[and_im_still_here]

Second time i write this...
Im scared, im lost, i dont even know anymore if im living or if im just seeing life pass by, then i think about all these stupid things i do and i feel fake and ugh, i really have had it with all this worked up inside of me... And everyone says its just the age but i see everyone else and they seem ok... I hate it so much i just want someone to pay attention to my weird talk... Just help me through im scared im junky im a mess my life is a mess, i dont know were im going...
Im sorry i just wanted to let it out.

[LostMom3]

Sorry you are feeling that way

[tallwaters]

It is very scary to feel lost. I get that way also. When I need to feel grounded and validated I call my local crisis line. Just know your not alone.

[Miswimmy1]

((((((hugggsss)))))))))

[Distantmalice]

okay, lets start with the basics:P
your as alive as could be first off:P
second, based on the first few sentences, i'd say your feeling pretty bleak'.'
what do you mean by "wierd talk"? do you think you could elaborate on that?
and go ahead and let everything out.
letting it out is good if it expels unwanted emotions and tensions, then by all means, let your thoughts run wild, but just don't do anything hectic or dangerous that could put your life on risk:P

[and_im_still_here]

I know im alive but its like a feeling or something, somethings i do seem like im just there and not really doing them mysefl
bleak? Well yeah i feel all broke down like sad and over it but it comes and goes all together thats the reason why i feel fake...

weird talk" i mean like i describe what i feel in my words and my mom (the one that tries to listen) just says im pressured or nervous, and ends the conversation whenim just like what!?
And i want to let everything out just dont know when to start or how to do it i need to find a pattern sometimes in my talk so that i can let things out so i dont miss a thing i dont know if i understood myself here

[Leed]

You're still a teenager, and I'm NOT trying to minimize ANYTHING but being a teenager is VERY DIFFICULT. Everything is changing. Not only your life, but you're pressured to make changes, your body is changing, your life is changing, your parents are askiing you all the time "what do you want to do with your life" when you haven't had TIME to think about that. Everyone is pressuring you! You feel like you're going crazy! If people would just leave you alone -- right? Is that the way it feels?
I know that's the way it felt for me.

Are you going to college? Are you IN college? Do you get enough sleep? Are you having trouble sleeping? What are some of your other "symptms?" Are you depressed? Do you have extremely HAPPY moments at times and then CRASH to depression?

IF any of this sounds familiar, you need to see a therapist. If you can get your Mom to send you to a good therapist, it would be great, cause it sure sounds like you need to talk to one. Even if some of the symptoms I mentioned DON'T sound familiar, I still think you need to talk to one. Ask your Mom -- and let us know how you do, ok? We do care. Hugs, Lee

[Sanada]

(((hugs)))

Dont be scared of feeling this way. The way I saw when I was confused was to see the 'other' that was because I only saw 'me'. In the mirror.

Dont be scared of life. Trust me if you are recognising seeing fear/emotions , then the world you see is double scared. Looking into your self is good. Others dont do it sometimes and they end up lost.

You sound like to me someone searching. keep it up.
x

[and_im_still_here]

Thanks leed
None of the pressure i feel is about college, not in college yet, i do plan, but then i dont, who knows...
My mom doesnt pressure me either, she is very kind and comprehensive, my dad does not live with me and well i am taking therapy, started like in the beggining of the year, and this whole year has been yucky for me... I do feel depressed if thats how i can call it, before i notice im all stupidly laughing, not happy cuz i havent been since quite some time but i tend to mke joke lots of the times about my life.. Im a mess more after my T said that its disthymia, said its chronic and now i hate it even more im scared im lost like i said im tired of this..