Terrible day

Today has been terrible for me. Sigh
First off the exam I knew i was gone fluke i did fluke.
Actuelly i could fill in more then i knew... More then i expected to but it's to little and i doub if some of it is correct.
I allready felt terrible after that then came the toughts and talks about the other courses like math and others witch are for next exams (a month from now) and it all seems very hopless...

I got thinking on the bus and this guy he walked over when i was sitting and waiting for the bus and then got on the bus and got off again before the bus left... No idea what he was doing there anyway... I didn't trust that so odd.
I got thinking and i don't know i felt so at lost... I mean like 3 years ago we did a logics test in school and I was one of the best of my class... Now it seems like all the logic has left me... I need to read pages 3 to 6 times before i understand what it says and stuff like that...
I feel as if this all is somehow so unimportant... I've gotto do something... Something bigger. Like i've been missing my faith... Yet i don't know what it is...
I feel so darn frustrated about everything... It's like in powerslave... has anybody heart that song? Anyway i'm refering to the line were a God asks himself why he can't stop himself from dying since he's a God and all. I'n not a God but i'm a smart person... well smart as in not dumber then most... And yet i still feel like i can't make this whole year turn to the good. I should be able to do something about it but i can't and it's really frustrating...
All this time on the bus i've tought that... When i got off i noticed that 2 people got on and went passed and in front of me without me even noticing...

Then i got home... mum means well you know but she just doesn't understand school things...

i just feel so bad now the last thing i want is to talk to people... Type yea but talk nah...

UpTheAces, I'm so sorry you had a bad day and that you have all these thoughts running through your head. Seems very confusing and frustrating. I hope you have a better day tomorrow. PM me anytime you need someone to talk to if you'd like. Take care.

Jenn

thanks... yea it is very frustrzating... i feel and actuelly i'm sure that nobody understands me or the things going trough my mind.
I think mum is watching me too...

There are plenty of people here that understand what you are going through. Keep posting as much as you need. And we'll do whatever we can to help you. It's good to see that you can at least talk (type) about your problems. Give us the chance to help you, ok?

Jenn

Nah i can't i feel like i have to get away from here stop bothering people... Trust me there are things i can't type out because i'll know nobody will understand the fact i'm aware of them is because i know this... anyway i think i just need to go to sleep or something... mayby watch a movie... get rid off all the stress... Then it's okay you know but once the stress kicks in everything else follows...

I assure you that you're not bothering anyone. This is a place you can come for support. Maybe taking a nap or watching a movie will take your stress level down. Do you see a psychiatrist or a therapist.... a councelor maybe? If not, then you should seriously consider it. But until then we are here for you!! Don't think you are bothering anyone, ok? Just take care of you for now... you DO deserve it, ya know?

Jenn

Yea but the reason i feel like i'm bothering everyone has got to do with the awser to your next question...
No i'm not and i can't or won't in the near future...
won't because there's nothing wrong... I just had a lousy exam and i'm pritty sensetive to stress that's all...
can't because of the current family around here... There great people and very supportive if needed and all but mum whould make a big deal out of it... and i maight nearly kill grandmum... or even wurse actuelly kill...

I deserve it allright but i should be doing math soon... today is my day of from the exams since the next one isn't in a while and it's duoable to miss a day but i should do math because i'm allready behind on lessons and exercises because of exams and projects..

Lessons suck anyway... just people reading your study book out loud.... i find them very boring always have found that... I used to sleep during the theory of Java and wake up and make the excercies :s

I relise i'm reply on myself right now but what the heck...
I'm unstressed and feeling somewhat better now...
I'm thinking about going to talk to the student guiding about the learning... See if i can get any tips or hear what they say... I defently don't want to quite i'm just at loss as how i can move forward best now and all...

Anyway thanks for the help... you've been to kind, everybody i've talked to upto now...