I Need a Reason

I need a reason to live, but I urge you kindly not to post answers similar or bordering towards "think about all the people who cares about you" or “everyone has a purpose”, I am neither religious nor suicidal, at least not anymore.
I’m just tired of being trapped in a pointless universe where we, the human race, only live to satisfy our ego. (Or super ego if you want to go all psycho- analytical on me)
But I suppose it is better than the alternative: A divine dictatorship which applies fear in order to keep its (his, hers or whatever) followers from searching for it and, assuming the search is successful, proving the existence of the divine entity in question.
I could go on, but this is beside the point, I am only including this so that you may easier understand my current position, sorry if I offended anyone.
But back to my question, which is:
I need a reason to live, a life goal if you will; something that can drive me forward and give me strength or my life will be meaningless.
If anyone of you have any suggestions I would be most obliged.

Yours truly
Canis_Lupus

I don't think life has a meaning but its up to us to try and appropriate one. We all find it in different things and it tends to be a deeply personal issue. Someone i once spoke too talked about accepting that they had no more meaning than the leaves on the trees or the grass on the floor - but they understood they were just as important in the universe as everything around them. Perhaps your 'meaning' is to be part of that universe and allow whatever plan it has for you? Im sorry if ive not been helpful, this is a rather complex subject but im sure you will get some interesting responses

The main reason, for me, is because my body continues to function and live. When my body and my depressed psyche don’t want to drive forward toward anything then we don’t. We exist. We pull weeds in the back yard, pet the cats, and do the minimum required to sustain life – pay the bills more or less on time, buy groceries, etc. Some days are better than others. Mostly they’ve been getting better of late.

Sooner or later, of course, my body will cease to be alive. Until then I am. About as simple a reason to live as there is but it works for me.

To me, there is no huge long term goal. But I do think the point of being alive is to experience, to do, to... er, live in as exaggeratedly fulfilling a manner as is possible. I think in making connections we become more tangible as souls, and so ... connecting is important to me. I don't know how to answer this question for anyone other than myself, so I'm not sure how helpful this is to you. But the thing is, even if there ISN'T a broader scheme of things, or a POINT, there is happiness, connection, love, people...

What does that sound like to you, I'm wondering?

I generally agree whit most of you, but your responses are only skimming the surface of my predicament.
Don’t get me wrong, I really appreciate your opinions, you all have some interesting points, but alas, due to the complex nature of this subject I think I will have to specify my point of view:

I believe that there is no grand scheme in life; Everything is just a compilation of random events that we draw red lines between in hindsight/retrospect, thus finding chains of cause and effect.

To survive in such a world (a realm of chaos), we need one single long term goal that we constantly work towards. This long-term goal might be anything from gaining a place in heaven (attained from doing good deeds) to becoming rich. If the long-term goal is dynamic (susceptible to change), it will prove more enduring and hence fully serve its purpose. Without this long-term goal, towards witch we focus most of our effort, a human being has no purpose.

To make this more tangible, I will use a quote uttered by Friedrich Nietzsche:

“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”

Of course, whatbeanbelived, being alive is indeed an experience in itself. I embrace all aspects of life, be it happiness, melancholy, love or other strong emotions, and choose to act out these emotions in a exaggerated but controlled manner, (Yes, I do have a taste for the melodramatic ^^) but to really appreciate life you need something more, something to fall back on, if you know what I mean?

I hope that what I wrote is at least somewhat coherent (English is not my native language, so please bear whit me) and I am looking forwards to hear your opinions.

There is no easy answer. I wish there was.

Sometimes, our reason for existence comes unexpectedly and without effort. It is often found through trying new things and experiencing life. At the same time one learns a lot about who they are. Knowing and self acceptance leads to this revelation. At least this is what I have experienced.

Many opportunities can be missed when one tries too hard. Sometimes, stepping back can correct the myopia.

Accepting AS is another. We are different and need to find our own place in a world that is not set up for us.

Introspection is a good start.

I think I understand what you mean. The quote hit home.“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”
I had to be Mom, that was my only goal in life. After I had my first son, I had a reason to live. If only to see that my boys did not have the type of childhood that I did. Only one time in 23 years have I ever doubted my goal and give up. I won't do that to my boys again.

Is there not something that you love more than life itself? If you had just one thing that you put above yourself, your desires, your needs and your everything, you would have a reason just to be.

Should I give you a goal to work towards? Or an experience which you enjoy? How about some grand cause? Try to end world hunger. Enjoy reading so much that it's all you want to do. Be the best *insert career* that you can.

...

Doesn't work, huh?

That's because nobody can tell you what your reason for living is. Nobody can determine for you what drives you and keeps you going. These are things people have to find for themselves. Go out and experience different things. Become informed. Find yourself. Some people are practically born knowing what brings them fulfillment and drives them forward. Others have to go through a process of finding it. You just happen to be in the latter group.

I can tell you something which has kept me going in the meantime. The first is that everything changes. If you feel bad, then it won't last forever. Always strive for more and to learn and better yourself, and hopefully a lot of the changes will be positive. Never stop learning and trying new things.

Heh, now that I think about it, I suppose finding something that drives you could be your goal for the moment. Or the experiences of life itself as you search.

What about a goal of just happiness? So simple!

Hi Canis Lupus,

I can relate to what you're talking about. I'm a non-believer myself, so I understand how difficult it is to find reason in living life. I frequently struggle with this concept myself.

