[inkblot]

I could have used you all last night. I saw a guy beating on his kid--or who I assume was his kid. It was a teenage boy about 16 or 17 years old in the backseat of their car. There was a woman in the front passenger seat staring blankly straight ahead, obviously trying to block what was happening. The guy saw me watching as he got back into his car. We certainly don't know each other. But I did get the guys license plate number. I could have used some help on what to do with it. It's so different. Last night I knew the right thing to do, and I wanted to do it, but I didn't know how. It didn't feel right. For so long in my own life, I learned to shut up and put up with that kind of stuff.

I did call DCFS hotline number to inquire about what I saw, and instead of taking a confidential/anonymous report for them to investigate, the person decided it was more urgent and that I needed to get the police. Yikes! NOT what I wanted! I so so so so so SO did not know what to do! I was/am so afraid of being emotional and my emotions with this stuff--I have PTSD history because of abuses to me--that I have wanted to keep conversation about what I saw not so direct and in person and everything.

I eventually went online on my phone and started Googling the police department. I had a lot of trouble navigating and even accessing the websites on my phone because of the type of code they use not very compatable with either of my browsers. I found the address to the police department and drove there-AROUND the block by the building. I drove down a mile maybe and sat in a shopping center parking lot for several hours Googling the police department some more. I had a lot of trouble with their website, but finally came across a couple of email addresses for various Chiefs-of-something there and emailed one of them. It was after 2am by this point.

I got an email back while I was in the shower this morning. Of course
they wanted to talk to me. I received a seperate email telling me a file number. I called and talked to him a while later. He said that a few detectives will be calling me--it sounds like several times and keeping in regular contact til the end of the investigation and final outcome. Hopefully this all won't be too complicated. I am still very afraid of emotions with this. I left my T a voice mail last night and more this morning. I even left my daughter's T a voice mail. I emailed several people (most multiple times). Right now I am going on about two hours sleep. With my new work schedule (and I still don't exactly like the dang job), I'm not getting to see my T as much. His voice mail is suffering because of this. Especially the past 24-hours. In fact, as I look at the time, it happened 24-hours and 10-munutes ago.

[Rapunzel]

Inky, that's a hard decision and you did the right thing by calling. I understand it being rough on you, and I would struggle with it too. I can't figure out what's worth reporting and what isn't because of my mixed up experiences, such as that the police didn't think that it was worth doing anything when someone beat me up and broke my nose (someone at work last summer). And I can relate to that mother in the car, as I dissociate like that when my husband criticises and yells at our kids. I'm not strong enough yet to stop him, but I'm reacting more visibly and he's able to see that it hurts me, although he still tells me the kids understand it. Anyway, I'm sorry you are having a rough time, and I hope that things change for the better, for the family you saw as well as for you.

Rap

[bebop]

trust me hon you did the right thing. too many kids have this happen as you know and no one takes up for them. I wish when I was growing up there had been the child abuse laws we have now. you did a good deed!

[Maven]

I understand that's a rough situation, but calling the cops is the right thing to do. That kid needed immediate help.

And Rap, it's not ok for your husband to criticize your kids. My sister's husband called his grandson stupid and ridiculed him for crying (he was 11). That boy now has serious anger problems, has been in trouble with the law, has been shuffled around homes, has run away twice from the program he's in now, and has been on drugs. His sister has similar problems. They also came from previous problems, including too-young parents who did drugs (I'm pretty sure both did; I know the mother did), a father who abandoned them, a mother who died of cancer, being shuffled around before they came to my sister, and other problems. My sister's health is very bad, and she couldn't deal with their problems. One has ADD and the other has ADHD.

I know personally how being called stupid and other names affects a person. I am a victim.

[eskielover]

Inky,

You did a wonderful thing.....I am sure looking back at your own life, it would have been great to have had someone recognize what you were going through & get help to stop the abuse you went through.

It was probably your experience that allowed you to recognize what was going on. I have had the feeling that sometimes the things we have gone through are put there in order for us to help others in the similar situations.

I know how difficult it is to deal with the police. When the police came to my mothers home accusing me of abusing her, questioning me rudely for over 2 hours, I have had a problem dealing with them since then. I had talked to the social workers in the hospital & we both filed a report with the elderly abuse people. They suggested that I make a report with the police so the next day I pushed myself to go to the police department ito report the RN's stealing my Mothers ID let alone all the other things she did. I was afraid to even drive my car there....wondering in my mind what she might do to stop me. Then when I was about at the police station I recognized her in the car behind me. Unfortunately, I have since found out that the police didn't have enough evidence to get her with even though the name on one of the checks that was written was to her alias. In my mind I feel the necessity for getting her & others like her....hoping that my experience will be passed on so that others may be aware that things like this don't just happen to the rich or famous, but also to lower middle class people who have what looks like nothing much to their name.....except for the jewelry she also stole from the house.....which couldn't be found.

I know how rough it is to talk to the police, but it is a wonderful thing for you to go to them & help them stop these kind of things from happening to this person....hopefully they can put your information together with other things & not let this guy continue what he has been doing.

You did & are doing a very wonderful thing to help stop this kind of treatment,
Debbie