[hillbunnyb]

With all the recent gut wrenching, trust challenging posts flying around this past week, I took a time out to meditate on the bigger picture, the dynamics without the personalities, to see if any patterns popped up matching past experiences in my life.

First thought to examine was about the place I call "opposites". When I am so shorted out that I do or say the exact opposite of what I mean to do or say. (I try to stay very close to home during these times.)

The second set of identifiable features I recognized, was the thing that happens when someone with low self esteem, is in a major stressed out situation--really on the brink of disaster--and just in the nick of time somebody actually notices them and hears them and responds with support, (not to mention a whole group of (PC) people giving a poo...), well, it's like too much, too much recognition? Attention? Caring? I don't know which too much, but, just when outsiders think the situation is under control and start to expect the recipient to start to relax, Well, the being a recipient thing can up the freak on the recipient's already over stressed nervous system. This "final" short acts them out to prove themselves unworthy of all the recently received good vibes.... . The strike out is a limbic reaction rather than a rational thought line. (Though, of course, raionalization then sets in to make the act "justified" in the garble of a freaked head.)

Though we were hit personally, it wasn't personal. Our fragilities take many forms on many days. Wake Up Calls are are great moments for opportunity. We can become a wiser, stronger, more aware circle of supportive friends who have now seriously gone through some poo together--this isn't just a story, this is us. Everything matters. Peace in every step.

[SeptemberMorn]

Great post! This is the part I liked the most!

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Our fragilities take many forms on many days. Wake Up Calls are are great moments for opportunity. We can become a wiser, stronger, more aware circle of supportive friends who have now seriously gone through some poo together--this isn't just a story, this is us.

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[(JD)]

I see patterns to nearly all of us here... not stereotyping, but known and understandable psychological patterning. I would hope my saying that would help everyone know that they fit in here! No, none of us is just like another, but we do fit into categories. AND those categories that we fall into are different, like you suggested bunny, depending... it isn't one way always, imo.

Most of us have a certain response to implied impending doom. So we fit into that group that responds similarly. But, each of us replies a certain way in most of our posting. That puts us into a group that replies that way. (It might not be the same "group" as the first one mentioned.)

Let me try and say it clearer. When you read a "different" post... can't you sit back and think...well if (insert member name) replies she/he will probably say... and (insert member name) would more likely say.... RIGHT? I mean, we do get to know each other and how we feel and post about certain topics. It's part of our personality at PC!

Don't we also, when we see a new topic, PM another and say, Hey, go read and post on ... such and such??? Because we want their type of information/posting to be added! It's a good thing, imo!

Likewise, when we see a post or thread (or even member) that is going "south," we might PM or chat with someone, saying, leave that one alone... the mods need to handle it... or hey, (insert member name) really needs some support over in the xx thread.

I think it's when one of us steps OUT of our normal "pattern" that might upset another here. Sometimes it is a way to realize WHOA that member is struggling...or WOW that member is having a really good day Members here get used to the patterns...and some are highly emotionally affected when change occurs.

Good thread, btw!!!

[hillbunnyb]

Septy and Sky, yo. this is hard work. Communication is an art.
Healing our greatest adventure. We have to create our own grub stakes since our families "fell short" on preparing us for life-- to say the least..,. Just finding folks willing to hook up and go through the learning how to take care of ourselves rollercoaster of trial and error....... which means we might screw up and hurt each other by accident, and we have to add learning to deal with that....It all takes a lot of forgiveness, faith, courage and committment. Of ourselves and each other. Whew, like I said, HARD WORK. (That thumping you heard was me and the bunns wondering if anybody was out there...)

[nothemama8]

Great thread, I'm sooooo greatful that ppl here care enough to alert each other in pm to different situations so "we" don't get triggered and I too shall continue to alert others so we maintain a peaceful community, all of us are here for support not to harm

[January]

(((((((((( Bunny )))))))))))))

You never cease to amaze me. Thank you for a wonderful post.

Hugs,

Jan

[desirae]

Amen!!....I agree 100%...awesome posts, and it was said very well. Thank you!

[Fuzzybear]

Great post!! )))))) Bunny ((((((

[hillbunnyb]

Desirae and Fuzzy, you know, this being human stuff is hard work. One of the things i've learned is we can't treat anybody else any differenly than we treat ourselves. If we manipulate others, we manipulate ourselves, everything is a revelation on inner workings..... until we take judgement off it, we'll never be able to look at it. So, in my book self forgiveness (coupled with committment to knock it off, watever it is....) is key. If we can't forgive ourselves, we don't even know what forgiveness is. Once we wrench ourseves out of negative self patterns, the rest is much easier to even contemplate let alone pull off. Especially dealing with betrayal and boundaries and trust. I'm amazed by how fluid it can become once you get started. And if you have good support and friends to practice with. The process gets greased. But, I must admit, it's NEVER easy. Just easier. And processes more quikly. And feels good to do. The first time someone suggested I forgive myself for choosing this troublesome existance, I was stunned by the concept. Oh, all the while before I had spent my forgiveness chits on forgiving my father for being a sadistic, mysogynist, pedophile and my mother for being oblivious to me because she was already in way over her head. Forgive my self???? Manomanoman, that was the real booger. But, after 25 years of practicing, I feel it to be the keystone on our path to healing.