Personally, I don't bother trying to understand why we're here on Earth anymore. I won't ever be able to answer that Q. I stick with focusing on what I'm going to do while I am here. What is it that can give me some sense of enjoyment and peacefulness? Nature is the answer for me. It's an escape from the politics and baloney of human life. Not that all of humanity sux, it doesn't, but there are a lot of triggers that bring me deep into depression. That's why focusing on trees, animals, waterways, etc brings me a sense of peace.

You may want to check out the Skeptics chat forum ~ to get more input from those who aren't religious & see if they have any advice for you. Best wishes to you!

So, what I'm understanding is that you're having a ... crisis of meaning, so to speak? Where life seems chaotic and meaningless and it's chaos and meaninglessness is difficult to bear? I guess what you'd like some sort of assurance about meaning - lasting meaning that makes a difference - and that there is some hope that you could find a meaning-making venture that is lifelong and substantial enough to give your life and existence itself some meaning and hope?

I guess that in itself gives you a clue about what you think about life and it's meaning. I'm wondering if you are so very clear about needing a long-term goal, what's stopping you from making one, and what the crisis is? Could you elaborate? Is it that we have different opinions and you're wishing for something that is universal and works for everyone? Just wondering, really. I'm really wanting to understand what's happening with you, so I'd love more information.

(A part of me wants to tell you that the answer to your question is "42", but... in the interest of being less obnoxious, I will refrain *ahem* .)

I also didn't really mean just the emotions. I think I was trying to explain something that has been, for me, a complex and meaningful experience and managed to not convey it at all >>; Um... so this is just me and I completely appreciate that everyone needs to locate their own meaning and self.

I think the point of being human is connection - I think that's a need we all have and that we all draw towards in one way or another. I think there is great and alarming vulnerability in the experience of being human, and that's the whole point; the intangibility of our actions, and yet their unmistakable impact. I mean... life is meaningless if you spend an eternity in a cave and say, write a huge novel about your experience, and no one ever reads it? You know? The novel -- or the experience, ANY experience -- acquires meaning when it is shared because then it becomes something that exists beyond you. And you can't control that. It's the butterfly effect. We live in chaos, but that's not to say that random acts do not have meaning. The only act that is without meaning, to MY mind, is the act that is carried out in isolation (not loneliness - loneliness has meaning, but without ANYONE knowing EVER).

Hope that makes some sense.

Hugs!

Canis Lupus - Like you, I have struggled with the great question of: "Why should I go on living?" I even struggle with suicidal ideation. Also, I have been influenced by reading Nietzsche - a very long time ago. I will not offer you "faith" based reasons. I am, by nature (not by choice), a skeptic. Like you, I am not convinced, but asking this question of myself every day - sometimes despairing of finding, and being convinced by, a compelling reason/goal. Then, from time to time, I know that I am important and that what becomes of me is important. My goal is to be what I can best be. Here are some things that inspire me.

#1) Have you watched the movie, Amistad (Steven Speilberg.) There is a scene where the African slave, captured and now in chains, says that what becomes of him is important - because: "I am the reason that my ancestors lived." (my paraphrase, but close I'm sure.) This profoundly affected me. Like the slave, Sengbe, I am proud of my ancestors. I do not believe I am descended from stupid people. I do not believe that what I have received from them is of no value, even if I no longer worship exactly as they did. They did not believe exactly as their distant ancestors believed. Generation after generation, over centuries . . . milennia, even . . . we have reconstructed what is of worth to believe in. What tradition of belief that I have received from them is my patrimony. I will not discard my patrimony . . . my legacy from my ancestors. I will not "throw babies out with bath water." But taking what they understood, I will build on it . . . and reconstruct what is worth believing in, as they did before me. They are dead and may be only ashes now. But I exist because they were. I refuse to believe that the story of their struggle over generations was in vain.

Though they are gone . . . my parents, grandparents . . . and generations more . . . buried, I am the residue of their having lived. My life, both physically, and the life of my mind, is the distillation of their having been, their having struggled, their having know victory and defeat, their having been discouraged and having fallen into vice, their having been inspired and having risen to nobility. I am the "Sengbe" of my lineage. They are gone. I am what is left of their having been here. What becomes of me is important. Why? It is important because of all that had to occur in order for me to be here . . . in order for me to be.

This is not an appeal to your logic. I don't know how you feel about your forefathers, and foremothers. I don't know if you are proud of your ancestry. Regardless - consider the story of the slaves who traveled on the ship, Amistad, and the character of Sengbe - a man about whom, I think, Nietzsche would say, "Indeed, here was a man who knew . . . why." Go to YouTube and view fragments of the film: In the clip above, though, grammatically, his words sound like a plea, his words rise above the level of supplication to proud declaration.

Scanning the full movie an YouTube, I found the exact words that so arrested my attention and that I, too, can apply to my search for meaning:

"I meant my ancestors.
I will call into the past . . . far back to the beginning of time.
I will reach back and beg them to come and help me . . . at the judgement.
I will reach back and draw them into me and they must come.
For, at this moment, I am the whole reason they have existed at all." Words of Singbe. We can ask why, but, ultimately, we must - each of us - DECLARE why. The answer to your query gets born within you from the convictions you arrive at - or else, you go on with no answer. Perhaps, Singbe can inspire you.

#2) I think I've gone on long enough.