[Switch]

I have talked about my ex gf/current room mate before, so some of you might know a bit about her by now. Right now, I just can't stop thinking about how much she doesn't understand mental health.

We're both on a MMORPG together, me very slightly, and her fairly involved with the community. She's joined an "alliance" in it, where as I haven't. Apparently one of the people in her alliance started sending mass emails to the rest of the group saying that she was leaving because she was going to kill herself, and that she was going through some really hard stuff and was crying and stuff... and her reaction to it made me want to throw up!

She sounded just like one of those a**holes who encourage people to commit suicide as a joke. She was like "I don't know why she needs to do it! It was so stupid, I just told her to f**k off and stop wasting my time, and if she wanted to kill herself so bad, get a f**king therapist." And I was shocked. I don't think she noticed my reaction, but I was trying not to say "I could have done that".

I'm not saying that I'm the type of person to mass email people that I'm going to kill myself, but I understand the place, and the desperation, and the cry for help.

I don't know how people can be so insensitive! Even if you've never been there, I don't understand how someone can't feel an ounce of compassion towards someone who is hurting. I'm not saying she should have talked to her or whatever, but I at least expected some form of sympathy. Even just a "I hope she's okay" and then moving on.

Has anyone run into people like my room mate, who get mad at you and push you (harshly) away even if your show of mental health issues was small and not directed at them. I've heard her talk about how she doesn't care if someone has mental health issues as long as they don't use it as an excuse.

I'm just really hurt by this, and I wish I could open up to my room mate but she hates any form of mental health discussion being brought up, and that's my life right now. I don't know how to talk to her, or even if I should. I can't leave, and she is still my friend, but I'm just so devastated.

I feel as if I came out of the closet to a friend, they said that's okay, and just as I'm getting comfortable with it and wanting to talk about some stuff I've been going through, I overhear a conversation where their queer-bashing someone. That didn't actually happen, but that sort of feeling is where I'm at.

[unaluna]

Wow, now you know why I use humor as a defense. I'd be like, "Bully much?" or "Who died and made you Emily Post - oh yeah, that girl"

[gma45]

Those are the one's you look at and just think to yourself ----Karma will get you someday for being so insensitive!

[roads]

Switch, I'm sorry you've been so upset by this. You've talked about your roommate before, though. There have been many things in the past you've liked about her, and I suspect that caused you to overlook some of her less generous characteristics.

It might be easier for (& on) you to move on to other people than to try to figure out this one. Some people don't connect with others, & she seems firmly planted among them.

[Switch]

Originally Posted by Roadie

Switch, I'm sorry you've been so upset by this. You've talked about your roommate before, though. There have been many things in the past you've liked about her, and I suspect that caused you to overlook some of her less generous characteristics.

It might be easier for (& on) you to move on to other people than to try to figure out this one. Some people don't connect with others, & she seems firmly planted among them.

I think you're right Roadie, I need to stop trying to fix her, and stop bowing down to her, and letting her affect me like this. It's going to be hard because we are still friends, and she still means a lot to me - and so does her approval - and I can't move out till August (when I'm moving anyway).

I think you've pointed out some things to me that I need to start listening to, and a lot of it revolves around my room mate. I'm going to make an effort to stop letting the bad things about her hurt me as much as they do...

At least I think that's what you were saying?

[Open Eyes]

((((Switch)))))

Yes, you need to stop trying to fix this person. "Insensitive" is an accurate discription of her because the truth is that she has no idea what it means to struggle with some kind of MI. And forget prizing any of her opinions of you because she will never truely appreciate you for what you really are. No, she is definitely not going to see how much you have overcome in your own struggles. She is not seeing a reality here and she is being much to judgemental.

I am sure that some of her capacities have impressed you and may have even inspired you but you have to realize that she may be a strong person because somehow she got what she needed growing up, lots of encouragement and adorations for her achievements. But that doesn't mean she is truely strong. This kind of person may truely not fair well if put into a situation that blew a hole in her illusions leaving her helpless in some way. Her view of mental illness is really skewed in my opinion.

Her behavior towards that person trying to reach out for help is apauling and a sign of extreme ignorance. It also reminds me of all these bad comments that I read when someone succombs to some kind of mental illness that happens to be a celebrity of some kind. And it also reminds me of the people who fail to appreciate the struggles that vets truely have when they come home and are sticken with PTSD or even the police officers that put some much more on the line than the average person simply is too ignorant to see or respect.

This is not a person that you should even consider valuing her opinions and judgements of you. She is way to shallow and ignorant for that.

I think that you should refrain from any more efforts to interact with her in any relation to mental health issues. It is never going to amount to anything rewarding in any possible way. And to be honest, this kind of person is very toxic to anyone who suffers from any kind of mental health issues.

This has nothing to do with your worth at all, and she is simply not capable of recognizing your worth anyway. I think that she is only considering her own self worth anyway. Do not service her, it will never be appreciated, she doesn't have the capacity. That is what she shows you in her responses. Even if she does have some of her own issues, her distaste and assumption that others should just get over it like she does is being selfish.

(((((Open Eyes)))))