[ydarb]

Hey guys, I found this site via Google.

Here's my deal:

I'm 22 am in college and have not been doing well at school at all. For anonymity's sake I won't say where I go to school just that it's an elite school and therefore very stressful and intensive. Since I've been here I developed a general apathy for everything but drinking and essentially being a bum. On the surface anyone that knows me probably thinks that I have everything I could want: high IQ, beautiful girlfriend, wealthy, supportive family etc. However, for my 3 years of college I've skipped more than 50% of my classes, done poorly in many of them and have failed to get involved in anything outside of the classroom. I've had the opportunity to run our finance club and another business society but failed to do the requisite work to take over. Likewise, I've put on a lot of weight and feel as if I have no discipline. Hell, I have a ton of reading for class tomorrow (classes that should interest me) but I couldn't get through the first page of the text. I have been prescribed medicine for ADHD but it rarely helps me read past the first couple pages. Likewise, when I start a diet I'll generally stop within a couple days. It just seems like I've lost a lot of confidence and become afraid of the world. I rarely take any sort of chance anymore and when coupled with ADHD and generally feeling down, things seem really lousy. I for the life of me can not figure out what is wrong. I really don't think I'm depressed; I think it's more of frustration in a bad situation. I've spoken with therapists and doctors but still can't pinpoint why I don't take chances, am apathetic and struggle to do any work. Any advice or suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

[Raynaadi]

Hi ydarb and welcome to psychcentral. I would suggest browsing all the different forums and seeing if you can pinpoint any similarities with yourself and the people here and see what kind of suggestions you might get. Something you said stuck out with me, you said, "Since I've been here I developed a general apathy for everything but drinking and essentially being a bum." I've felt that way for sure....so PM me if like, and hope to see you posting more!

~Rayna

[Merlin]

I know you have said you aren't depressed, but some people present differently. Apathy is a huge sympthom of depression for me. I rarely get weepy so it's a big clue for me slipping into an episode. I may be wrong, but you might try investigating depression more as an option. Welcome here and I hope you enjoy it.

[DaveyJones]

Hey ydarb...

I have to agree with lightanddark...your symptoms sound a lot like depression...the apathy, lethargy, not caring for things you used to. The stress of trying to keep up at an elite university is plenty to bring on depression. You say you're being treated for ADHD...the combination of that and depression could suggest a form of bipolar...go talk to a doc, get a depression and a bipolar screening. Whatever you do, try to exercise, even though you don't want to. Keep us posted, OK? We're with you.

DJ

[ydarb]

Thanks for the input. I guess I laid out a littany of problems but the top one seems to be lethargy/confidence. I have four things outside of school I think about doing every day but never do:

1. Email a friend about taking over his role in our Finance Club
2. Email friend about a leadership role in the Entrepreneurship Club.
3. Conduct Market Analysis for a business venture I worked on over the summer with my friends
4. Write a thank you letter to a friend's dad for dinner the other night and ask him about an internship.

Everyday I obssess over these 4 things and never can go through with them. I guess it's consistent with bipolarity to have grandiose plans but not follow through. No 4 on my list could be very important as this guy is a big shot at an investment bank and thats the field I hope to work in.

I don't like the health services at my school and am not comfortable going there to talk to them about this. I would go off campus to do it but my parents would freak out if they thought something was wrong with me. Until things get better I'm going to just watch these opportunities fade away. Also, as per drinking, I've learned to control my drinking during the week. I can drink so it doesn't interfere with classes but it is still reckless. I've got a lot of stuff wrong with me it seems. Thanks for the responses they were helpful.

[Merlin]

I just had one reaction that I wanted to share. The first thing that came to mind was maybe the idea of doing all four of your goals was overwhelming and that you're coping with that by doing nothing. How about you pick one goal, that you believe takes precdence, perhaps No 4, and then just put that as your goal for each day and perhaps just say you'll work at least 15 minutes on it that day? Is 15 minutes at that task something you could maybe do? You can worry about the other three goals once you've accomplished something.

As to sseing someone of campus, do your parents necessarly need to know? Could you go to a clinic with a sliding fee scale and explain your predicament if money is the factor that requires your parents input?

[ydarb]

Just a little update; part of what has been bothering me recently is my concerns with what im going to do this summer...i think im gonna work at a golf course and take summer classes. I'm trying to make connections to get a job in investment banking. so caddying at a rich club in NJ would be perfect. Does anyone have any advice on how to network