Mean people suck

I do my job to the best of my ability. It's hard, tiring, and I have to deal with the people day in and day out. Considering I'm more of a private person, aka. not quite a people person, I think I do a pretty goo job for the most part. But I hate when people go out of there way to be rude and snobby. Or when you're simply being friendly and say hi how are you today, and they go, "Good, how are YOU?" and say it all snobby like why am I even asking them, I must be mental. Or they simply don't say anything and avert their eyes like a crazy person with a weird look on their face. Whatever, and you think I'm the one with problems. Ugh! People are such a holes sometimes. MOst people are friendly enough and yes, and there are nice people that I talk more with or are more friendly in general, but it's always the rude and mean ones I remember at the end of the day. Ugh, I can't wait until Wednesday, I wish today was tomorrow already so I could begin my Friday.

Sorry your had a bad day. Yes some people are not very nice, but just remember that people who are not nice are not happy people. It isn't you, it is them. And as far as the rolling eyes, that isn't you either, they are just expressing their misery and how much they just want to hold onto it.

Whatever you do, just do your best and enjoy yourself and your abilities to get things done. Don't dwell on the miserable people IRL, remember, misery loves company, so don't allow them another thought at the end of the day, that is allowing yourself to share their misery. Do leave them with their misery, their issue, not yours.

(((((HUGS)))))

Open Eyes

I'm sorry today was so crummy for you.

I usually figure someone or something pissed them off before they got to me. I think that's probably true, too! At least it helps me not to take any ownership of their despicable behavior.

I'll think of you tomorrow wishing for a good day.

I agree, mean people suck! I also agree with Open Eyes and Notz that it's generally cranky people spewing their crankiness all over and has nothing to do with you.

I'm glad you mostly have positive interactions with others...hold on to those moments and maybe try to revisit them whenever the crankies get you down.

(((Daisy)))

(((Daisy))) i work in customer service, and i think people get nastier around holidays. They get stressed out. Sorry ypu had a crummy day. People are ding dongs sometimes.

If you are going to greet and try to talk to people like that, make it a game for yourself; keep score, vary your greeting and see if you can get them to respond some other way Not necessarily because you "care" but to make it a bit fun; they being somewhat predictable in their ugly behavior?

Oh Geez- The nastiness of greeting people at a "yob"... I have known it all so well- Ya know the ones that out right ignore ya when you are pleasant are ones that tick me off- i think a little more than the nasty ones- due to the nasty ones I can see as having a bad day and someone pissed in their cheerios but the ignoring ones- geez I feel some days I could slap them over the head and be like "Did you get that?? Why hello there! How are you today "

But I too like, LikeWater, can tend to see a pattern with some of these people, if it holidays or just before the holidays- some get more so meaner than others or at different times of the years.

I agree with Open Eyes and Notz- most of the times the meanies are having issue with something or with in themselves.

And yeah Jitterz they do suck- they can bring someone down in a crab apple mood for a minute

Perna- LOL I like that idea to make a game out of it-- LOL....

IDK about you all but some days I can brush these people off and other days I take it way to personal like WTF is your issue with me-- or I can not accept that perhaps maybe they did not hear me or was too focused on something else-- sigh

Disappointed Daisy I hope you better days!!!

(((((((((((( Daisy ))))))))))))

oh dear, customer services takes strength and patience. You must have both in abundance likewater..
((((daisy)))) open is right about other people dumping their own crap on you to make them feel better about them self's.
Narcassistic (i spelled that wrong..lol) people tend to be like that. Don't let them bring you down daisy.

You are right though...Mean People Do Suck (they are probably the most up-tight though).

Mean people do suck! I always look at it as...Boy I sure wouldn't want to live in their hateful miserable life! Another thing I do is kill them with kindness! I am working retail and this time of year you get some real angry people! Saying Have a nice day really makes them mad! ha ha!

I work in tech support and deal with the nastiest, angriest people in the world. I am basically a punching bag for 8 hours a day, getting screamed at, sworn at, hung up on, and treated like an idiot. All my calls are recorded so I have to be super nice and just eat all the crap they throw at me with a smile. Every time that phone rings I cringe because I know it's going to be another horrible argument about something I cannot control (their poor internet access for example), or dealing with an 80 year old who cannot even figure out how to turn the computer on. I am mentally exhausted every day, my blood pressure is sky high, I have an ulcer, and I'm on Xanax. All because of dealing with nasty, angry people. This career has turned me into a bitter and hateful person and I don't want to socialize with anyone anymore. I just don't understand why people are so MEAN.

