Major Rant / need advice

Well my support/work group is doing another fundraiser and I have been working my butt off, all are doing there parts except one, flyers had to be taken around and this little lard a$$had 3 days to do it not a thing has been done by her, I'am sooooooooo pi$$ed everyones doing there part and today she had the nerve to tell me she slept all day crap she's 37 yrs. old I'm 57 doin twice as much the places she has to go are within a city block the others are going to stores and shops miles from them, anyone have any suggestion other than Tar and Feathers, I have a few thoughts but don't want deleted
Angie

I hear YOU and I am glad that you are RANTING away..... for it will free you from all that anger that is trying to take over your other wise wonderful heart - HANG in THERE!!!



LoVe,
Rhapsody - (((( hugs ))))

Hey! It's like either Stone Soup or Chicken Little... don't remember which. You don't contribute... you DON'T GET! If the fundraiser is for YOUR group, she won't get ANY of the benefits! Poo on her!! Can't stand people like her!!!

rant away! all organizations have them!! and you just want to strangle them........we'll have a virtual tar and feather party for her!

seriously, angie, talk to her. that is ridiculous. as hard as you work to make that organization what it is and then she just slacks. we're behind you, woman! xoxoxo pat

okay Tomi, I know you better than this give me ammunition to use on her

thanks Rhapsody your pretty swell yourself

angie, you're the backbone of the organization. it hurts me to see someone misuse you like this. i know how hard you work. phish on her.

tell ya what if I promise maid service do ya think You, Tomi, and Sky would come here and whip this girl into shape, hmmmmmmmmm

maybe she has some sort of social anxiety. how about you or someone else that you trust will get the work done suggesting that they go door to door with her.

Age has nothing to do with if someone needs to sleep and so on. Im 43 and at times have slept the day away because of a nightmare filled night and I can tell you from experience going door to door with my child when he was doing fundraising when he was home was enough to send me upchucking all night long the night before having to walk my child around this block to hand out fliers about the candy his class would soon be selling that next week or two.

If this "lard *****" as you call her has a social anxiety no amount of getting upset or talking to her to get her to do her part is going to help if anything it will force her to take to her bed more often.

quietly take her aside when no one else can interfer or cause her discomfort and find out very gently what is going on. and in the future for fundraising work with her instead of against her problem for example assigning her a part in the activity where she has minimum contact with the public but yet something that she can handle on her own or with help and when dealing with things like going door to door set up a couple teams and have her buddied up with someone. that way if something happens where her anxiety kicks in she does not take to her bed because everything rests on her head.

Im not saying you shouldnt feel like you are because everyone is entitled to how they are feeling and I know from running groups and being in groups that its frustrating when we encounter someone in groups that seems to be not living up to their end of things but if the situation was reversed I certainly would not want to be thought of as an unappropiate name and so on just because of my mental problems. Hey Im in the group for a reason right?

hang in there. She will probably come around with some TLC and understanding which is what all human beings have a right to.

myself, you have made alot of excellent points, you have always been open minded and patient with me, I only wish she had a little social anxiety, this woman has a big problem with staying out of others projects, she tries to do everyone elses jobs and her own, she butts into conversation not involing her, has a bad habit of finishing conversation that are not hers, most of the time I stick up for her but this time she refuses to be accountable for her actions, her dx is borderline, and she has short term memory problems unless it's stuff she wants to remember, I know I'm being hard on her but if you saw how much she really does you'd understand

angie, i know that this is really troubling you and i feel that you will make the right decision on how to handle this. you know this woman and you're the one that works with her. just hang in there, woman..........xoxoxo pat

I do understand those types that are "selective helplessness and helpfulness" too and have found that getting even them on the go works better with sugar then with vinigar especially if you scoop out the sugar above and beyond. soon they are on the go just to get you out of their business. LOL

I have this one friend that phones me. and when she does its all "poor poor me Im so sick I cant do this that and the other thing and creating sicknesses and problems for herself and offers help that she knows she cannot deliver on.

One situation in which I turned on the sugar and let her sink in it -

She called me one time to see if she could stir up things by telling me she recieved a paper from DHS to adopt my chiild that is in foster care and residential treatment programs and she wanted to be helpful to me by letting me know she got that paper and yes she wanted to take my child and raise him for me and also to discuss she had this problem and this problem and so on.

What she didn't know is that I have a list of contacts of those who are able to take my child if he is ready to leave foster care and on the chance that I am unable to bring him home. She is not on that DHS approved list and I have court hearings every 6 months with DHS to review the case and my sons progress and yearly court hearing for t he same. and her being helpful phonecall came a few days after a hearing so I knew exactly what was going on with my child and the case and its not putting him up for adoption. he is going to need the services of residential treatment programs through out his teen years and possibly as a young adult.

I knew she was just trying to stir up trouble for me so I poured on the sugar. I told her how thankful I was and how great she is to adopt my child and that I will call DHS right then and they will contact her area's DHS and her agency will come to her home and evaluate her and her girls to make sure they have enough space, and everyone will have to go through the DHS mental health consultants resourse list to go through a comprehensive psychological evaluation just to make sure that every one in her household is stable because adopting a child who has schizophrenia can be quite stressful. then once that is done her and I and DHS can sit down and sign the adoption paperwork with the judge. and wow the way DHS moves on my case we can have this all done in just two weeks cool.

The woman went into hemming and hawing and had to get off the phone to try and locate the paper my DHS supposedly sent her. but I kept up a steady stream of upbeat talk about how I needed to call my lawyer that night to let him know and by the next day the judge on the case would also know that she recieved a paper from DHS ... but uh oh someone screwed up. my son is a minor which means someone within DHS voilated his confidentiality by sending illegal adoption papers out after stating in a court hearing my child was not going to be placed up for adoption because I have not lost my parental rights.

This might go even faster because once the judge hears she got a DHS paper an imediate investigation into the present caseowrker will happen so within the next couple days a DHS case worker is going to be in court and possibly fired for breach of federal laws. cCOOL she is going to get to testify in court for me and my son against a DHS caseworker.

The woman dropped the phone - at least thats what she told me when I called her back when we got disconnected and she found the paper she thought was from DHS.the paper was supposedly from her childs school because they were collecting money for the Katrina victims in New Orleans. She could not possibly adopt my child and she was so sorry to get my hopes up with this misunderstanding. and she hoped I hadn't made any other calls before calling her back after she dropped the phone and she hung up and did not call me for 6 months. LOL

hang in there.

Angie,

Take a deep breath, and assign her work to someone else.

EJ

breathing steadly in and out, talked to her case manager and independent living worker and they are going to take her to her pdoc and primary care doc today to see whats going on with her also she is getting ppl in to help her clean, I have already told her she needs to stay away from here for the rest of the week to get her apt. ready for inspection plus she needs a break from here (to much stimulation), also I need a break from her
Thanks everyone your the greatest
Angie

I'd be frustrated to, it's really annoying when people are lazy and don't contribute as much as others. I'd just be honest, yet patient and civil, and tell her that not only you, but the others involved in this fundraiser feel she is not contributing the way she should and that it's making others peoples jobs more difficult. I hope she realizes how rude it is.

My ranting and tangent here has done some good, getting in touch with her worker has been a God sent , she is at hospital right now having blood levels checked and other tests, we might have saved her from serious harm cuz I complained to service providers