Having a very hard time.

Ok... I am really having a hard time. I have been through a lot in the past year and the one thing that was stable in my life is going awry! I thought I was handling things until now but this feels like a last straw!

Long story -short - I am tired of dealing with changes! My job which I have been at for 18 years(!) and enjoyed - and is the only stable thing in my life to this point - has become a nightmare! Sudden changes in leadership and attitudes that are uncaring and insensitive and today I can honestly say inappropriate! I don't want to change jobs - I had planned to stay until I retire... and the response I get when I tried to talk about how I feel (which has always been an acceptable thing to do) I am informed that I am allowed to look for another job if I don't want to be here anymore! I have always been a good worker and high money maker for the company. I complain very little and ask for hardly anything. This is the first time I thought it important enough to speak up... and wham!

I have enough on my plate personally to keep me afloat and getting out of bed daily. I am trying hard not to give up and let whatever happens - happen... I am tired of struggling.... I am tired of "hard" and "dissappointments"..... etc.... in need of support and encouragement.

Hello, kassie1. May you find support and understanding here.

sounds like everyone at your work is having difficulty. I guess all you can do is one day at a time! I am sure it sucks after being there for so long. This just seems to be the way a lot of employment is going lately. I am sending positive thoughts your way, Hope it helps!

Yup my work did it too. I have been with them 9 years. They changed my title and cut my pay 20%. It wasn't personal they did it to everyone who held my position in the company. The kicker is I'm still doing the same job. I don't want to leave either, but I feel like I have to.

hi kassie, with new management and policy changes often times this happens. they don't know you personally as ppl before did. also the job market has been so competitive that i believe companies have become a bit callous, imo. i worked in upper management for years and everytime there were changes everyone had to adjust once again. with other things going on in your life this past year i think you went on overload emotionally. (i am not minimizing how you feel) just like you said it was the last straw. hope you have a good support system outside of work. i'd suggest you discuss how you feel here and with them. you need that right now. if you have some vacation time consider taking some days off to give your mind time to recharge.
you have been successful At what you do. remind yourself of those accomplishments. try not to jump the gun considering changing jobs. there's no need to do so unless you want to. try to focus on doing what you do so well and make every attempt to let this snafu roll off your back. i know it isn't easy...you've put your heart and soul in your job. continue to do that.
i'm not sure what you said but there might have been something misunderstood by them to give you the reply they did. i don't necessarily agree with their posture. what i do know from my own experience is that saying anything other than "yes" to a company is a no-no even if you're right. i dont understand that mentality but that's what i figured out early on.
are there other things not mentioned in your post re the job?
sorry for the rambling. know we're here for you and ready and willing to listen. we care about you.

Yes, that's what I think too, which is why I thought "oh no, she didn't keep her mouth shut, that's going to cause friction."

:/

Not that it's a problem with her, just how authority works. Can't question them. :s

Well, my internet was out yesterday so I couldn't talk to anyone.

With some distance, I realized that I have been very "emotional" about the job. I know it is not all about the job, but until now, I had 27 years of a husband and children to take care of - so a job was a job. My personal life was challenging. The changes in the past year include a divorce and empty nest. I am alone for the first time in 27 years. I had little time for friends but had two for 20+ years. One "quit" on me during the divorce. The other moved. So I have felt really alone. I have no other family contact.

During the past year - my old supervisor and co workers gave me the support I needed to do what I needed to do. ( My exh works at the same place - is an active alcoholic with anger issues) My old supervisor was a God-send to me. When she left I was bereft but we have stayed in contact. My co workers are supportive but they are struggling too.

Last night a new friend (alanon type) put this perspective on it all - I left and overcame an alcoholic abusive parent - I left and overcame abusive husband #1, and alcoholic/abusive husband A#2. All personal - now I am taking my recovery skills into a new area - work... and since I have not been one to speak up before it is new for everyone to deal with including me. Speaking up for onesself sometimes means that ppl won't like what we have to say and it is ok.

So, the journey continues... I do think it was inappropriate for my new supervisor to call me "whiny" and to turn around what I thought was a very supportive gesture "of moving my office so I wouldn't have to be around my exh" into a negative gesture of " I did it because I thought you were whiny and thought it would stop".

What I was standing up for was a "as a staff, having input into the changes being made since we have to be the ones to carry it out" based on prior way of doing things and having more experience of what works best. But it was made quite clear that this person thinks they are doing the best they can - is listening - but has to follow the administrative orders. (Not that anyone else in her positive ever did and nothing bad ever happened as a result)

From now on it will me talking things out here and there when I need to and keeping my distance. But I have to do a better job of not allowing someone else's behavior control mine.