[Bathony]

I am lonely. I don't have anyone. I don't mean a boyfriend cos I lost hope for that a long time ago, but why don't I have friends? Last year my former friend blamed me for the hypothetical sexual abuse of my niece because 'I don't want to react', although it's not the question of my willingness. Nobody would take my side cos everyone cares more about baby in hypothetical danger than me, the bad guy of this story. And besides that, nobody likes me. I'm 24 but I am already an old spinster with a cat, mumbling to herself. Everybody laughs at me. I'm short, fat, ugly and look like I were 14, so nobody takes me seriously. There's only me and self-harming. Gah, now I see why nobody likes me.

[IowaFarmGal]

I hope this will be a better year for you. Might as well hope for you while I'm hoping for myself.

[AutismotionalMe]

Bathony, I'm sorry you're lonely. We can be lonely together. I hope 2013 is better for all of us.

[hiddeng3nius]

You and I have a few things in common: loneliness, a dead love life, and lack of true friendship. I don't feel too hot on my physical appearance either. But I'm failing to see how you are the "bad guy" here? Do people blame you for your niece's abuse? Or do they feel like you aren't showing enough emotion about it? Have you been victimized by this person as well?

Sorry if those questions were too personal. Just trying to clear some air.

a lot of us are lonely- you sure arn't the only one

hugs

[Ladyzero]

I'm lonely !

I'm serving my misery soup for anyone who wants to share.

[yellowted]

for a long time i have doubted if there is such a thing as true friends, i wonder if those with 'true friendships' are not just deluding themselves and the ones they see as true friends are really just as fickle as all the rest. Ihave yet to have any really true friends, as soon as the going gets tough or i need their help everyone scurries back into the woodwork, never to be seen again until they need something from me!

I like you have a non exhistant love life, my family took the side of my abuser over that of me a 9yr old child and allowed him to stay living at home, hence the abusecontinued till i left at 19! I have not looked back to any of them since.
i had loads of friends until i became unable to walk, then over the course of 6 months everyone disappeared. I think seing me brought home the reality they did not want to see that life is a bxxch and anyone can become disabled at any point in life.
i too am short fat and ugly, difference is i am older so have grey hairs and wrinkles to deal with too!
I have come to realise that the only person i can really rely on is myself. being disabled i get sooo frustrated when i can't do things and have no choice but rely on others because i know i will be let down or the thing will not be done properly. that said it does make me very much more happy/content with the small things in life. someone holding a door open or offering to help me pack my shopping into scoots bag make me realise that there are some good people around even if they are strangers

[I am bad, no you are not no one loves me , no one could love me, until you love yourself others will find it difficult to love you I am unlovable, no you are not you just need to love yourself a bit first. I am dirty if you feel this as a resulot of abuse then you are not dirty but are scarred, if you feel dirty because you are unwashed then have a bath/shower, it's my fault abuse is not your fault unless you were the true abuser, I'm stupid you don't sound stupid to me, I should have done something if you could have you would have so don't beat yourself up about not doing something, I should have told someone you were unable to tell for some reason, probably you were too scared, I hate myself look at yourself and find one thing that you feel ok with, it could be your eye colour or your dimples or your hair, boobs etc but identifying even one thing you like about yourself is the first step to learning to like yourself again, you are a beautiful person and don't listen to those who say otherwise., I must be bad no one is truly bad everyone has some good bits even if they don't show them often, I must have wanted it,no you did not, your abuser did though I must have done something yes you were just being yourself, being you, this does not give others any rights to mess with you or say unproven things about you, I'm being punished probably, but not all punishments are justified and from what i see this one is definitely not justified, I deserve to die everyone will die eventually,you do not deserve to die before your natural time comes. I don't want to be me i hate being me too, i'd love to swap with you, but wouldn't wish my imobility on anyone!, why do these things happen to me, they don't just happen to you, look through this site and you will find lots of people who have been through or are going through similar things to yourself I must have deserved it. no one deserves it, but unfortunately for every good person in the world there is a queue of bad ones waiting to destroy the good ones]

yellowted,

i do believe in real friendships- but i believe they are very rare indeed

if you are lucky enough to know someone, who sticks with you thick and thin, is always their to talk to you, then you've done extremely well- i've read a few people's posts on here who have managed to do just that... make a life long friend who is their for them always

[Bathony]

It was so unfair. She was the first I told about the abuse, I was the first she told about her abusive family. She knew I was suicidal, how I was affected by the trauma, she knew all of that. She kept saying 'it's not your fault' and suddenly it became my fault. But I do miss having someone to talk to, not only about those horrible things but also those trivial ones. Like thinking 'wow, this is awesome, can't wait to tell somebody about this'- but I have no one. At least I know what people really think about the abused- we are blamed. It's not like they say 'it's not your fault'- they actually think the opposite. I want someone to care, someone who would be interested but yeah, nobody likes me.

[Bathony]

Not that anyone would care

[seeker1950]

I'm alone, but I'm not lonely. I think being alone is a gift to find yourself!

[avlady]

I love you even if you think nobody else does, I've felt those feelings before and they are dangerous and a lie stay cool headed and bring yourself up with the people here who want to help you.

[NoCake]

Who the @#$! cares about them?? They can do what they want. You should do you! Have your own little party! Ok babe look being lonely is hard - I know...
But in the mean time you should find things that make YOU happy. Try to find happiness in YOURSELF first and only then go and look for it in other people.

What a lot of people do when they get lonely is date random people they don't even click with, get drunk, and just walk around pretending to mix with everyone they're around even if they don't enjoy being around them. Trust me they aren't happy either and even if they are the lows beat the highs every time. That's how people get addicted to stuff btw...

Try and find things in life that just make you happy. And if you can't then you may have been spending too much time worrying about what other people like and not what you like!