Very upset after Dr. appt

I went to the Dr. the other day for a surgical follow up and x-ray. And the more I think about it the more it bothers me. He showed me the x-ray and the area with the most damage to my lung, he explained to me all the work that had to be done to save me. He showed me that I was 1cm away from hitting a main artery. He said those that do hit that artery have 0 chance of survival. I wanted to cry, it was a real big eye opener. The surgery I had he said is one of the most extensive surgeries done at that hospital. I still can't remember a lot that happened that day so I could not answer some of his questions, but it just amazes me that I made it and I could not thank him enough. But then another part of me is not really happy I made it, I have that sad depressive side of me that is just pissed off to still be here. Why did I not die? This is what I know I have to work on. It is a challenge for me right now and until I get my meds correct it makes it even harder.

Bless your heart ~ it is a MIRACLE that you're here!! I think what you're looking at is that God was with you in that operating room -- and that obviously you are here because God has something he wants you to do here on earth! He saved you for a reason, that's for sure!

Isn't it nice to know that He was with you all that time? Of course He's with you ALL the time, but He was making sure you were going to make it. Now you have to figure out what it is that He wants you to do -- maybe you're supposed to give others some hope HERE.

I know you have your own struggles to take care of -- but knowing that there is something that you're meant to do will give you reason to fight. God bless you dearheart -- and know that I'm behind you 100%. Hugs, Lee

God is good. I think it's important for you to remember that the "part" of you that wants to live is the real you...and the other aspect is the depression talking.

Hello there, yes, I totally agree with the other two kind remarks. Indeed you are meant to be here on earth, you can, if you wish, provide insight to other poor souls suffering like yourself. Use your time wisely but be kind to yourself first of all, you are wanted and needed regardless what you may think. Good luck and big hugs. XXX

Hello, sunflowers07. As you note, you have been given the opportunity to make a better life for yourself. I wish you good luck in that regard.

Don't let depression tell you that this is too much work to keep you around. I am so glad taht you are. Just so very, very glad. HUGGGGSSSSS.

Because it was not meant for you too dieWe have to start being greatful about life because somepeople dont have a choice of being alive

((((sunflowers07))))

sometimes the meds used during and after surgery can cause depression. this is especially true for patients who have had open heart surgery. please tell your MD about this depression in the event that it is a side-effect of medication that you were administered or were taking. also, post-surgery, one's body is not feeling 100%. be patient, continue to heal and talk to your MD. i know someone who is a lung cancer survivor and, like yourself, had lung surgery (i am not familiar with the circumstances of your surgery). it is not easy surgery to recover from and he is still terrified of a recurrence though he has had a clean bill of health for 5 years now. the really good news? he met an old friend who cared enough to help him go through with the surgery and physical recovery. they got married over a year ago! you have a second chance; it's time to do all the things you've always wanted to but never got around to . . . until now.

Surgeries are hard things to go through. I don't blame you for being emotional about it. You got through it though and that's the main thing! You're a survivor.

everything happens for a reason,,whether good or bad ,we have to get to a point to where we can learn from it,,dont give up,,we are here for a reason,,i believe everything makes you stronger and can be learned from,,you are special,never forget that..many hugs and love..xo