[eskielover]

We just got home (now it's almost 4am). I had my normal session with my psychologist this afternoon & spent quite a bit of time working on packing up my mothers home. My husband always comes with me because I just can't be in her home alone.

We started our 1 hour drive home around midnight. My husband was driving cause I was too tired. As we were driving up the freeway towards the cutoff for the freeway to take home, there was a car close to us that cut us off from getting into the lane we need to get into. We ended up on the truck route to get to where we were going. I noticed that the car that cut us off pulled in inback of us, & followed us to our freeway. That isn't really unusual.....alot of cars take that route. As we continued up the freeway, the car seemed to stay fairly close to us but we figured it was just someone else from our where we live. About 20 miles up the freeway, the car passed us for a short while & we were in back of it. Then, it slowed down & the driver was flagging us out of his window to pass him. My husband pulled way out into the carpool lane to avoid getting close to him.....(at that point, thoughts were whether he had a gun or something). It just seemed wierd that this driver was having that much interface with us on the freeway. We continued driving home & at that point, I followed his headlights in back of us in my passenger side rear view mirror. We got to the Avenue that we take off the freeway to get home. He was blocking us from the slow lane, so my husband speeded up to make the offramp. We watched the guy follow us. This was more coincidence that usual. As we drove down that Avenue toward the street we take to our home, the car continued to follow us. As my husband drove down the street, he decided to pull a quick U turn & go back the way we came from & the car continued to follow us. My husband has been working as a guard through one of the guard companies here in Lancaster & he decided to drive to his company & call them from my cell phone & get some help. I was suggesting the sherriff station, but the guard company was closer. We pulled into the companies parking lot & parked in front of the door. The guy in the car pulled in the parking lot behind us & got out of his car. All he did was walk up & down the sidewalk & never came close to our car. My husband called the guard company & only dispatch was inside the building to they called for the help of the guards on patrol & for the sherriff's. Needless to say, the sherriffs are always slow at arriving & one of the guards showed up first. He confronted the guy & he wouldn't leave. Once we had someone else there, we got out of the car to find out what was going on. The guard told the guy to leave & that he was traspassing on the company property...& the guy just got real strange & wouldn't leave. He told us that he had a friend with the same kind of car I have & that he wanted to make sure she got home safely.....but he wouldn't get into his car & leave. The guard continued to tell him to leave & the guy just refused.....the guard got out his pepper spray & the guy still wouldn't budge. He ended up spraying the guy who resisted him & they finally took the guy down in the middle of the street. (& no, the sherriffs still hadn't arrived). There ended up being 3 guards holding him down & they finally got the hand cuffs on him. It was probably 45 minutes before the sherriffs arrived & we found out that the guy had just been released from jail 2 days ago. He told us he had been arrested for starting a fight but told the sherriffs that he had been in jail for ID Theft. The sherriffs got him into their car.....arresting him for trespassing & for a 5150 (danger to self or others).....since he didn't actually do anything but follow us. I was listening when they were questioning him & it sounded like there was either mental illness involved caused from his use of drugs or the use of drugs came from his mental illness. We found out that he lived about 40 miles in the other direction from where he started following us & he followed us for about 40 miles. The sherriffs checked his car & found some drug stuff in it along with reliese papers from the jail.

Part of me feels sorry for the guy.....the sherriffs asked if he had been Dx'ed with schizophrenia.....after him telling them that the Viet Nam war was because of him. He was born in 1971...after the Viet Nam War was over. He told them that the only drug he took for his problem was weed.......who knows if he was on drugs or not while driving.....he was all over the road around us, but never ran us off the road.....so they couldn't take him in for that. It is very sad that people like that who desparately need psych help fall through the cracks or maybe just refuse to take the drugs they are supposed to, but he really does need more help than just jail. However it is very scarry to realize that people like that are out in society, not knowing what they are really capable of doing to people like us who are just peacefully driving home.

My husband & I had been talking about the fact that he might be following us, but we never called 911 while we were driving because we weren't actually sure about what was happening until we turned off the freeway. I was suggesting that if he really was following us that the sherriff station would be where I would drive to. I guess in reality, my husband's solution was the best because there he could be considered tresspassing where in the sherriff station parking lot, he wouldn't have been trespassing.

I think from what the sherriff's said, they were going to take his down to the county psych place in Sylmar (back where he started following us). It is where they can hold him for the 72 hours at least & hopefully they can get some help for him if he is open to help.

