[Greenleaves]

Sometimes things happen that upset us, even if the thing wasn't intended to upset anyone.

These feeling are horrible and can lead to more hurts.

I experienced this recently for a while. Now thankfully it is gone. I'm okay with things again. The world makes sense again.

But...what to do when I'm in the moment of being upset? How to self soothe?

I'm thinking distraction might be a good way to deal with things if the feelings are too intense. Usually distraction helps me a lot.

Reminding me of things I'm looking forward to or that make me happy lessens the upset I feel.

What are some of the ways you cope when you're upset? How do they work for you?

[LMo]

running, yoga, bike riding, rhythmic breathing.

and french fries.

[Greenleaves]

The bike riding looks doable to me.

French fries...never heard of that one! LOL

I have many ways to mention a few -

1. Take a bubble bath

2. listen to music

3. write poetry and journal writing

4. call a friend

5. read a book

6. Work in the courage to heal text and workbook
(and other workbooks) on the exercises related to
what is going on

7. squish and mold playdough and modeling clays

8. Create a project to fit the problem

9. watch a movie

10. take a walk

11. bike it off

12. feed the ducks at a near by foot bridge

13. email friends

14. talk on instant messenger to friends

15. play on line games

16 read posts and threads at my various on line
support groups

17. help others

18. call my therapist

19. If I cannot wait for therapist to get out of sessions
and call me back I call and let the receptionist
know I am on my way in and to let my therapist
know then I wait there for how ever long it takes to
get in to see my therapist.

20. Call my "back up therapist" if my therapist is
unable to see me due to vacations, illness or
just a too full schedule.

21. Call a local crisis center hotline

22. go to a local crisis center that has biweekly groups

23. go to the local ER or after hours clinic

24. Call my primary physician (or after hours clinic
depending on the time)

25. Do jigsaw puzzles

The list goes on.....

Yes they are all very helpful.

[Lexicon78]

Positive? Hmm...well I'll try my best!

1. Journaling
2. Watching horror movies (they're the only thing that relax me for some reason)
3. Getting online and connecting with others
4. Reading
5. Researching anything that interests me
6. Having sex....I know I'm so bad!!!!
7. Taking a nap...sleep always seems to cheer me up
8. Calling a friend or my dad
9. Emailing or messaging my supports that are online
10. Praying to the Goddess (Nephthys)
11. Studying stuff
12. Watching documentaries
13. Cleaning
14. Taking a shower
15. Shaving my legs (always helps when I want to cut)

And probably a thousand other things!

[Rhapsody]

WALK, TALK (or) WRITE...... it out.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[Maven]

I like Lex's idea of having sex, but I want someone to have it with, LOL! Also, Lex, who is the Goddess Nephthys? I'm not familiar with many gods and goddesses, but I do like to learn.

I like to work it out in my head, at least for a little bit. It helps to get some of those feelings out. I cry if I need to.

After expressing my feelings (even just to myself), I agree with what everyone else says, including yourself: Distractions are good.

Reading is one of my favorites. I have more than enough books, so not only does reading get my mind off things, but it helps me reduce my TBR list.

Watching TV or movies helps, too. Mindless comedies are good. I like things that won't stir my emotions (at least anything that will make me cry--even if it's for a positive reason--or get angry) at that time. I'm also with Lex about horror movies, even though comedies also work for me. I love horror!

I watch documentaries, too, although they don't generally cheer me up. Still, they might get my mind off things, so I feel better. I just watched a documentary a little while ago on Showtime OnDemand called "Unbreakable Minds," about three invidivuals with mental illness (two with schizophrenia, one with OCD), filmed over three years. It wasn't bad.

Chatting with friends online. In that case, I'm still working out feelings, assuming I'm talking about the problem. It may be a live chat, or emailing to a discussion list, or posting on a message board. That's a good way to get my feelings out. Then I go on to other, hopefully more cheerful, topics. I also post my problems to my blog.

I entertain my bf's bird. Often, he'll start making sounds, or I'll just look at him and he'll perk up and start dancing, and then I start making sounds back and talking to him, and then I'm singing and we're entertaining each other. Animals are great. I'd love to have a dog, but I love our bird. I use to have a wonderful dog who, when I'd be crying, she'd come over to me and start sniffing at my face. I wouldn't want to be consoled, just want to cry, but every time, I'd start laughing. Her whiskers tickled, and something about having her nose in my face always made me laugh.

I used to call crisis hotlines, but they only want to talk to you if you're suicidal, and I was severely depressed, but not suicidal.

It helps a lot if I talk to someone who will tell me everything I want to hear. Obviously, what I want to hear may not be the solution to the problem, but while I'm upset, it helps me feel better. Agree with me that the person who I feel wronged me is a jerk! We can look at it from his or her point of view later! LOL!

Eating sweet stuff, like ice cream with gooey butterscotch topping, is great. However, after I eat it, I may feel like crap. I feel guilty for eating when I so badly want to lose weight. Plus I feel out of control of my eating. I ate a pint of ice cream this morning. I feel bad about it, but I can't change it now. I can only hope to do better in the future.

Oh, gosh! How could I forget one of my favorite ways to feel better??? SHOPPING!!! Of course, this only works if I have the money to shop. I used to get upset a lot more because of shopping when I'd spend too much, but I do much better now.

[Lexicon78]

Nephthys is the ancient Egyptian goddes of women and friend of the dead.

[ErinBear]

1. Journaling (I do that too)
2. Going for a walk
3. Watching the birds outside of my window - it seems to help me
4. Visiting with friends if possible, or calling or writing/emailing them
5. Listening to music I enjoy, or watching television programs I enjoy
6. Finding healthy ways to pamper myself, like enjoying a nice cup of peppermint tea, or the strawberries I enjoyed after lunch yesterday :-)
7. Talking with my counselor can be helpful
8. Ripping paper, scribbling on paper, or hitting a pillow if it is an angry kind of upset
9. Doing arts and crafts projects of various kinds (crocheting is a particular favorite)
10. Doing puzzles
11. Cleaning sometimes helps and is also productive - it feels satisfying afterwards

Those are some things which help me. Time also helps. If I can let time pass, I often feel at least some better with time itself. Not always, but much of the time. That's just me though.

Take care,
ErinBear

[Maven]

Hey, I guessed right! I had a feeling she was Egyptian! I have a book I want to get on Egyptian mythology at some point.

[Raynaadi]

When I'm upset about something, I first try to change something about the situation, whether it be some action I can take to change it, or change my attitude about the situation. If there's nothing I can do to change it, then I have to accept that I'm powerless over the situation, and wait for it to go away. Sometimes patience and acceptance are the only things that work. I can clean, bike ride, run, write, have sex, read, watch tv, chat online etc etc all I want, but then when I'm done with the distractions, the problem is usually still there. So I tend to try and fix the problem, and if I can't, I try to accept the problem. Easier said then done, but when I resolve to not let something make me miserable, it tends to get easier. =)

[Greenleaves]

Wow, thanks everyone for all the good ideas. Now I have a long list of things to do when I'm upset. Thanks!

I have a hard time with this because im terrified of anger.This usually results in me crying and feeling horrible because im too scared to get mad.

good suggestions!