Hoarding

This describes my bf very well. He has kept things for years he has an emotional attachment to that actually can't be used for anything and take up space. I understand the attachment in my own way, cuz I have things maybe I'm not that fond of anymore but someone I no longer see but miss gave it to me, so I keep it, that kind of thing. I just don't get as emotionally attached, it seems, to things like my bf does.

I really appreciate this post, JimRat. You've brought clarity to stockpiling/hoarding that is very helpful.

I moved after 20 years in the same house and that was one of the better things that has happened to me. It was not pleasant but I was able to leave most of it (huge yard sale and 1-800-GOT-JUNK?) and move into this house maybe a third of the size. I still had too many books and am getting rid of them now; maybe you should invest in a Nook or Kindle reader to help you do away with most of your books? I use to use my book buying as my "bank"; I was able to change focus and use the money for things I wanted more, not buy any books for 5-6 months, go to the library instead, that sort of thing.

I've had success with hiring an organizer a time or two and now, I have cleaning people who come in once or twice a month (after a big cleanup when I first realized the cats had fleas and the house was badly infested).

A lot of it is in where one's attention is; look a different direction and you won't see the "deals" so often. Really want the money for something else and you won't spend it on too much pasta and sauce.

Hoarding tends to come out of fear.

Fear of running out of food, fear of people getting to close (so you "close in" your walls with crap all over the house so people literally can't come inside), fear of losing things, fear of... you name it.

If you think about it, there's a sale today, but there will also be a sale tomorrow. Not buying something today may mean you save more money at a better sale later on. Not buying something today means you have more money in the bank that you can use for anything you need later on.

If you buy that extra shirt/can/etc. today, it could cost you more money. There could be a better sale next week for half the price of what you paid for the item today. And, maybe today you buy that extra shirt, but next week you need to repair your car-- but you have no money next week because you spent it today on clothes/can goods. It costs you time (shopping time, time to clean it, time to organize the stuff, time to worry about it). It costs you money-- both the purchase and space to store the stuff.

It clutters your room(s), adding stress and making you feel closed in.

A week or two of extra canned goods is fine. That's being prepared. A month of canned goods is too much, and serves no real purpose.

maybe my hoarding is repeated behavior that i know is safe? i do have a lot of anxiety and by repeating this behavior i am able to relax. it is productive in that it gets me "stuff" and also allows me to treat myself to small things that are safe to buy, won't break the bank and (hopefully) will eventually be used.

there are so many things about my life that i don't like and don't have control over. shopping is a way to avoid them all and give me a feeling of productivity as well as treating myself when i don't have the social skills to enjoy the company of others.

Sounds like something that should protect you that maybe took over so you're not in control anymore. Having food and clothes IS safety, ask those short on it...... If you have felt deprived of things in the past, heard stories about how poor people have been, you want to make up for that and feel safer. Planning ahead.

Thing is you can't plan for everything. I know it's very hard to know where to draw a line what is healthy and not. It wouldn't be healthy having empty cabinets and shop day to day either.

I used to overbuy, but thanks to Lithium, I no longer do. I had a Lithium intoxication when I was at a high dose, so my dose was reduced but it is just as effective - no more urges to overbuy. It is not that I exercise will power, no - I just do not have any urges. I still have a long way to get rid of stuff I used to overbuy, but one day my apartment will be clutter free.

Your profile says you live in the Big City. Hope that doens't mean an affected part of NYC!!

If not, can you somehow donate something to the people so terribly traumatized by the storm(s)? Or something similiar?

As for books, this may sound silly, but I am sure there are homeless shelters, nursing homes, or even mental hospitals or ICU visiting rooms with people desperate for reading material. I lived in a homeless shelter, and books were really really enjoyed by the residents there. Hope you are well.