Sometimes I feel like I have a sigh hanging around my neck saying strange people land here. After catching the the home care RN stealing my mothers ID theft & having the Los Angeles Police come to the house & accuse me of abusing my Mother, then having a strange person following us for over 40 miles to home....I want to get rid of that sign around my neck.......I don't need anything more to make my anxiety attacks worse than they already are.

What more strange things can happen in my life......I thought living through the trauma was enough.

Debbie

[hillbunnyb]

Deb, Holy guacamole. Glad you are ok. What a scarey episode!!! That's enough already. I give you permission to have a bit of peace in your life!!!

[wisewoman]

Deb, no offence, but the older we get the more of these absolutely bizzare experiences we have. It's either that or I have the red sign that tells people that I also need all of the crap in my life as well. I guess what I am saying is life happens and I am truly sorry that we get exposed to so much trauma as we do. Not to take over your thread but through my job I had one murder suicide, one murder, and in my life, I had one double murder. My T says it's just living and being in the world. Hope that helps.

[gardenergirl]

How scary! I'm so glad you were not alone and that you two decided not to drive home. I agree that going to a police station or the sheriff's is a good idea. I'm reminded that I really don't know where they are, though. Eek!

And I understand about not calling 911 because you weren't sure what was going on. I tend to second-guess myself, too. But it sounds like your instinct was correct. And I suppose that 911 would understand that you had a legitimate concern, even if it turned out to be nothing.

This is a definite caution to all of us though, especially when driving alone.

I'm sorry it happened to you, but I'm glad you were not harmed.

gg

[wisewoman]

and Deb, I woulda been scared to incontinence, I am glad you had your husband with you and that you did all of the right things. I hope you have a non-frightening day.

[darkeyes]

I'm glad all worked out, and you were not alone.
Hope today, you'll be able have a calming day.
Take care now,
Roe

(((((((((((( eskie ))))))))))))

debbie, that was a very scary experience for you and your husband. wow, i'd be sweating nails if someone stayed with me for that long. i'm really glad that you didn't go home and you went to the guard station.

you commented "about a sign hanging around your neck your mom's i.d. theft" got me thinking. how about this, debbie, try detaching a little bit more from what happened with your mother. keeping it close and dwelling upon it and talking about it frequently probably holds it closer to the surface of your mind/heart/emotions than you're aware of. then when something like this happens, it's "whoops, here we go again"......this man thing was an ioslated incident that just fell into your lap. try to not connect the dots everyt time something happens to you and those dots will probably quit going back to the trauma you felt when you had so much trouble with your mom's id issues. make sense? i hope i didn't offend you, just worried about your efforts for recovery. love, pat

[PsychStudent74]

You have my permission for nothing else to heppen! (to bad I don't actually control it) I agree w/ the pple slipping threw the cracks. I have always said that our goverment needed something more than jail for pple who need rehabilitation. We can only pray and hope.

[EJ711]

Hi Eskie -

At that time of night, you and your husband were just focused on getting home. It's normal to think everyone else is doing the same thing.

I'm glad everything turned out well, in the sense neither you nor your husband were hurt, and the guy following you was put someplace where he should be safe.

It sounds like you're making good progress on packing your Mom's house.

This is just one of those really tough stretches in your life. We're all here to help you make it through.

With hugs and prayers,

EJ

[January]

((((((((((((( Deb )))))))))))))

I am so glad you are safe. What a horrible experience!

Hugs,

Jan

[dreaming2fly]

omg debbie.. that is scarey.. really glad to hear that you and your husband are safe..

Kat

[eskielover]

Hillbunny, Gardengirl, darkeyes, psychstudent, EJ, Jan, Dreaming2fly,

Thank you all for your wishes for some peaceful days.......at least then haven't been quite as stressful as living through that kind of stress.

It is a good thing to have an idea of what to do before something happens like this......Where to go for help & not to go home. It is even something to try & be aware of the fact that someone is even following you. I have only been followed once before but not on my way home, it was on my way to the police department to file my report against her.