I really need to find a new job but have been trying for 2 years and getting nowhere. (I applied for a job today that already had 120 applicants, so I doubt they will be calling me back.)

I've worked retail/customer service almost all my life (I'm 55). It's only been about the last 3 years that I've been out of it. I know what ya'll are talking about. Been there done that, wore the t-shirt and threw it out! LOL

One of the things I learned early on in my retail career was to take each customer one at a time and then move on to the next. No matter what mood or how mean one customer would be to me, I would look around at the faces of the other customers and could see the disgust or how they couldn't believe how that customer had acted towards me. That helped me to feel a bit better by knowing that it wasn't me that set them off, they were like that when they came in. No matter what mood they were in, I would always treat them with kindness and a smile. I figured I was the goodwill ambassador for my employer. If someone gave me a real hard time, I would ask very nicely, if they would like to speak with my manager about their problem. Usually that would stop them in their tracks (not always) and they would think about things for a moment. Many times I would get an apology from the customer and to be honest, some of them didn't even realize they were being mean and nasty. Some of them of course, didn't give a crap. LOL

The thing is, there is no telling why someone is acting mean. We don't live their lives. They could have lost a loved one the night before. They could have found out they have cancer and only so long to live. They may have forgot to put their big boy or big girl pants on that morning. We just don't know. If I look at mean people in those terms, it's much easier for me to handle their attitude and not let it affect me for the rest of the day. I actually end up feeling a bit sorry for them....no anger, just a little sorrow.

I know, for me, with handling each customer individually, I would take a few cleansing breathes, if needed after a mean person, and go on about my job. It really helped me to do that.

I know people can be crappy sometimes. Retail/CSR's get the brunt of the attitudes. I hope you can find a way to remember the nice ones, the smiles and the goodwill that is out there with most people especially during this time of year. Even though stressors are high during the holidays, there are many with good manners and attitudes!

Wishing you well!

Yeah, mean people suck. My job has always been stressful simply because of the sheer volume of work and the deadlines. It's bearable because of the great people I work with. Then along came this woman two years ago. At first she was great: strong work ethic, funny, smart, got things done. When the manager of her department was fired and she was promoted, her true colors started showing. She's a *****. I mean nasty and aggressive, not assertive. She acts super nice to her external clients but is often horrible to many of her internal clients (colleagues at work). She says that being a ***** is an effective way to get things done. Sure, many people here have petty feuds with each other from time to time, by this woman takes it to a whole new level. She holds grudges, uses personal information against you and will fling you under the bus at every opportunity. She inspires people in other departments to be *****y right back to her. I have had to be hyper-vigilant to defend my reputation and my work since she became a manager. I have aged so much since she became a manager. I find the stress of dealing with her makes me less productive and accurate at work. And she isn't even my boss! I have to work closely with her. If she treated her external clients the same way as her internal clients, she wouldn't have a job! I don't know why she's still here. I really wish she would be fired. We need a grown-up in her position!

I'm not normally a vindictive person, but I sure am now!

I'm looking for ways to change my emotional response to her meanness in order to preserve my mental health. I'm one of those Highly Sensitive People. So, yeah, I totally relate to your grievances with mean people.

i know i dont mean to be mean, but sometimes it comes out anyway. =/

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((DespondentDaisy)))))))))))))))))))))) That's so hard when one has to take the brunt of other people's emotions and I'm sorry you are having to deal with that.

I've noticed this year seems even worse than last year (and I thought last year was bad), with driving and how they treat people in the stores, etc.

I think this time of year is very hard on people. I bet a lot wish they could just skip the holidays but can't. And so they might resent that they are obligated to shop with money they don't have for a holiday that is going to be more stressful than enjoyable. It doesn't make their attitudes any better but more understandable maybe.

I remember when things were really over the top in my life and I wasn't in a safe place to let any type of emotion out. I know I was snapping at a lot of innocent people. I regret it so much now but back then I just couldn't contain it. Some times I didn't even see it until much later and even when I could see it happening, it just bubbled out.

