[degas]

I suffer from bipolar with an emphasis on depression. I have been hospitalized twice so you can imagine how bad the depression was. With the medication I take I am free from almost all of the depression but some things still bother me. Why can't I get myself into the shower? Sometimes I don't bathe for a week or wash my hair. I don't know why. I used to shower daily but now I come up with some excuse every day not to. I know that I procrastinate but this is ridiculous. Why am I like this now?

Bipolar Disorder and Depression can be very debillitating. You may be experiencing dissociation or you might not have given your meds enough time to improve your functionality. If you feel a lack of motivation to do other tasks or you feel an adjustment in meds may be the way to solve this issue by all means speak to your doctor and explain that you still don't quite feel yourself. All the best.

[-jimi-]

Don't know but I used to like showers... now I hate them.

[jelly-bean]

One of the things I've noticed when I'm real depressed is the lack of motivation to do just about anything. It takes too much energy and I just don't feel like doing anything that makes me get up. Actually I feel that motivation or lack thereof most of the time. You really have to just push yourself to take a shower for your health. An adjustment in your meds or a change might be necessary to help you get past this.

[hartbroken]

Originally Posted by degas

I suffer from bipolar with an emphasis on depression. I have been hospitalized twice so you can imagine how bad the depression was. With the medication I take I am free from almost all of the depression but some things still bother me. Why can't I get myself into the shower? Sometimes I don't bathe for a week or wash my hair. I don't know why. I used to shower daily but now I come up with some excuse every day not to. I know that I procrastinate but this is ridiculous. Why am I like this now?

I'm very much the same way. I suffer from schizoaffective bipolar type, mostly depression also. I don't know why I don't bathe either. I do clean up most everyday, but to fully shower - no, I don't very often. You're not alone

[Xambgii]

I feel the same way about bathing and other things that I need to do to take care of myself. I think it's mostly because it feels like a heavy obligation so I just forget it and lay down or waste time or something. I'll go days without showering. When I do, I stay in for as short a time as possible.

[lynn P.]

There's been times in my life where I found it very hard to have motivation, so taking care of yourself can be a challenge - same with other areas like healthy eating and exercise. The thing that worked for me is kind of silly - I just discipline myself like a child...meaning I won't do anything pleasurable until I've taken care of myself first. I just force myself to do the task. Exercise also perks up the motivation. One thought that entered my mind was - what if I had an emergency...would I want to be taken to the hospital ungroomed lol.

I use this rule for cleaning the house too - I get the chores out of the way or imagine if someone was coming over. You're not the only one who struggles like this, but go jump in the shower now.

[Cleaning up]

I used to do that too, but I can't tell you why. It would be one of those requirements that for some reason I would rebel against and put off. Then, like most things we put off, it became a bigger deal, almost like another failure looming, and me berating myself for not just doing it.
I do know that my life is happier and a part of it is I actively think good things about myself and try to stop when the critical parent kicks in, or when the thoughts start about what a mess, or loser I am, or how many mistakes I have made in life etc.

[-jimi-]

It might be everything being broken down into pieces when one is depressed. Like when you are well, you hardly think about how to make an omelet, you throw things into a pan and done. When your thoughts are somehow interrupted, it gets into a massive task, like open fridge, get egg out, crack egg.... and it becomes sooo much, because automation is lost. I think this might only be part of it and not happening to all though.

Personally, I find when I'm not well, I hate getting wet. I can't explain it.

Sorry can't help here. I must shower each and every morning. I can't start my day without it. Hey, wait, you just made me realize that I enjoy showering...yay me!

Similarly I'm trying to figure out why I won't clean house. I know its gross but I always seem to end up washing dishes only when there is absolutely nothing left to eat with, I mean even measuring utensils. I end up having to scrape mold off dishes then soak them in bleach just to use them again. Then I find myself bummed and swear I'll keep up with it, but I just can't seem to. At times I have thrown all my dishes away and just bought new ones in order to avoid having to wash them. Laundry's about as bad and it trickles through the house....ugh I disgust myself.

degas, seriously, here's what you got to do man. you need to get up tomorrow, turn on the shower so that the bathroom get nice and hot, get a new bar of soap and get to town on cleaning yourself up! Wash your hair, do the whole shebang, right?

You will be amazed you good you are going to feel for just having accomplished that! Then, if you really want to go crazy, change the sheets on your bed. That way, you're clean, your sheets are clean, that way if you want to go back to bed everything is going to feel a lot better.

K?

-Fleeing Gellocq

[whatbeanbelieved]

Do you HATE showers in that you hate the sensation of them or do you just not enjoy the process... if it's the latter, I'd agree with Fleeing Bellocq up there and also add, as a suggestion, that you do it step by step. Step one, turn the geezer on; step two, arrange the clothes you need; etc.etc. Sometimes one is just depressed and it's just waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much effort. >_>; Then it helps to have steps!

i posted this in another thread, but i'll also post it in here.

if i've no reason to, i won't.

if something's happening.. like someone's visiting or i'm having therapy- then maybe just a small effert

Re: Why don't I want to bathe? i posted this in another thread, but i'll also post it in here.

if i've no reason to, i won't.

if something's happening.. like someone's visiting or i'm having therapy- then maybe just a small effert

Shattered sanity,

We're not talking about clearing the attic or vacuuming out the jeep. We are talking about this guys personal hygiene. You know, the basics. Depression or no, after a few days, it's time to hose down.

Seriously, Degus, you will feel a lot better. Then if you still want to you can crawl right back into bed.

Come on, guy,

-Fleeing Bellocq

Originally Posted by fleeingbellocq

Re: Why don't I want to bathe? i posted this in another thread, but i'll also post it in here.

if i've no reason to, i won't.

if something's happening.. like someone's visiting or i'm having therapy- then maybe just a small effert

Shattered sanity,

We're not talking about clearing the attic or vacuuming out the jeep. We are talking about this guys personal hygiene. You know, the basics. Depression or no, after a few days, it's time to hose down.

