because i love asking these questions, and i love poles..

so:

fictional sinario.. you come across someone you've never met before, and they seem really nice and you start talking.

during the conversation the person notices something wrong, and asks you... are you okay?

how would you respond (which of the options would you choose)

i'd probably choose the second one

[NoCake]

Door #3.

I would only tell someone close or someone here. People are way to scared and judgemental these days to just throw around info like that.

[beauflow]

Usually people that I just meet- For My Sakes and Safety I need to figure them out first--- Sure this is done by talking, but if I am first meeting them, I want to know more about them......

So i would either excuse myself if needed, or tell them I was ok and probably make a joke about something as I do.....

sorry to be the specious type.

But I have told a few co-workers of my own issues, and some struggles--- They still talk to me, and joke around-- but this is after I have known them for years--

And it is the same- As with some co-workers I do not say anything to, due to- they don't care, if they have not cared to get to know me, just me as me... a person--- then why expose myself to the harsh judgement from a stranger (not all people are that smart sorry to say)?
let alone, some one that perhaps may do the worse that would trigger me a little and use it against me in some way? I sort of don't feel as if right now, in my life- i can take that risk.

[Vibe]

It's nobody's business. Even if the world were perfect, I would not wish to divulge serious and personal information to a stranger. If I did, then it would be in passing to make some other point, and I would not get seriously into my feelings.

I also feel that my problems are my own to deal with. I will sometimes talk to my friends and accept the support they offer, but I would not jump into something like that without them offering to lend an ear first. It would feel quite presumptuous.

[Atypical_Disaster]

I chose option four.

[whoswho]

Well, I know what the smart thing to do is, and then there is what I actually do. For some reason I feel compelled to answer every question someone asks honestly. So often I end up saying much more than I really wanted to. I don't trust people, and I don't go into detail about being "crazy" and everything, but I will talk about things that happened in a detached kind of way which (I suppose, since I've been told this by others) gives the impression that I'm really "put together" or "well adjusted."

But if only they knew!

[amandalouise]

I would choose staying silent but not because they wouldnt care. I work at a crisis center that teaches adults and children the concept of dont talk to strangers, even if something is wring you talk to someone you know and trust. we do this because many times when its a stranger that has harmed or obducted someone it is because the stranger has sensed or has found the victim to be vunerable in some way, it could be they are distracted and not paying attention to their suroundings or it could be because they have a problem.

so I practice what I preach so to speak ...when out in public (male or female, mentally challenged or not, physically challenged or not) a person should always appear to be aware of their environment, people places and where they are, they should always when ever possible be with someone else, I know its not always possible but act like you know what you are doing, where you are going and like everything is fine. if someone approaches me, when I am out and about alone, I act like they are not even there, while at the same time knowing exactly where and what they are doing, just going about my day.

some people call me paranoid but I dont care. I cant teach about stranger danger, be a therapist for clients that have been hurt by strangers and known assailants if I dont keep myself safe first. sorry.

I remember this one time when the crisis center was working in one of the city schools. the teens were rowdy and took everything as a joke, there was a lot of heckling saying stuff like this is hypothetical , these scenarios wont really happen to us, don't worry ladies when you are in danger we will come protect you and other inner city type crap.... until one of their own was abducted and killed by a stranger. Suddenly in our reception area was these same group of guys and gals that were heckling us during the school assembly.

doesnt matter to me whether the situation is hypothetical or not....when Im out and about, I keep silent to strangers not because they dont care, but because its just basic self care.

[venusss]

Originally Posted by Vibe

It's nobody's business. Even if the world were perfect, I would not wish to divulge serious and personal information to a stranger. If I did, then it would be in passing to make some other point, and I would not get seriously into my feelings.

I also feel that my problems are my own to deal with. I will sometimes talk to my friends and accept the support they offer, but I would not jump into something like that without them offering to lend an ear first. It would feel quite presumptuous.

pretty much this.

Imagine yourself in reverse situation. You talk to somebody new, they seem off. You ask what is wrong and they go:
"just feeling bit depressed. Went through trauma in the past, had to flee my homeland for my life. But my family is still there and I am just trying to get my sister out and it's really stressing me off really badly, at the point of feeling ending it all"
or something similarly awful. Tales of dying close relatives, abuse, trauma... whatnot.

Now what could you do? Besides feeling hopeless? You'd probably say something cliche, that could be interpreted easily as not caring.

[mossolb]

I would go for number 4. mainly because, it's true - people don't care. And that's not a bad thing, it's more of how people are. Majority of them, anyway.
You know how they say, everyone has problems. Well, I dunno this is probably just me, but I feel telling people my problems will just result in one of two things
1. Them not caring because it's not their problem
2. Them not caring because they have their own problems
Besides, telling the truth and opening you up makes you feel exposed and vulnerable. Yeah, but maybe it's just me.

