[coffeedude]

Hi everyone. First of all, I just wanted to acknowledge the tragic events involving the miners. I can't imagine how their families must feel, and my heart, thoughts, and prayers goes out to all those involved.

On a different note, my first year at college is certainly testing me. Overall, it's going well, and I really love it here. I've made friends, and my depression has been under control recently. Something that's really stressing me out is my major. I know that probably all Freshman say this, but anyway... I came here as a music major, but just TODAY I switched to Psychology and Spanish. These things really interest me, and I'm excited to see where it takes me, but at the same time I feel like part of my dream is shot. Music is something that has touched a part of me that nothing else has or ever will. I wanted to be a choral director- and I'm at a school with some of the best choirs in the world (Concordia College). I feel like I let some people down, aswell- my choir directors, piano teachers, voice teachers, etc... The music education program is extremely competetive and can get very intense due to how hard the major is, and I think that this is also clouding my thinking about this.

Anyway, I just wanted to get this internal conflict out there, as you all know sometimes that helps. I've decided that I'd like to become a therapist, and think that few things could positively affect the world more. But, at the same time, I can't stop thinking about my love for music.

Take care, thanks listening...

Andy

hey.

why spanish?

couldn't you double major in psychology and music?

maybe...

you could get into music therapy or something ;-)

[coffeedude]

A music major has too many demands and can't be done with any other major. I really like spanish? :-)

[kimthecatlover]

Hi, I am starting college on the 17th of this month. I know I should be happy about it,I am happy about it, but I am afraid that my support staff will watching me more, like they will want to 'fix' me up so that I will not be 'set up for failure'...they seem to want me to dress and even act perfect sometimes, they try to get me to wear more 'feminine' clothes(I dress neat and clean and wear nothing that's offending)and they seem to look at things I do a little closer...Why can't they just say I need to be watched closer now because of starting college and they don't want me doing something dumb and that they're worried I MIGHT stress out/decompensate? Their worrying is worrying me. Is my staff worrying about college normal(part of their job)? Otherwise I'm okay, glad to hear that you're in college,Coffeedude.

> A music major has too many demands and can't be done with any other major.

Ah, yes I understand.

Sometimes... It can be hard to know. I changed my degree three times (lol!) before settling upon what I'm doing now. And I'm fully prepared to do another degree once I've finished my next one too.

:-)

I guess... It can be hard to figure... But you might have a bit of time to sort it out... Sometimes you get a couple years to sort it out... And settle upon what you want to do (without ending up with papers that do not credit along the way).

You know that if you want to be a therapist that will involve grad school eh? (Well, if you want to be a psychologist at any rate).

Hey. Your 'support staff' try and get you to dress different and stuff???

> Why can't they just say I need to be watched closer now because of starting college and they don't want me doing something dumb and that they're worried I MIGHT stress out/decompensate?

Could you maybe talk to them? Ask them if that is what is on their mind? And maybe tell them... That you don't have a problem with the way you dress and neither does anyone else aside from them...

I imagine... That they are just worried about you. People can fuss a bit when they are proud of what you have done so far and they really want you to do well... But of course it is your thing and I would bet that your future is more important to you than it is to them...

I hate it when people tell me how to dress etc...

Could you maybe talk to them?

Could be part of being more independent...

[coffeedude]

You're right- graduate school is on its way!

Later on you should be able to use some of your basic courses for psychology as fillers for credits in some requirements for your music degrees and vice versa. Even if you get one degree those courses can be listed as taken and credits recieved for them are transferable. Sociologies and psychologies are (or were when I was in college) were transferable to almost any degree and major and or minor (when completing two degrees at once.) Talk with your assigned guidance professor and they will explain how to take or complete both degrees either together or back to back or as a returning student.

[eskielover]

coffeedude,

Oh my, you sound similar to my thought processes when I was in college. Concordia College is a Lutheran College if I remember right?.....great for music & especially coral conducting & vocal performance.

I started off at a junior college as a music major (flute). I actually got my AA degree in music. I enjoyed the performing & took many coral conducting courses, & the music theory & history are soooooo time consuming because they added to that composing music. I had been around music all my life performing piano & flute from the time I was 5 years old. Music ran in the family with my 3rd cousin was the head of the coral department at USC...so it seemed like the direction to go in.

