Sometimes I'm 'not here'

I posted a question about this somewhere else but nobody really understood what I meant, this will be the first proper post I'm making I think. Just something keeps happening, I'm not sure what, it's like becoming 'not here' , I was wondering if anybody could help me find out what it is? Thank you to anybody that might

This is going to be difficult to explain without sounding silly. I spend a lot of my time thinking wherever I am, and sometimes I think too hard or too fast, which can be scary. Sometimes people say I'm distant, like when they wave a hand in front of you to see if you're focused, and then you snap out of it. I guess that's day dreaming. Something similar has been happening but I don't know what, I posted another question the other day and somebody messaged me talking about schizophrenia because of all of the things I said, and they sent a link with this big list. The list made a lot of sense and essentially everything on it was something I could relate to. By no means though do I think I have schizophrenia, or at least anything diagnosed... Anyway I've been daydreaming, I'm not sure if it relates, but it's not daydreaming. I won't realise I'm doing it. It's like suddenly slipping into another world, and everything in front of me and all of the sounds around me just disappear and it's like being put into a dream world, but while being awake, and I don't realise it's happening, and I will be exploring the second world. Sometimes it's a realistic place and other times it's like a fantasy, and I will maybe talk to somebody in the world, and after a while I just 'snap out of it'..

Then I realise that everything in the other world was not real, and it's like being suddenly out back into reality, and I will realise that I haven't been exploring another reality, but I have just been sitting there sitting into space like a statue.. It's scary because sometimes people try to 'wake' me but can't apparently, and I just sit there, please can somebody explain to me what it is? I know it's not daydreaming or even dreaming at all, is so real, I'm really sorry this probably all doesn't make sense

Do you have alot of headaches, or other unexplained pain, or anything else that bothers you? Do you drink much? (alcohol) Is there any thing else you can tell us about your health or these episodes? How long do these episodes last? Can you easily be "Awakened" from these?

Please give us as much information as you can, ok? It might help us figure this out. LOL Thank -- hope to talk to you again very soon! Hugs, Lee

I don't really have headaches, although sometimes my head feels like it's under high pressure, and it feels like it's going to explode, which is horrible, but that usually only happens if I think too hard. I guess sometimes I go very dizzy, which isn't from standing too fast, it just happens, and everything goes blurry and sometimes I become blind for a few seconds, or sometimes about a minute, once it made me pass out. I guess the only things that bother me a lot are the things in my head and what I think and feel sometimes. Sorry I don't want to seem so problematic :/ I don't know if it's relevant or at all but I used to see a psychiatrist, which was horrible, and I think they got rid of me, but it was because I saw things that nobody else did and I used to think strange things apparently, so now I just hush about everything.

I think my health is generally okay, just my mind can be bad sometimes, and a lot of the time I don't feel any emotion I don't think, which is horrible in a sense even though I can't usually feel it, I don't participate much in things so I guess it's my fault. The psychiatrists never did find out what was wrong because they didn't understand and I didn't feel comfortable telling them the truth, which is my fault too, I think these 'episodes' last for a few minutes, sometimes a lot longer, but nobody can wake me up from them, sometimes I think they're only a few seconds though, I don't know how much of this is really relevant thank you for listening Lee, hugs too,

Love always,
Aidan

hello,
may i ask,
(1st timer here so here goes...)

have you at all read up on ADD as distinct from ADHD, google it and see how many symptoms you can personally relate to.

Do you ever feel like your mind is, perhaps a television, or skyplus box maybe, and ALL the channels are being broadcast in your head all at the same time?

regards

Gosh Adan ~ I've gone thru about as many conditions as I could think of, even looking thru the symptoms that they have, and I haven't come up with anything. I'm just totally confused.

You'd have to have a good professional examine you and talk to you in order to diagnose you properly. Ask your medical doctor to refer you to a good therapist -- he'll know who is good -- and make an appointment. He'll be able to diagnose you properly. But from what I could see, I just coulndn't come up with anything! Noting seems to fit! So a good professional would know what this was all about.

Do me a favor tho -- let us know what the therapist says? I'd sure like to know what this is all about! God bless and PLEASE take care!! Hugs, Lee

A lot of times I feel detatched and kinda 'not here' due to the PTSD I am sure its that most likely unless I am developing some sort of psychotic disorder. But either way its like half the time I am in two places at once hell and wherever I actually am.

Yesterday I had a strange sort of anxiety attack thing but instead of having a total panic(increased heart rate, difficulty breathing and intense bombardment of feelings of impending doom) or going into rage/fight mode I just found it really difficult to move for about 10 minutes and was staring at the way the light reflected off the leg of a metal chair just to try and stay 'here' because I could feel my grip on reality or whatever just getting weaker at least its the only way I can describe it.