At the time, I thought it was strange that the guy didn't leave once he was confronted by the guards. They told him if he didn't leave they would arrest him for tresspassing (he parked his car in the guard headquarters parking lot). He kept paceing up & down the sidewalk & refused to leave. When the guard tried to get him down & put handcuffs on him, he kept telling them that he wasn't resisting, but he wasn't cooperating either. What came to my mind after it was all over was that I think he wanted to be arrested & even put on a 5150. The sherriffs found out that he had just been released from jail 2 days before. Maybe he thought he wanted to be put back into a safe place again. I know that may sound crazy, but looking back at several of my psych hospitalization years ago, I remember coming home with a feeling of not being safe. There were times when I actually wanted to be back in the hospital to have that safe feeling back. Maybe he was having similar feelings. It was definitely obvious by listening to the sherriffs talking to him that he was either on drugs or off drugs that he needed to help him. Schizophrenia was obvious but not whether it was caused by drugs or that it was his illness. According to the questioning, he hadn't been Dx'ed with any psych illness or given any meds. My husband & I are really hoping that by having the sherriffs take him in that he will be able to get the needed help so that he can be treated correctly. Of course, if he doesn't want help, there is nothing that can be done for him & even if they give him meds, if he doesn't want to take them, there is nothing that can be done. Hopefully some day, he will be at a place where he will realize that he needs help & that weed isn't the answer to making him better, only worse. It is really sad when psych problems land someone into the jail rather than the hospitalization care that can help them. No matter how afraid I am of him & fear that someday, he might follow someone & end up harming them, it doesn't keep me from praying that he will find the help that he really needs & will be open to it. Looking at the jails, I wonder just how many of the people in the jails are really people with psych problems that could be helped with the right meds or the right therapy before they do something bad enough to end themselves in jail. It seems that the cracks that people with psych problems fall through are huge & many. It seems like it is easier for them to end up in jail rather that getting the help they need in an environment like a psych hospital.

I just really hope that this guy gets some good help before he ends up really hurting someone or even the possibility that someone may feel that they have to protect themselves against someone like him by using a gun on the freeway.

Debbie

[eskielover]

Wisewoman,

I definitely agree with you on the fact that it is just living that puts things like this into our lives. I have always felt that things are put into my life for a reason (even though I can fathom why most of the time). I hear about things like this happening but never think they could ever happen to me.....I am learning that I am not immune to these strange things happening to me.

It must be hard when your job puts you into situations that cause things like this to be real experiences in your life. I guess that may have it's benefits in that it might be easier to realize that things like this are really just a part of life & with experience, I would imagine that appropriate reactions would become easier.

I appreciate your input & definitely agree with you about realizing that these things are just life.....only I really wish it could be part of someone elses life & not mine. I went 40 + years without anything serious like these things happening.....thinking that things like this were just on TV shows or in the Hitchcock movies.....what a sheltered life I lived until lately.

Debbie

[eskielover]

Fayerody,

No problem....no offense taken at all. You are right about this incident just happening without being connected to anything in my past. The situation was only limilar in that I was followed in my car by the RN when I was driving to the police department to file the report against her.

I would love to get rid of the nightmares & flashbacks that continually haunt me about the RN situation. I am realizing that it wasn't the ID theft itself that bothers me, but the fear I had about the things she did to me to try & keep me from saying anything. It is also about the anger I can't seem to let go of toward my Mother....(maybe more than anger....some hate there too). Those feelings started when I was a child & she ended her life with me realizing that my feelings toward her never changed only got worse. Tough feeling those feelings toward someone that is dead....no way to confront those feelings.

For some reason, my psychologist keeps telling me that if I talk my fears through enough that the feelings will lessen. My problem with that is from my childhood, I never wanted to be boaring by repeating the same thing over & over & over again......which is exactly what he is telling me to do. In my mind, he knows what is bothering me....he should be able to know what is needed to get me through it. I shouldn't have to repeat it over & over again.

I asked my pdoc about hypnotherapy & EMDR to help me get through this PTSD. He told me that most don't take medicare & the cost of it would end up adding moey stress which could undo any good that might help. I only have enough moey for about 4 more months of house payments along with my med costs so adding anymore expenses would really mess me up more than it could help. Unfortunately I agree with him on that......it is tough when you don't have enough money for what could possibly help. Maybe once I get moved, I will be able to come up with enough money to at least try that type of help.

Hopefully once I get moved into the country, I will be in a very calm part of the country & my world. I do need some peace & quiet.....in my mind, that is what I am aiming for.....sitting on my swing on my front porch playing fetch with my eskies & sipping ice tea after a long day of riding & enjoying my horses. In my mind.....it just can't get much better than this.

Debbie

[wisewoman]

I wish we all could be sheltered from these things forever! So glad you are okay.

Now thats freaky. Scarey and everything else.

Glad you and your husband are ok..