Seriously, Degus, you will feel a lot better. Then if you still want to you can crawl right back into bed.

Come on, guy,

-Fleeing Bellocq

i'm well aware.

i'm saying from my experience i only bother with things like showers if i really need to

like the original poster, i don't really have the motivation all the time.. so only if it's important

[layla11]

I used to have this problem, it has gotten alot better. Maybe try having something to look forward to after you take the shower. A hot cup of coffee or cocoa. I think mine was attributed to depression and being in a rut. I read on here about other things and lack of motivation doing them, and starting off small. Take a quick shower, it doesn't have to be perfect, you dont have to look perfect either. Make this your one small thing you do and build up to maybe doing something else small like putting on some good smelling cologne. Thanks for posting about this.

[-jimi-]

"Time to hose down."

It's comments like that that makes me want to give up.

[whatbeanbelieved]

Sounds like you'd really appreciate some consideration and compassion, Jimrat. When I read your comments, and the exchange between Shattered Sanity and Fleeing Bellocq above, I feel concerned because I see people who are all interested and concerned and might be rubbing each other such that everyone winds up upset. I am a little hesitant to write this because I have not been a part of this discussion, other than somewhere perhaps agreeing with FB that sometimes one just needs to get up and Do things, particularly basic things, like eating, bathing, etc. Things which are in fact difficult sometimes when we're dealing with anxiety, depression and suchlike. I think we're all concerned and wanting to contribute to each other's well-being. Hope this doesn't offend anyone's sense of safety in this forum... or their sense of freedom and choice.

Hugs and love..

Originally Posted by degas

With the medication I take I am free from almost all of the depression but some things still bother me. Why can't I get myself into the shower? Sometimes I don't bathe for a week or wash my hair. I don't know why. I used to shower daily but now I come up with some excuse every day not to. I know that I procrastinate but this is ridiculous. Why am I like this now?

Could it be lack of motivation, preoccupations or nothing to do? Having something to do outside of the home may help. If you do have regular commitments, try to take a shower before you go.

If you want to get back into taking a daily shower, start with two a week and build from there.

I struggle with this problem when I get obsessive. Everything gets put on hold, while I pursue my (at times severe) preoccupations.

My rule: When I need to leave my place, I always take a shower, no matter what.

[Odee]

I've been depressed before to the point that I hated showers. But I've also been depressed in ways that made me want to shower for hours. Lol

#1. on the list of important for you needs to be taking care of yourself. So please, shower every day! Keep yourself clean and think about how people will like that about you. Wash up, shave, brush your teeth, maybe lotion up your legs (if you're female). They'll all feel so nice afterward.

[-jimi-]

whatbeanbelieved, a "just do it" has two parts. One is minimizing how hard it can be. One is the indication how disgusting one is (like depressed people don't feel bad enough).

Those people trying to pinpoint what the issue is, are doing it right in my book. Those trying to give advice (like break it up into small parts) also do it right, because even if it doesn't work for all, it is a suggestion, not just an empty "Go do it". If you have a problem getting going, the answer is not go do it because then the answer is Quit having your problem.

Also people telling how they do it can be helpful.

I guess some people actually find motivation in mental whipping, but even if it works for a while, it is based on bad self image, like "If I don't shower now, I'm so repulsive". Not good in the long run IMO. Rather a mental reward for things you actually manage to do.

[-jimi-]

I can't shower right now because a rabbit lives in my bathroom.

That is a bit of a new problem, don't you think.....?

[whatbeanbelieved]

Sounds like you'd really like some choice and space and openness in your interactions? I'm hearing you say that statements like "just do it already" and suchlike are triggering to you, and somewhere, when you read/hear those, you feel annoyed and a little hurt, because it seems that people aren't regarding your feelings, and are attempting to "whip" you into doing something they think is appropriate? If I'm understanding that correctly, I imagine that's really upsetting and I'm regretting that this conversation in any manner led you to feel that way. I can only say very honestly that neither the mental whipping nor this was the intention. I hope I've understood you clearly.

Take care..

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

i'm well aware.

i'm saying from my experience i only bother with things like showers if i really need to

like the original poster, i don't really have the motivation all the time.. so only if it's important

I think the point here, is we all know that depression takes it's toll on us in different ways, in this case showering. I think the idea here is to get and be healthy. Feeling is just trying to offer help and not just agreeance. That's seriously important. I can understand Shattered's point of view as far as 'when it's important.' but basic hygiene is a must regardless of illness. For safety reasons, not bathing can harvest alot of bacteria and yeast on the body, why do you think there's an odor?

Ok if you don't shower daily and your fine with that, cool. I'm no professional but, I would say that a min. of 3-4 showers a week is still 'healthy.' But this sounds more serious, like there's a need, and this comment could be portrayed negatively just because it kind of sounded like encouraging a damaging behavior. Both were well meaning comments, but we must be mindful of different points of views, I don't think it was intended to be bad. Only the reader can sift through all of this and ultimately 'take from it what they will.'

Just my two cents on it. Hugs to all who are reading this thread. Because chances are your illness has led you to this thread because you are also struggling with the basics in life.

[whatbeanbelieved]

Both were well meaning comments, but we must be mindful of different points of views, I don't think it was intended to be bad. Only the reader can sift through all of this and ultimately 'take from it what they will.'

I'm resonating with that sentiment. Thank you for writing that.

I feel quite troubled when comments trigger one another; though I also strongly suspect that in a community this large that's almost inevitable at some point.. but I really hope we can understand the intention and treat each other with kindness, greater kindness as we keep growing together.