As people get awareness (if they actually do get it), they will realize how it affects others. Until then, all we can do is put some armour on and hold on tight, I think. Now I often find myself acting over the top nice to people out there because I just don't want to add to anyone else's day. Like sabby said, I don't know why they are acting like they are but there are usually reasons for it.

Life is tough. I hope you are able to get through the holidays and that you aren't too badly affected by the attitudes and actions of others. Take good care.

Geez, I hope you find a new job soon! That sounds real tough!

Vossie42: Gosh, I don't know if I could take all that@ I rememeber several years ago I worked in a real estate office and amid having a horrible vicious end to a close friendship (see my"I will not be undone" poem in creative corner) I also had to deal with a bully of a coworker and I just had no rest. I would be under stress at work and then come home to more stress. I give you props for sticking around so long, I definitely couldn't do it. I guess I'm a bit overly sensitive too.

I know where you're coming from, Daisy. I worked in customer service for a few years. I have dealt with angry, frustrated people. Those who swear. Most of them were easy in the end, and I enjoyed it a lot of the time, but two really stand out in my memory.

One called when systems were down, and her response was: "No! They can't be down! I want to shout at somebody!"

The other... I asked how she was, and she said: "Not very good." I paused, as usual, to allow her to get over that before I began calming her down, and in the space she said: "Ha! You weren't expecting that, were you?"

Now, I have a good sense for when someone is genuinely angry or just being plain nasty, and she was definitely the latter, so I put my schoolteacher hat on, because being soft with her would only make her worse. I said: "That's all right. I just won't ask you again."

She proved herself by spending the next few months of her personal time trying to get me sacked (it didn't work). Looking back, I'm glad I dealt with her the way I did. She was mean, uncivil and vicious, and really didn't deserve anyone to be nice to her.

Never let anyone trample on your self-respect.

I get triggered sometimes by comment sections under articles and pictures. The most recent one was a photo on a "humor" site that prompted a bunch of anti-fat sentiment. One of the nastiest commenters eventually told someone, "Shut up. You're fat. You have no say. Your opinion doesn't count." I'm editing out the illiteracy here. It was more like "ur fat u have no say..." etc.

It just hurts that people can be so outright cruel.

You are so right LovebirdsFlying...and being on the internet makes it even worse. Some how, when someone is sitting behind their screen, it's anonymous and people think it gives them the right to be disgustingly inhumane to others. So, when I've had to deal with those online as a CSR, I would picture in my head what this person looked like, and no, it wasn't flattering at all, but it made me giggle and I could deal much better that way.

That's a good technique. Kind of like visualizing them wearing a diaper or something?

People hate me quite easily. I don't know how to be close to a human, and humans don't seem to like me being close to them. I don't know what to do other than die alone.

It'll get better

(((((HUGS))))))

Boy! You guys are amazing to be able to deal with the things you all do in your jobs. I would crumble. Well I have crumbled under that kind of pressure and I still haven't gotten back up enough to go there again.

From the other side of the counter I can get pretty impatient. But only if I really feel the service is bad. Like the other day. I waited and waited at the counter listening to the clerks chatting about something not work related. I waited patiently for them to notice me but when the chatting was done they just seem to glide off in other directions. I finally asked politely if anyone was covering the counter. The response was 'yes, someone will be with you in a moment.' Well that ticked me off. They used up that moment with their chatting. My turn now. Before I let loose some rage on her I said under my breath. 'I don't have a moment' and I went down the street to another pharmacy.

I think generally customer services has dropped way way down and it has made some of us consumers bitter to say the least. I can't tell you how many times I have stood at a counter to pay for something and the clerks are too busy gabbing to even notice me. By then I am ticked and just want to get out of there as fast as I can before I make a fuss and embarrass myself and hurt someone else's feelings in the process.

It does make it really tough on those who do provide good customer service. It is too rare these days it seems. I empathize and I am sorry good people like yourselves get lumped into the mix and often get the short end of the stick. It isn't fair and it isn't right.

I hope for you that the days ahead will present you with some happy people who can appreciate you for what you are doing for them. We all need to practice patience and kindness. We race through life so fast we don't think enough about the storms we can leave in our wake. You have encouraged me to be more mindful and considerate to people who serve me. To leave behind a spirit of joy no matter what.

Yeah...I love the name of this thread...Its true too