What are your beliefs and experiences with self disclosure at work?

i work part time and have had to take Family Leave for 2 months to deal with my depression. I refuse to tell ANYBODY, except my employee rep, what is really going on with me. I made the mistake of disclosing at another job and it was just a disaster. I am good at advocating for myself but some supervisors take it the wrong way. they just dont understand. So, now I just say I was having problems with a medication I was taking and leave it at that. I dont want to come off rude to anyone, but I just play off any further questions. They ask..Where have you been? My reply? Oh, I was in Disney World....in my mind...ha ha ha!!! and walk away...Just little snide remarks to change the subject. Im kind of a loner at work any way so Im not worried about my reputation. People tend to find me hard to deal with most of the time. Not because Im just a total *****, but because I assert myself. Most people at my job are doormats. Any one else have problems or experiences at work due to disclosure issues?

I would agree that the fewer people you tell the better. Nobody needs to know your business and a lot of people have antiquated ideas about mental illness and may hold it against you. you are better off keeping it to yourself.

I don't think my personal life is my coworkers' business.

Not good experiences, i told my boss and he tried to argue that the mental affliction didn't actually exist lol.

I've had both good and bad experiences with disclosure. Normally I'm pretty open about my mental health history and addiction history, beause I just find it easier to be open, plus I believe people have to be willing to talk about their experiences if we're ever going to change the stigma surrounding mental health and addictions.

I was totally open about my mental health issues at Pearson - everybody knew. It made it easier for me, to take time off for psychiatrist appointments and if I had a bad reaction to a med change I could just call in and say look I'm having a bad reaction. But I'd also been with the company for 10 years and had always been a top performer so I was protected to an extent by that. About the only downside was that I became the go to person for anyone in the company with mental health issues or with a family member with mental health issues. Don't know why they all came to me instead of calling the EAP but anyway - so I just started keeping a list of referral numbers at my desk.

At Biotronik I was open about my mental health issues and addiction issues mainly because I was working this really screwy flex time schedule that allowed me to attend support groups and therapy and pdoc appointments. But I was only open with my boss - nobobdy else in the company knew why I was working a screwy schedule, they thought it had something to do with my music lessons as they all knew I'm a harpist. It turned out to be useful that I'd been honest with her from the start because I relapsed pretty badly and had to repeat rehab, and we worked out a schedule of me working part time which allowed me to do rehab and still have some income coming in. New management came in that hated the fact that I worked flex time, purely on principle, and they eventually fired both my boss and me. I was just as happy to be let go, although it was stressfull, becuase I didn't like the new management.

At my last job, which was at a major hospital, disclosure was an unmitigated disaster. I was forced to disclose everything to occupational health via a questionnaire, that was totally illegal, but who wants to tell their employer that what they're doing is illegal on the first day. For the first 3 weeks on the job, everything was fine, I was getting positive feedback as well as the normal new job constructive criticism. Then we had an all day finance dept meeting and part of it was playing a get to know you game over lunch. People would pull questions out of a bag and ask them of anyone around the table. I got asked the question "If you could win any award, what would it be and why." Idiot me should have said the grammy's or something like that, but no I didn't think, and answered honestly. I said I'd like to win CAMH's (major psych hospital) courage to come back award, because I've overcome both mental health and addiction issues. Dead silence. Then someone very quickly changed the topic. A week later, my boss expresssed "concern" that I was a poor fit for 60% of the job. He then gave me a one month written performance appraisal that was the worst I've ever received in 20 years of working, and they threw everything they could into - including stuff that wasn't even true, it was obvious that they were trying to fire me. After that it was nothing but negative feedback about how I wasn't performing, but whenever I asked for specific feedback it was all very nebulous stuff like, "you're not showing enough interest in the clinical programs", "you're awkward in meetings", "you're slow in meetings". They never went after me on technical skills it was always vague interpersonal stuff. 10 days after I got the written performance review I was dismissed as not meeting expectations. This experience has left me very leary of ever disclosing to an employer ever again.

--splitimage

if my employer wanted to know-sometimes there was a valid reason-i'd say there was an illness in the family. wasn't a lie. i was the family member who was ill.
i do agree with your protecting your situation. there are a lot of ppl, most i think, that have no understanding about our MI. i joke that if i told them the truth they would envision me going into mcdonald's with an ak7 rifle!... NOT.

