep trying ok? Talk to us here. This is something that CAN be worked out and made lesser. |
|
#9
Aug 21, 2010, 12:46 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
__________________
Pditty |
|
#10
Aug 22, 2010, 01:04 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Not Sure My Pdoc knows what shes doing..she just ups my meds..And my feelings of rage are getting worse...I'm controlling them, but their always on my mind......
Any ADVISE....I'm now taking 1000mg of Depokote at night with 100mg of Tramadol. in the am I take 500mg of Depokote and .5mg of kolopin. then another .5 later in the day...
__________________
Pditty |
|
#11
Aug 22, 2010, 03:39 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Pditty; what were you like on less meds? If you're this bad on "more" what is it supposed to be helping? More is not necessarily better, as any kid who's eaten too much candy knows :-)
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
|
#12
Aug 22, 2010, 03:52 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Pditty, I can empathize with you, I've had problems with uncontrollable rage in the past also, and I hope you get your problem sorted out soon. Sometimes the meds a person takes can be the problem, but whatever the case is with you, I hope that you can find peace of mind soon. Maybe you should change doctors. Some doctors are better at working with patients with mental illnesses than others. Not to question your current doctor's competence, not at all. It's just a fact that some doctors are more knowledgeable in certain areas than others, and you should find a doctor that's right for you. Maybe your current doctor is just operating under a very heavy workload. At any rate, I will keep you in my thoughts.
|
|
#13
Aug 22, 2010, 04:43 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
POSSIBLE SOLUTION: Short term therapy to learn how to express anger in a healthy way. My rages were very spur of the moment too. But the counseling has helped so much. Hope this helps!
|
| Pditty
|
|
#14
Aug 22, 2010, 05:00 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
But anyone who has ever dealt with the VA knows the drill. Hurry up and wait. I'm sure my Pdoc is busy.. my sessions are 1/2hr long that's by Tele-med,.like Video chat
__________________
Pditty |
|
#15
Aug 23, 2010, 12:24 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Wow...I get "blue ribbon care" at my VA...I did not "connect" with my t, but still got a handle on the anger thing. Hope they will be able to help.
|
|
#16
Aug 23, 2010, 12:40 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
__________________
Pditty |
|
#17
Aug 24, 2010, 01:17 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Talked to my P doc. she took me off the kolopin, It was just making me edgy...
I see her Sept 3, looking into other options.. Still on 1000mg of Depokote at Night
__________________
Pditty |
|
#18
Aug 24, 2010, 09:23 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
This is way bigger than me. I'm one of those people who eats her anger or just cries uncontrollably. Love to your cat and to you. Cudos to you for seeking alternative help online. Keep posting. I've found people on this site to be very helpful and supportive. The fact that you are here shows a sincere desire to heal and change what is happening.
|
|
#19
Aug 25, 2010, 05:24 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
hmm interesting. you said you are thirtsy all the time. anger and thirst can be signs of diabitis. please have your blood sugar checked asap
__________________
He who angers you controls you! |
|
#20
Aug 26, 2010, 01:56 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
I'm now only Taking the Depokote 1000mg at night, a 100mg Trazadone.. and have been taking Loads of Vitamin D. I'm still obsessing about things, Mostly how Clothing feels on me..But many Deep breaths Calms it a bit.. If I'm working on an Easy "done it a million times" Job the thoughts are more frequent , But I find if I get engrossed on a project or Job, there not there as much... No Destruction Lately,Whew". But I still feel as if I'm always waiting on the other Shoe to Drop..........
__________________
Pditty |
|
#21
Aug 27, 2010, 05:03 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Greetings,
Quote:
Hmmm....now that you are looking back at these particular incidents, do you feel such a negative outbursts will inspire you to change for the better, or does it only discourage you? Please remember, the past will always be there to help guide you. Though, please do not ask it stick around to aid you in self-pity. Let it help you move positively forward. After all, you are the one who has to actually take the steps down the pathway of healing, not your Dr., or anyone else, only you. Nonetheless, there is more than enough positive support within the world to help you, if given an honest chance to do so. Have a good one. 
Last edited by Princess_Obsidian; Aug 27, 2010 at 05:15 AM. |
|
#22
Aug 27, 2010, 09:44 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Since stopping the klonopin seems to have helped a little, and it made you edgy, I really think that may have been part of the issue then. Sedatives DO increase rage in some people. Glad you have gotten at least a little progress. Keep up the good work.
|
|
#23
Aug 27, 2010, 09:56 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Dear Pditty,
I hope you are able to get the meds straightened out soon. I don't have much experience with this, but besides adjusting/changing meds it might be good to work on nutrition -- the Vitamin D as suggested already and maybe B vitamins, too, and fish oil if you're not vegetarian. If you don't think your doctors are listening, definitely see if you can find someone else. What you're going through sounds really scary, and you deserve all the help you can get. |
|
#24
Aug 27, 2010, 10:12 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
I do know how you feel. For a while I used to do things like that. I threw my phone at the wall after an argument with my ex girlfriend and broke it. I could never get it replaced. I also have broken other things, but I controlled myself. If I broke anything it was normally just some little thing on the floor or something random, nothing big, other than my phone. Sometimes I would take the anger out on myself too, of course... Back when I would SI. I guess that is what kept me from taking it out on anything else. The good thing is that you don't take it out on anyone else or your pets, a lot of people do. I never did either so that's a good thing. I just hope it gets better for you, but I feel your pain.
|
|
#25
Aug 28, 2010, 05:19 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Thanks Everyone..
Yes Since I stopped the Kolopin I have been feeling Better, The addiction of Vitamin D may be helping also.. Still on 1000mg od Depokote and 100mg of Trazadone at night.. I haven't Destroyed anything Lately..But the Thoughts are still there, Maybe not a frequent as before though..
__________________
Pditty |
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
