[dazed_confused]

sorry i didn't know where to post this.


hello. i'm ashley.i'm 24 and im new to this forum i found by accident. i have been having these strange feelings for quite some time, i can't take it anymore. i have hid them for long because i'm embarrassed because i don't know how to describe them.
maybe someone can help me that knows what im talking about.
i feel as if im constantly in a dream,haze. Like im in a glass pane. it's strange. it's worse in public. I can see and hear people, and life going on around me, but i'm not part of it , im just observing it like im watching a movie of myself, just going through the motions, but i don't feel in control of my thoughts,words, or actions, it just flows out of me. because of this i can't think straight. i lose track of time, i have always had trouble remembering things, even simple instructions, because of this it's worse. i can't even complete simple things,like clean my house. i blank out and forget what im doing and lose track of time, i feel like im not here. my mother yells at me and says im just stupid and lazy or on dope because i dont finish things or forgot simple intsructions she ask me to do. but i know somethings wrong and can't describe it. so i sleep all day because im so afraid. i take forever even going to the store for a few things because i forget what i came for, i wander around like im in a haze,sometimes it feels like i can't feel my body because i feel lightheaded and my body feels light,like a dream and everything seems fuzzy, or sometimes too vivid. i know im not psycotic, but im just as scared. nothing seems real. I feel i'm observing myself in third person or something.
i don't even know how to even approach my therapist with this.
hopefully someone can give me a idea what might be going with me, and tell me i'm not a freak. my mother already thinks im whack job, so i can't tell her.
its affecting my ability to function at times. i feel detached from people and myself, i feel like i don't know myself or have control of myself. please help.

[porcupine2]

Hello Dazed......it sounds like there might be some dissociative issues going on. Definitely talk to your T about it, that's what they are there for. Sometimes we need grounding when we start to feel so removed from daily life. Good luck to you and please keep us posted!

[Dapsych]

It can be a dissociative issue such as depersonalization or derealization, maladaptive daydreaming or losing touch with reality. There must be something behind this though, send me a message on what's up, I would like to know more.

[dazed_confused]

hello. thank you for responding to my post. and for showing interest. as distressed as i am its good to know that someone at least may have idea what meant be going on.i probably should explained a little more. is there anything in particular you would like to know? i have been diagnosed with depression,anxiety and other medical issues. as far as what's behind it, i'm not sure, i have so much going on. i have dealt with emotional abuse all my life(even now) mostly from my mother. i grew up in a stressful household because my father abadoned me as a child, and my mother always took out her frustrations on me,still does. i had been having chronic pain issues for 3 years, which finally was diagnosed as fibromyalgia. endless tests came up negative, so nobody belived that i constantly hurt all over. i was accused of being a hypocondraic and lazy.that i was just making up excuses because im unable to work, which is also embarrassing beacause i live at home and can't support myself.
there is more to tell but i didn't want to bore you or overwhelm you in one post. but it feels good to vent to someone, because i don't have any friends, my family is all divided.. i have always struggled with social anxiety and have been a loner. is there anything else you would like to know? you've been most helpful already.

[gma45]

I hope you are feeling better. I think it would be a good idea to copy this and just give it to your T. Sounds like teenage years, you know you do need extra sleep. Diffidently talk to your T though.

[MsMesuggah]

I totally agree with the other posters. It sounds like "de-realization" or "de-personalization", part of the spectrum of "dissociative disorders. Please talk with your Pdoc (psychiatrist) or/and therapist if you have either. If you don't have either, please do seek medical advice !

I have had these experiences before and they can really be stumbling blocks to feeling healthy and grounded. Take care !

Shalom

[LylaJean]

You may want to explore PTSD symptoms, too. I don't know much about your past but sometimes feeling that distance from reality is a symptom of previous stress. PTSD really affects your mind and your memory, and also how you relate to events around you. It also goes hand in hand with anxiety and depression. Keep us posted.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by dazed_confused

sorry i didn't know where to post this.


hello. i'm ashley.i'm 24 and im new to this forum i found by accident. i have been having these strange feelings for quite some time, i can't take it anymore. i have hid them for long because i'm embarrassed because i don't know how to describe them.
maybe someone can help me that knows what im talking about.
i feel as if im constantly in a dream,haze. Like im in a glass pane. it's strange. it's worse in public. I can see and hear people, and life going on around me, but i'm not part of it , im just observing it like im watching a movie of myself, just going through the motions, but i don't feel in control of my thoughts,words, or actions, it just flows out of me. because of this i can't think straight. i lose track of time, i have always had trouble remembering things, even simple instructions, because of this it's worse. i can't even complete simple things,like clean my house. i blank out and forget what im doing and lose track of time, i feel like im not here. my mother yells at me and says im just stupid and lazy or on dope because i dont finish things or forgot simple intsructions she ask me to do. but i know somethings wrong and can't describe it. so i sleep all day because im so afraid. i take forever even going to the store for a few things because i forget what i came for, i wander around like im in a haze,sometimes it feels like i can't feel my body because i feel lightheaded and my body feels light,like a dream and everything seems fuzzy, or sometimes too vivid. i know im not psycotic, but im just as scared. nothing seems real. I feel i'm observing myself in third person or something.
i don't even know how to even approach my therapist with this.
hopefully someone can give me a idea what might be going with me, and tell me i'm not a freak. my mother already thinks im whack job, so i can't tell her.
its affecting my ability to function at times. i feel detached from people and myself, i feel like i don't know myself or have control of myself. please help.

