[noneedtoknow]

I don't post very often to say I need help or support. Im just not good at it. But I need support. I am tired of fighting this. I have fought with my doctor about my diagnosis. Some of it has been diversion, but alot of times, I think my problems are related to other things. And if I would take care of those, everything would be ok. I have had problems with mental health stuff at times in the past. I was hospitalized 1 1/2 years ago for the first time in my life. I have gotten so much better since then, my doc even said so today, but said I could still do better. I'm tired. I think I am doing fine. I think I don't need medicine. Like I said, if I would do/work on my other things, I would be fine. I dropped most all my meds except my seroquel and then only taking enough for sleep. I thought I was doing good-and I was. Then yesterday, got scared and today I spiraled down. And I wasn't nice with my doc. And I am just tired. And scared. I just started a new job that I have to stay up all night when I work. And I am afraid if I can do this physiology wise. I know I can do the job itself. I am away from my support at that time to-I travel back and forth. Right now it just feels like I can't make myself. I am so blanking tired. What is sad is, tomarrow, I could feel better, and then I am back to thinking I don't need to do this. Im sorry for the long rambling....I just don't have alot of energy now to keep this up

Hello, noneedtoknow. My suggestion is for you to print a copy of your post for your doctor. Is seems you and your treatment team need to mutually ascertain what the treatment goals are and formulate steps to attain them.

[Raindropvampire]

I don't know what your diagnosis is but mine is BP. Logically I know it is a chemical imbalance in my brain that will never go away on its own. Emotionally I get tired of taking so many meds and get in periods of not wanting to take them because I think I can manage on my own. History has proven otherwise and I have learned I need the meds. Even when I think i don't I do. My hubby is Schizophrenic and is horrible about taking his meds. I had to threaten to get a divorce if he didn't start taking them right. If he even misses two days I know because of how he starts acting. He doesn't see it but everyone else does. I truly wish you luck on going off your meds if that is what you want to do. hopefully you have better luck than us. I'm at work and know how tired you can get on 3rds. I work by myself so sometimes I feel tired and isolated not a good combination. good luck on your new job

[noneedtoknow]

Originally Posted by Raindropvampire

I don't know what your diagnosis is but mine is BP. Logically I know it is a chemical imbalance in my brain that will never go away on its own. Emotionally I get tired of taking so many meds and get in periods of not wanting to take them because I think I can manage on my own. History has proven otherwise and I have learned I need the meds. Even when I think i don't I do. My hubby is Schizophrenic and is horrible about taking his meds. I had to threaten to get a divorce if he didn't start taking them right. If he even misses two days I know because of how he starts acting. He doesn't see it but everyone else does. I truly wish you luck on going off your meds if that is what you want to do. hopefully you have better luck than us. I'm at work and know how tired you can get on 3rds. I work by myself so sometimes I feel tired and isolated not a good combination. good luck on your new job

Right now I don't want to stop my meds. I just took ALL of them. Because right now, I am tired of fighting, and being in this place. If this is part of my dignosis and why I take meds, ok then for now I am willing to do this. The problem is when I feel better, when I am not goin down the spiral. But for right now, today, I am willing. Thank you for replying. I appreciate it alot. Just knowing there is someone out there....

[noneedtoknow]

Originally Posted by TheByzantine

Hello, noneedtoknow. My suggestion is for you to print a copy of your post for your doctor. Is seems you and your treatment team need to mutually ascertain what the treatment goals are and formulate steps to attain them.

Well B,
Thank you for taking the time to read and to reply to my thread. I guess we have talked about the problems I have being so resistant to my diagnosis/meds but we havn't said specifically what are the goals of treatment. Stabilitiy I guess. Good thought.

[Raindropvampire]

Taking them when we feel better is always the hardest part. You feel better so you must be better. Right? If you're better than why take the meds? At least that was always my thinking everytime I went off them And there is someone out here who also knows how hard it is. I fought with my diagnosis for about 10 years before I came to terms. now it's just part of who I am so why fight it? Everyone I know knows about it because I still have bad "episodes" every now and then but I refuse to be ashamed of it anymore. I refuse to fight about it anymore. I just embraced it and accepted myself for being me. Hope you get there too
Ps I'm on thru out the night because I get bored here all by myself. sometimes I actually have to do work but most of it is paperwork. I do that and check in here. So if you need a reminder that someone else is up and you're not alone holler and I'll answer

[Open Eyes]

You may be feeling better because of the medication needtoknow, and that can happen, your chemistry can come into balance and then you think you don't need the medication anymore. So it is not unusual to think you are now ok and decide to stop the medication, which can last for a bit and then as you describe you can spiral down. But not to feel bad, you just discovered you just may need to stay on the medication.

My therapist battles depression, he told me that while he was on medication he felt better for a while and thought perhaps he may be able to stop. Well, it wasn't long before he spireled down and had to return to the medication. So your not alone in that, there can be a question or idea that if you are feeling better you may not need the medication, that can be common and even a therpist can think that.

Your trying and learning as you go. I checked your profile, if you are working in the emergency room, thats very draining, I had a friend that did that and she ended up doing her five years and changing out of that area.

I hope you find a way to balance out and get a better handle on what the best choices are that truely improve your condition.

Open Eyes

[noneedtoknow]

I am leaving today to travel to my job
I feel somewhat crappy-emotional hangover from yesterday I am sure. I feel tired of all of this-in a way that is a good thing, I am not fighting took my med this am. I just want to be done. Thank you everyone that has read/written. It helps to think that there are a few out there who know, understand. Thanks for sharing your experiences. Hope you all have a good day.

[likewater]

Congrats on your job. I don't want to tell you what to do or what not to do. You can always try going off meds if that's what you truly
want. I personally, do better on medicine. But you can always go back on it, if you stop. Ultimately, you have to feel on control of your treatment. Hugs to you. I wish you better days.

[noneedtoknow]

Thank you to everyone who read/replied. I appreciate it very much and hope wellness and happiness to you all!