I agree with you thoroughly....the music major takes so much time because it isn't only the class work, but the practicing for performing/singing takes hours daily. The course work takes so much time learning the theory & the musicianship on top of the performing.

I transferred to a 4 year university (Northridge) where I planned on continuing my music. I passed the proficiency testing & started taking flute lessons with one of the accepted flute instructors (who had studied under Rampal herself). I was finding that I was practicing 8 hours a day on top of trying to do the courses. I felt like I hit a level & just couldn't improve. Frustration hit & I was working doing data entry to pay for going to school on top of the school work & practicing. I started to think about other options & computers & accounting came into my mind to look into. I had always been good at math & loved working with computers. I observed some of the programmers & what they did while at work. I started realizing that the only place for me in music would be a school music teacher & I never wanted to work with children. I had taught lessons but didn't enjoy that very much either. I knew that I would never be able to compete with the performers in the symphonies so really had to sit back & analyze my abilities.

I ended up choosing the Computer Science/Accounting information majors....& dropped the music courses (couldn't do both...no way). I ended up getting my BS in Computer Science & Accounting information systems & had a wonderful paying job lined up before I even graduated.....& then ended up getting into the aerospace engineering. I enjoyed it so much & worked in that field for 15 years. While having my engineering career, I enjoyed my music abilities. I played my flute all over the place.....there were many demands for flute in different groups & churches....I also got a chance to use my coral conducting at church also when I took over the conducting of the church choir & coordinating the songs with the sermons. There is a flute choir where I live & performed in that for many years....then several of us put together a professional group. I got a chance to do a few recordings (nothing for sale). I have since gotten away from my music for many years now, but am hoping that when I retire within the next year, I will be able to move somewhere that my music can be back as part of my life.....I do miss it. On top of music, I am able to enjoy my love of animals with my breeding of my american eskimo dogs & my horses. It is great to have many things in life that you enjoy & want to be involved with.

I guess what I am trying to say is that, no matter if you change your major to the spanish & psychology, you will always have your talent & be able to use it in places you may not now realize.....but once you end up with your career.....you will be able to find a place for the music you so love.....You are not really giving it up. It is something you will always have & be able to enjoy. Don't feel bad about changing majors.....sometimes we have to figure out the career we really have a passion for but it doesn't mean that music will be thrown away.

Debbie

[eskielover]

kimthecatlover,

I think your support staff needs to back off quite a bit. If they are concerned, they should concentrate on things that are important.....not on wearing more feminine cloths. That has abosolutely nothing to do with being successful in college.

The more they knit pick, the harder the time you will have. I think it would be a good idea if you set up boundaries for them.....if they are really interested in your being successful. Going to college while dealing with psych issues can be rough......when I got my BS degree, I didn't have any psych problems at all.....until my career ended after 15 years. I went through 10 years of anxiety & depression after my career ended.....then I went back to study a new field. It was tough to concentrate.....but college here in the USA has help for those of us with psych disabilities.....& your support staff should be heading you in that direction to give you the maximum help that you will need....not how you dress. It sounds like the direction they are pushing you in is more harmful than good. Acting & dressing perfect has nothing to do with being successful in college. Hard work & concentration on the subjects you are studying is all that really counts in college. It is also important to not let the psych problems take control of your mind also. I experienced having anxiety attacks when I went back to school & many times I had to kick my rear & not let myself crawl under the covers & sleep the day away. It takes determination to be successful & keeping your mind on track of your goals.

I am sure you will be able to do well in college......it is a wonderful experience....one I would always suggest people going for. The experience is great for maturing also & taking on responsibilities & seeing them through. If you go into college with those goals, you will be successful in whatever field you choose.

Go for it & don't let your support staff get in your way,
Debbie

[coffeedude]

Your reply helped so much! Thank you!

[coffeedude]

I'm sorry that on top of the normal stress that we experience with this HUGE transition that you have your support staff giving you a hard time. I hope that you can communicate your frustration to them in a way that helps them understand what you're feeling. Let us know how it goes!