I generally wouldn't talk about any illness I had because of stigma and stereotypes...but it would all depend on the person and the situation.

[Open Eyes]

I am usually the one that notices someone is struggling somehow and ask them if they are ok. I find that often they will discuss how they are overwhelmed and I find that they just needed someone to "listen". And it doesn't mean they always need "answers" but just someone to listen. It is easy for me to tell if someone is upset and would rather not have anyone notice or talk to them, they display a certain kind of body language that sends that message.

My therapist asked me one day if I knew the people in the waiting room because I am always talking to them and chuckling. I replied, nope, I have not met anyone I know "yet".

I don't typically get into my own problems but I am good at telling if a person is the type of person who is a caring person that I can share some things with. I have met some amazing people that way tbh.

One day there was a mix up with my T appointment. He mixed up the schedule, I got triggered but kept my calm, it turned out he discovered another lump and was heading for tests to see if it was cancerous.
He is a "cancer survivor". I gave him a hug and told him my thoughts are with him, come to find out, he was glad I did that because he was scared and felt very alone with it. He did need a reassuring hug.
If we don't try to "share our thoughts" we can miss out on some special moments with others.

To someone I have never met? Do you mean a random person on line? Or in someplace like PC? Or just a stranger you come across that you have never met before?

Open Eyes

[RuralOwlUK]

I'm unlikely to tell someone I don't know, because I would be concerned about being labelled before they have had a chance to get to know me. Secondly with OCD, I have found that it is regarded by many people as a trivial thing; often used by and about people who are just tidy and ordered. They have no idea about its soul destroying anxiety.

[Inedible]

When I lost the job I had for almost 10 years, I decided to actively work on coming across to people as normal. No odd religion choices, no New Age stuff, and no unusual behaviors. Nothing to set off people's radar about me. I need to focus on things that will help me get and keep jobs. So if someone notices something, I correct accordingly. If I thought I could help someone by being more available I would do it. As for being helped, right now the kind of support I want most is job training kinds of things. My wife and cat rely on me to be normal and fit in. With the economy being as bad as it is I feel I have to work at it, but if things get going well and I start feeling more secure I can come out and play a bit.

[optimize990h]

I would like to think I am a good actor with a great public mask to put on when I go to the outside world. However, if that person can sense that "there is something wrong with me", then I have not blocked impressions from this person. I would find that the person' s body language and speech patterns would help determine that I would be able trust this person for #2. The speech pattern would be things like tone and volume of voice, choice of words, rhythm of the words in the sentences, and whether there are any pauses. But if one is agoraphobic like me, there's less of a chance of accidentally meeting someone who could sense anything about me.

[lizardlady]

My answer is similar to Amandalouise, I would not share personal information with someone I just met. Not because people don't care, but because I don't share personal information with people I don't know.

[Squirrel1983]

There's too much stigma around mental illnesses around neighborhoods near me, so I don't think I would give up info that I have a mental illness to a stranger.

Heck, my co-workers don't even know I have a mental illness, I am very selective who I tell. I did let some of my co-workers know I see a T as the reason why I come into work late sometimes (less stimga there as that is just "counseling"). Most were supportive of it, but a few looked down on me for it, so if people I know reacted that way to something lesser than mental illness, I would never disclose it to a stranger.

The only exception is if the stranger is professionally qualified to help me and I am talking to them in a professional setting. I.e. - my current pdoc and T were strangers to me when I first started seeing them, but I was open with my illness as dx by 1st pdoc with them as I was seeing them for help.

I'd probably just stay silent. I've had people push me before "Are you SURE you're okay? Are you POSITIVE?", but I've just lied and said I was tired or stressed out due to college work.

Like others have said, people are way too judgmental for me to just come out about my "issues".

[Rand.]

I chose option four as it's what I normally do, but sometimes I have no limiters on and so I will be completely open which is when people become strangely distant every time I see them after... interesting... haha

[DeadRedScorched]

i chose option 4, i've learned that with my particular condition that if you function "normally" then you don't need to tell anyone anything ever. If i were getting married i wouldn't even tell my wife to be(definitely wouldn't tell a girlfriend or a potential hookup) and i'd lie about why i'm taking my meds(i'd say its for anxiety or something,,im on risperdal btw). And if someone were to say that so and so said that i'm mentally ill i'd brush it off and say its heresay or just a rumor .

[Nemo39122]

I just stay quiet when people ask if I'm ok...which happens a lot. I figured people really don't care, so why bother.

[newtus]

i tell people about my beliefs in society but never tell them i have schiz. theyll prob find out anyway on their own. sometimes i say nothing.

[Umbral_Seraph]

It's for me to know and them never. None of their business and the fake sympathy is absolutely irritating.

[DenisDonnacha]

silent, the much safer option