Im sorry dazed and confused but it is you that must tell us what your problems are.

we cant tell you what your problems are because thats called making a diagnosis and we are not allowed to do that here.

what we do here is tell each other if we have had the same problems that you have had and we can tell you what our doctors told us it was for us.

I have gone through feeling like you have.

sometimes it happened with me because of -

an anxiety/panic attack
wrong medicine
too much medicine
not enough medicine
dissociation
anemia
dehydration
not eating the right way
not getting enough sleep.
getting drunk
smoking
high blood pressure
stress
Multiple Sclerosis/Parkinson's diseases/Muscular Dystrophy (I havent gone through all the tests yet to narrow it down any further.)

the treatment for what it was for me varied according to wha tit was. Sometimes medication took care of it, sometimes mental health therapy took care of it, sometimes physical therapy takes care of it.

that said if you google your symptoms you will find that what you are going through can be any mental disorder and any physical problem.

like I said we cant diagnose your problems. it is you that must tell us what your problems are called. to find out what your problems are called you need to talk with Doctors and psychiatrists and therapists in the area / off line where you live.

[dazed_confused]

Originally Posted by gma45

I hope you are feeling better. I think it would be a good idea to copy this and just give it to your T. Sounds like teenage years, you know you do need extra sleep. Diffidently talk to your T though.

thank u for the well wishes.
i'm not a teenager though, and all i do is sleep.

thank you guys all so much. i'll look into those. you've been most helpful already. i'll post more later. i have to go back to the Therapist the 10th anyways.

[Ipod1]

I know how your feeling, not a fun experience. I suffer some of the same things you do like memory and feeling completely weird. I guess it's depersonalization for me. Not sure but that's all I can relate too and anxiety stress and ocd. Hope you feel better! You're not alone.

[dazed_confused]

well, i wrote my symptoms down and showed them to the therapist. she said it's depersonalization for sure, but not sure what could be the cause is yet, which i understand not much can be solved in one visit.
i was a little annoyed she blamed it on my pain meds, when i specifically told her that this occurred before the meds. the meds are always blamed lol.
she thinks it could be medical, seizures maybe. she suggested i see a neuroligist, but i seen one last year and he said i was normal, ct's were normal, maybe i need a second opinion. my only option now i guess is to tell the psychiatrist and the regular doctor.
i also explained in every detail my symptoms, but she said i wasn't specific enough? geez. oh well, i'm on the diagnoses merry go-round again.
i like my therapist but i'm still getting frustrated and hating therapy, i explain every detail and i'm still not "specific enough" after 3 years of therapy with mulitple therapists,not going anywhere, i'm beginning to think it's a waste of time, at least for me, i don't know.

[kutta]

hi you have to do medotation that;s good for you

[porcupine2]

Originally Posted by dazed_confused

well, i wrote my symptoms down and showed them to the therapist. she said it's depersonalization for sure, but not sure what could be the cause is yet, which i understand not much can be solved in one visit.
i was a little annoyed she blamed it on my pain meds, when i specifically told her that this occurred before the meds. the meds are always blamed lol.
she thinks it could be medical, seizures maybe. she suggested i see a neuroligist, but i seen one last year and he said i was normal, ct's were normal, maybe i need a second opinion. my only option now i guess is to tell the psychiatrist and the regular doctor.
i also explained in every detail my symptoms, but she said i wasn't specific enough? geez. oh well, i'm on the diagnoses merry go-round again.
i like my therapist but i'm still getting frustrated and hating therapy, i explain every detail and i'm still not "specific enough" after 3 years of therapy with mulitple therapists,not going anywhere, i'm beginning to think it's a waste of time, at least for me, i don't know.

I think you are on the right track discussing this with your psychiatrist instead of your therapist. Therapists are not experts on drugs and their side effects. GP's aren't either. Your pdoc just might be the right person to get you off of the merry go round. Good luck to you!

[madisgram]

i like my therapist but i'm still getting frustrated and hating therapy, i explain every detail and i'm still not "specific enough" after 3 years of therapy with mulitple therapists,not going anywhere, i'm beginning to think it's a waste of time, at least for me, i don't know.

oh dazed and confused i do hope you continue therapy. it helped me tremendously and i know i lucked out on who i was seeing. he was a phd psychologist and used cbt.
i had an awful time of trusting and also getting in touch with my deepest feelings. he had me start to journal. i hated that was his suggestion. but i did it as asked and it opened up all those doors of feelings that i couldn't say. then we reviewed what i wrote each session. he taught me how to identify the things hindering my growth.
hope this may help.