[Leora]

Hi everyone: I need some advise. I think that I made someone that has been a friend to me here, hurt and I am not sure what to do about it. We were in chat and talking about food and they made a joke and I made a joke back and I thought that everything was ok. Then this morning I got a PM from them and it made me feel like I hurt their feellings and it is driving me crazy. I keep coming back to see if they read my apology and I am driving myself crazy. I don't know what to do I would never hurt someones feelings willing or knowingly. This is all that I can think about.

[dottie]

Leora...it is intent that makes a situation what it is. You did not intend to offend anyone. We cannot be responsible for how others FEEL. You have apologized. I'd say it's a done deal.

At times my feelings can be easily hurt...but I never stay angry...I believe in accepting apologies with grace...and then move along. You are a very nice person in my book. Take good care!!

[jagster]

Im sorry that happened. I hope the two of you can work things out.

[Ryan]

Leora, you've done exactly what I would have suggested. You apologized and explained yourself. If the other person chooses not to accept, then there's nothing you can do about that. You just have to remember that you did not intend to hurt this person. Dottie's right on the money. I hope things work out. Take care.

Ry

[(JD)]

Things happen IRL while we are onsite.. also, we trigger each other sometimes, without intent. Sometimes it's even something the one being upset had no clue about previously. It's part and parcel of online therapy/support like we give each other here.

And... in a social chat, we can - or even try to - let "our guard down"... resulting in mixed feelings.

If you PM'd them, and it wasn't intentional, then you've done what you can. Learning to better phrase things... or learning new boundaries.... is also part of the social aspect of this site. But then, we are each responsible for our own actions/reactions. Hopefully, we do the best we can.

I think the other member was "kind" in one sense, to let you know. It might have been too much for them to tell you in the chat. Often the reaction is to just leave chat (maybe after making a strking blow back?) It's best if we find ourselves doing that, to go back to chat and try to work through it IMO.

I'm sorry to hear you are both suffering from this, and hope it can be a stepping stone for more healing.. which we all need! TC