I do agree that most of the time the fewer people that know is better in the long run. I work in the medical field, I did end up talking to my manager/assistant manager about my diagnosis of PMDD. I decided to tell them when I knew it started to interfere with my job, like I was calling in more frequently. At first, because we were (and still are) short staffed my manager was not as understanding about it, but because my doctor filled out the medical leave papers and HR approved them, they couldn't do anything about it. (I found out another co-worker also got the cold shoulder when she had to take a medical leave as well.) As for my co-workers, I gave people very vague ideas of what was going on...."Oh I was having really painful periods....and had to get some tests done." I didn't feel comfortable telling my co-workers or even the co-workers I talk to outside of work; I wasn't sure if people would understand.

If I was out and someone noticed, I would just say "I was out. I'm back now!" And if they persist, the get the exact same answer. When you give the exact same answer mutiple times, they finally get the message that there is a flaw in their question.
Supervisors/bosses do need to know how long you will be out and when you will return, so they can manage the business needs. That is all they need to know.

I think it depends on your relationship with the company. Where I work now, I have fully disclosed my mental illnesses. Of course, that was one of the requirements for the job.

I tend to wait for a bit and see how the atmosphere is at work. I approach my boss id he seems to be receptive after about a month and if there are problems with my meds if he seems a bit old fashioned. Until now, there have been no problems with that end of the business. I have always told my supervisor, and usually this has been a wise move. most only care if it affects the patients adversely.

Colleagues are another matter. I try to get the feel of the place. Some work places I play very close to the chest, others I might slip hints, but nothing hugely obviously. I might disclose to a colleague I work closely with if I sense that the person can handle it, and if I have to disclose for one reason or another to another, I make sure that colleague is with me. It is amazing to see how having a totally unsuprised coworker in the room can affect others when one discloses Suddenly, one isn't really a freak. In one case, it was the boss, and he was so completely blasé that people were sure they didn't hear right. I take it very carefully and step by step. Ideally by the time I do, I have made myself a valued worker and it also shouldn't be a huge shock But sometimes, that time doesn't come.

I had a bad experience at work that wasn't about mental illness but still it made me want to hide my problems after that. I had come to work at times with bruises and black eyes and I was alone in a room with another RN I worked with and she asked me if I was being abused. I told her yes, I thought she would keep that in confidence but she didn't. She told our assistant manager about it. Then the asst mgr went home and told her husband who happened to be good friends with my boyfriend, my abuser. Her husband told my BF that I was talking at work about him abusing me and he should lighten up. He probably had good intentions but my BF never mentioned it until one night when I had had gone to bed and then my BF came running in the room and told me and started beating me in the head and said if he was going to be called an abuser he was going to act like one.

So I learned people at work do not keep things said confidential even they should.

((((((((Yoda))))))))

I used to believe about changing the stigma around MI and letting people see that I could still function the majority of the time with my issues. That has changed - I have received poor comments in reviews by a new manager, completely related to MI, but always indirect. I am now on short term disability for MI and only share with HR.

Don't mean to sound pessimistic, but I will never again disclose at work or otherwise

There would be absolutley no need to allow collegues to form opinions.
I have done it twice and both times was made out to feel well handicapped in a way it really did show that the bosses could justify there own incompentcies and irrational behaviours by slinging mud at someone else labelled mentally ill. So personally never again Ill be following your lead with alternate health situations.
Thank-you

I treat the MI like I would any other medical condition and only letting them know if I have to miss or need scheduling changes that it is for medical reasons or if have to be out, only b/c am ill. HR has known in the past specifically such as when have had to file for leave. However, there is also the issue that I have run into of confidentiality, that not all of bosses in the past have kept it to themselves and this has created issues in the office with them and other coworkers when had to be out for mental reasons. It is a medical condition and now I leave it at that.

It also is none of their business, even if my job performance becomes impacted just as if it was another condition, still have to figure something out to manage the work/scheduling regardless of knowing what the specific illness is. I don't discuss the other conditions either keeping it non-specific as their can be preconceived notions against other diagnoses as well, not just mental illness but even more so with MI.

When I was diagnosed with cancer, I let them know in case there were issues, to be upfront about it and honest, and also not knowing what was going to happen. However, my job performance had not changed, still maintained an exceptional standard even being more vigilant concerned that I might falter. Coworkers even noticed this and how really well I held up at work, always friendly, still the go to person, quality work, and on time with everything always despite how hard the treatments were. All of the sudden I get a performance review telling me how I had let some projects fall through the cracks, was uncooperative and no longer a team player, and that they needed to let me go. This was all crap and couldn't be further from the truth. The illness personally scared this boss (as if I wasn't) as he indicated at one point; I was a constant remind of those fears and he did not want to accommodate anymore scheduling changes despite the work getting done well and on time.

