Seriously, when you reach out and get this

Hope you find the help you need and deserve. Even at this point getting an appointment would be a good start.

Take care of yourself hunny bun.

Lady, again I refuse to add the zero part because you are not truly a zero. I believe you can do this. One foot in front of the other. All you have to do is show up, the rest will follow suite. One action to perpetuate the rest in motion. I know this one action seems very hard for you right now. But you can do it. And once you do you will have a new accomplishment which that in itself will make you stronger.

I am really pulling for you and I really hope you take this step. All is not lost, you can find yourself once again.

Sending you lots of love and strength. Who cares if you are showered or cleaned up at this point. Maybe in order for them to see that you really need help they need to see how much you are struggling. They have seen it all before. When you have a bleeding wound you don't worry about covering it before you go to get it treated. If that makes sense.

I think it's wiser to just spend that energy on getting the help you need first and foremost.

Let us know how it goes. Rooting for you all the way!!

No one is going to laugh at you, try to help you..yes, laugh .. No. I have been hospitalized, no one laughed, judged, or anything of that sort. They are there to help you and they have seen this all before.

sorry lady 0, things sound like they've not really progressed much from when i last saw a message from you

you say that calling an ambulence is a little dramatic, but not really.. if you feel that's what you need, then it's perfictly okay

good step calling the doctor, shows you really are trying to get better- just ashame she acted how she did

Thank you all. Am hoping to call for help today. I need to shower but feel so weaker, it's easier to just turn over in my bed. Pathetic

Hi Ladyzero,

I just want to add my agreement that you should check yourself into the hospital temporarily and let them help you get stabilized. I had to go inpatient once because of clinical depression. It helped me ALOT.

Peaches

Thinking of you. Keep us in the loop

Lady zero -

I have worked in hopitals and health care for a long time. I have had people in situations like yours admitted to my facility and I assure you, nobody laughs at them. We are all grateful we have the skill and knowledge to make you feel better and maybe bring you back to enjoying your life.

Everyone went into their chosed field of medicine because they want to help. They do not want to ridicule and hurt.

i hope you're feeling better, i really don't think an ambulance is such a bad idea, do you have someone to take you to be checked out. You can get the hospital help temporary, i know i often feel like i need the hospital, but don't want the ambulance to embarrasse me -but believe me the hospital can help you get on your feet. at one time i couldn't even dress myself or brush my teeth etc... i needed the nurse to help me take a shower...never felt so helpless but in the end I'm here and deal with functioning everyday stuff, but i know I also have a therapist and doctor that have helped greatly. I know some of my posts sound the same i basically try to support people who need to get help for themselves so they don't have to go through what i've been through. i hope you get the help you need and can get a good perspective on what's going on,

When I was in environmental therapy (outpatient) there was a copatient who reminded little of you. The difference was that she had spiraled down so fast that she had sort of been caught up by the system. She was so depressed she couldn't do anything for herself. She was so helpless that it must have felt awful. She was put in a depression ward and given treatment and after not all that long, less than two months, she could leave the hospital and live independently. That was a huge step for someone who were near catatonic.

When she was with us in therapy she was still really frail and had to avoid stress to a large extent. But other than that, she could do what us others did, clean, buy food, cook, do dishes, sit around and talk, make and have coffee, go for walks and so on. She entered hospital with no energy at all and totally crashed down, and step by step she got better, could do more things on her own and get some independence back!

She was given different types of treatment in hospital, medication, but not just that. It really changed everything.

You and what you are going through are not pathetic, dear Ladyzero
You are a good and smart and lovable person who is suffering, and who wants to feel much better. Let that be your driving force. Judging yourself harshly isn't kind or helpful to you, so you can reject those kinds of thoughts.
I hope you felt up to making the call today.

Bless you all so much, I'm amazed at your kindness and grateful for your replies. They really, have taken me by surprise. I know there are kind people here, but even I get bored with my own negativity and servings of misery soup.
Thought I'd update you.
In the last 2 days I have managed to :
Speak to my own doctor.
Have a shower, ( as in stand up long enough, without feeling faint. I do wash, but daily showers just became too much effort.)
Actually ate some meals and enjoyed them
( Albeit instant micro dinner / egg on toast. )
Spoken to my 'Big Brother' all the way from Umpa Umpa land , twice.
Played some music.
Watched t.v.
Loaded and unloaded the dishwasher.
Arranged for blood tests.
Actually answered my phone, rather than ignore it.
Enjoyed early morning cups of tea.
2 min tidy up of kitchen ( it's disgusting still ! But felt faint again .)
Opened my bedroom window and breathed fresh air ! ( Have not even looked out, in months ! )
Tried to arrange for a hairdresser to come to do major overhaul.
( Last had hair colour done Dec. 2011 .)

Feel terrible admitting to the world, that it's been so long since I even opened my window, loaded my dishwasher, had my hair done. Even watched t.v.
( noticed the soaps haven't got any better ! )
Even my birthday, Christmas day , I did few of the above things.

That's over 365 days without enjoying much. That's not living.
That's scary

Ladyzero,

It is important that you see your GP, also your hormone levels could be off, so you should have your estrogen levels checked. You should also have your thyroid checked because if that isn't working right it can affect how you feel mentally as well as physically.

So far you are taking the right steps to find help, keep that up.
(((Hugs)))

Lady, that is amazing!! I know how hard it is, I spend way too much time in bed myself. But the good thing is, starting from here, we really do show improvements. You have inspired me!

scary )
What was her answer ? In a high pitched ' get me outta here voice'
'I think an ambulance is a good option !'

SERIOUSLY !
No offer of a visit, follow up, call or support.
That was a doctor, taking a desperate call.[/quote]

That's not a DOCTOR!! I dont care what state of your mind you were in, a true caring dr would never ever give an answer such as that to where you could easily say if he dont give a flyin eff why should i ? thats ridiculous! get a real dr! you pay them, its your money, your health, your life

Dear Lady...I have been at Zero, as well.

I am so glad you are here and writing

Please let us know how you are doing, and if you feel like sharing, what the doctor says.

My best friend is in the healthcare field and cares for others that are struggling; he is one of the kindest, funniest most lovely people I know. And I know for a fact that although he is a "dude", he cares deeply for his patients and nobody laughs at anyone. They just hope at some point, we / they can all laugh together.

Wow, you achieved a lot!! When you feel like doing nothing, what you did is the equivalent of scaling a mountain! It feels good! (no contrary statements in parentheses allowed! )

Sometimes we forget how good it feels to be able to get done some of the things that contribute to our feeling bad. It takes a ginormous push to make that happen.
And you did!! Enjoy and be proud We are!!

I know that now as I knew it then. But all those years of being treated like I was stupid did contribute to the plummeting of my already shaky self-esteem.

On the bright side, it's a good thing knowing that being treated like that really wasn't your fault. You were fine, they were the problem. They were lousy teachers and even worse persons.

I think there are actually liability issues, if a doctor who hasn't seen you in a year were to do anything other than to advice you to go to be assessed in a psych or regular ER setting. (That would be the case in the USA.)

Lack of friends does put one in a bad bind. I hope you can get connected in some way to your mental health system.