As far as i know though I have PTSD, Depression, Anxiety and Aspergers syndrome(soon to just be autism spectrum disorder in the DSM if not already)

I don't really feel like that, it just happens sometimes, I don't really relate to the ADD or ADHD things, I was once shown a list of schizophrenia symptoms and characteristics, and they all made sense or were very relatable, and I don't want to seem like I'm just pushing that idea across, I really don't know what to do, I can't go back to the doctors I really can't

Do you think it could be dissociation ?

http://www.myshrink.com/counseling-theory.php?t_id=13

I dissociate a lot because of anxiety and trauma...I can definitely relate to feeling 'not here'. Maybe not so much the other worldly stuff but what you're describing makes sense to me.

I sort of 'leave' reality for awhile. Apparently it's quite a sophisticated coping mechanism, and treatable.

There are a number of things that can give you spells of being sort of in another reality. Like dissociation, derealization, abnormal brain waves (epilepsy), an underlying illness etc.

After I had strep I started to sort of zone in, like my head was thinking really hard and trying to grasp things to the point I was no longer here and now. Very weird feeling. But it sort of passed with time. I know strep triggered it but I don't know exactly what it was.

here where I live and work (New York, USA) the proper term for this is called "daydreaming" and "fantasizing",

everyone does this to different degrees /severities/levels. My wife can do so to such degree that sometimes she forgets she hasnt actually asked me something because she ran the question through her head so many different ways in so many different scenarios/ daydreams? fantasies. I have also done this too.

for some people its completely normal to do for others its not.

I know some people who daydream to such an extreme that they are unable to tell the difference between real and what they have daydreamed/fantasized. when that happens the mental health community here where I live and work calls it having "delusions and hallucinations"

mind you we cant tell you what this is with in you. doing so would be called making a diagnosis of your problems and we are not allowed to do that here on psych central. to find out what this is with in you, you will need to contact a treatment provider (a medical doctor, therapist or psychiatrist) in your off line location.

Candida and Pyroluria can both cause schizophrenia-like symptoms.
Both easily treated with diet and vitamins.

I dont know, im just throwing it out there. Whatever IT is, sounds like its causing you some heavy stuff right now.

I hope things get better for you.

honestly this doesn't sound that abnormal to me. maybe it happens too often and it's bothersome. i think you just got to relax hen this happnes, and when you snap back just say "oh ****, that was crazy," and move back into doing whatever you're doing. my 2 cents.

I agree with what was mentioned earlier about it possibly being dissociation. I've done it off and on since I was a teenager.

The best way I know to describe it: has anyone seen "Being John Malkovich"? If you have, do you remember when they were in his head, peering out through his eyes, watching what he was doing? That is what I do a lot when I'm really really anxious....everything around me is real, and clear, and intellectually I know this, but my brain sort of makes it all really peripheral except for what I'm actually focusing on.
But sometimes even that doesn't happen, and I feel like I am in someone else's body----I have looked in the mirror many times when this happens and although I know it's me I feel like I'm looking at another person.

I was terrified to tell this to my psychiatrist: I was sure he'd say I was schizophrenic or had schizo-affective disorder or worse (I have two cousins with the former and the idea is quite frightening to me). My psychiatrist assured me it was simply anxiety, and it was my brain/body's way of coping with it. (Agreed, it is a sophisticated coping mechanism, stratocaster.)

When you described feeling as if you were in a dream, but awake, with that haziness, I definitely have that when the disassociation happens. It used to scare the crap out of me. Now that I'm on an anxiety med, it doesn't happen very often unless I'm intensely stressed out with more than usual on my plate. And it rarely scares me when it happens anymore because it always passes.

It is a very very odd feeling/sensation, though, and if that's what you're describing I truly get what you're dealing with, If it is that, it can certainly be treated, and dealt with.

Good luck!

I'm really glad you brought up this topic. I've yet to see it in the forums, and I suspect a lot of ppl with anxiety (and obviously PTSD) experience this but don't know how to articulate or are simply terrified of what it might be.

Kudos to you!!!

Hey, I also agree with its being dissociation. Mainly because that is what I was told it was when I was having the exact things you're describing here. But like most have said its best to get it checked out by a medical professional.

It's a really hard thing to just snap yourself out of, but it is treatable with DBT(dialectical behavior therapy). At least that's what was suggested to me. And when you do come out of the world and back to reality it helps to getup and move around and focus your mind on doing something. Which might be difficult if you suffer from depression like I do, but even just something as small as walking up some stairs and then going to sit back down will really help. If youre around people often, and you trust them, you can ask them to help you out when you dissociate by being gentle with you and light,y rubbing your arm and telling you what day it is and the time and where you are, over and over until you come back to reality. I've also found that writing about where I go is pretty helpful, and if you have a therapist you can all about the places and figure out a pattern.

Best of luck to you in figuring this out.
::
Kelly

God, I feel like the title of the post half the time and have yet to find a permenant remedy.

I can totally relate. I think zoning out is more common than we may realize. You are wise to realize that this is happening. I hope you feel better soon my friend. Yours truly, Lightbulb7