So no matter the condition, MI or other health, I'm out for doc appointments, health issue or ill but never why specifically unless absolutely have to now. This has become acceptable to all of my employers since and saved all of us a lot of grief in the process. I hate hiding things on one hand but at the same time, not everyone is as understanding and I cannot afford to take that chance with my livelihood anymore.

yodacall an abuse hotline. it's confidential. they can refer you to someone who can help you. or they will chat with themselves. no one has the right to hit another person. you are in danger staying in this relationship, imho. take this advice from someone who knows, me. i almost died from my abuser. stay safe. call 911. get help.

I had to take time off sick with anxiety and depression at my last job, and Human Resources came at me and at me to get permission to read my medical notes. At that time I didn't know I was schizoaffective, but I did know that I had High Functioning Autism on my records, and a history of depression and suicide attempts. Obviously I told HR to mind their own business... and they responded as though I was trying to pull a fast one on them. "Anyone else would give us permission to see their medical records, why won't you?" I knew that they would use it as an excuse to fire me, and I think their behaviour was illegal... I have no idea if I'll ever be able to get another job, if they ask on the disclosure form "do you have any serious illness that could affect your work performance, which is something I've seen on every job I've applied for in the last ten years.

For me it has always depended on how long I've been in the job, how well I know the people and how important they are in my overall life, etc.

I've disclosed twice, once to help my boss who had a mental health problem in her family be less secretive about it to me (there was just me and her and I could tell she wanted to talk about it but was afraid so I kept talking about my own experiences) and the other time at a long-term job where I knew everyone intimately and well and couldn't really get away with leaving for half a day once a week for therapy so just toughed it out and added to their teasing, doing it up worse than they could (banging my head against walls when frustrated, and otherwise acting "crazy" :-) It was a very closely knit, family business without personnel "people" and I was in the front office so was one of the personnel people so it all worked out over the course of the time I was there. I'm still good friends with the people there, even after having left 6 years ago.

thanks, madisgram, but he is dead now

i have never disclosed my malady to anyone at work.it is a tricky issue.i sometimes feel like i am living a lie by not disclosing but i prefer that to the stigma and gossip that would insue if i did disclose my condition.i prefer to be an enigma to them,keep them guessing.

whoa!! im pretty sure that is illegal. And that screening question about your illness is most definitely suspect...if not illegal...How did you answer the question? I dont think I would want to answer, but then it would raise a red flag.

Sorry, some computer glitch posted my post twice!

I was fired from my last job because of my illness. I was a bit too forthcoming about why I was gone for weeks on end (in the psych ward). It was a small CPA firm, no such thing as an HR department.

So I was very scared to tell anyone at my current job. But I was missing so much work that I had to apply for FMLA coverage so I didn't lose my job - again! I tried sending the forms to a guy in personnel - we don't really have an HR department. But my boss got all upset that I wouldn't come to her first. I tried not to tell her but she just kept asking. So I told her.

At least if they fire me this time, I can sue their pants off because I'm covered by FMLA.

I hate that she knows I'm crazy. I don't think she treats me the same way.

Oh, and I brought a full-spectrum lamp to work, I thought it looked like just any old lamp, but my coworker asked if it was a full-spectrum. I dodged the question but I think she knew I had some sort of seasonal depression.

What do you do when you don't have an HR department, and you have to file for medical leave? Does anyone have an idea?

I already screwed up this job, but maybe I can do better at my next.

I have attempted to disclose my PTSD and Depression with 3 separate employers, each time going through the "legal" channels of HR and filing for "legal" assistance for FMLA. Each time it has been a disaster and led to my employers finding anything and everything wrong with my performance that they could, even though they couldn't prove it. I have been denied promotions, salary increases and have been emotionally tormented by employers. I fought so hard with one employer, and I was winning "legally", but the Managers and Supervisors just made it that much more difficult for me to be successful and would spin every little thing they could into some reason to write me up. They turned it into a toxic work environment and for my own health and sanity, I ended up leaving. I'm not saying I'm the perfect employee, but I KNOW I am as capable as any other employee that was there at doing my job. And the issues didn't start until AFTER I disclosed. Self disclosing just about ruined my career. And I'm not talking about just a job, I'm talking about my ability to provide for myself and my ability to get a job...anywhere.

I had to leave the State to find salvation and find work that would accept me. Word gets around in the healthcare community, especially when you have old supervisors who are presidents of the local chapter of the American Nurses Association. Yeah....it's a wonder it spread like wildfire.

I will NEVER again voluntarily self disclose; EVER!! If I am ever in a position where I need to, I will make sure to have an employment attorney do it for me, so my employer knows from the get-go that I have representation and that they better mind their P's and Q's.