It should be no surprise that my head is full of useless trivia that I share here.

Some it may hit the mark, with certain people, and some of it may just cause head shaking and a quick trip to another thread.

I believe that it's in most of us to feel, at times, that we have every answer in the book and that we sure need to put it out there.

BUT, that isn't necessarily so...in many situations. We've discussed how hard it is to know what to say, at different times. Some find it hard to say anything and others seem to have just the right answer. But there are times when I feel that we may confuse someone, especially if they are new, by giving way too much information.

I know for myself, that too much information can be worse than no information at all........and I'm guilty of having "too much to say".

A long-winded, and sometimes convuluted, answer/lecture can really turn someone, who came here for "support only", off. I just can't stop myself from adding a few extras now and then.

This brings to mind a story that I told about my dog, Henrietta, rolling in cow---- on a camping trip one time. I was furious with her, mainly because I had to use one of our needed gallons of water to clean her up. In telling her everything that was on my mind, I criticized a choice that Henri made. That hurt her deeply. The only way that she could show me that she was hurt was to crawl under the trailer and stay for quite some time.

I've come to believe that when someone comes in to post and they ask a simple question and indicate that they need support/guidance/caring and we go off on a long tangent in our answer, we're criticizing a choice they made. We read between the lines and come up with all sorts of stuff that just muddies their waters.

I feel that sometimes a poster might want to crawl under the trailer and stay for awhile, so we'll shut up. Let's try to read, carefully, exactly what the poster is asking/saying and respond in kind.

It's hard. We're all so smart and full of answers. But, if it helps one person to feel that they were heard, I'm for it. And I'll be the first to slap my hand when I feel tempted to write a book, instead of just showing some support and letting them tell me if they need more.

love, pat

[wi_fighter]

[oksomaybeimnuts]

[hillbunnyb]

whew

[January]

[desirae]

so so so true, thanks for saying this.

[mrb020377]

i agree..

[SeptemberMorn]

Now let's hope it's taken to heart!

[walkswithspiritbear]

Yup guilty as charged

[jennie]

We can't read minds. How does one learn when to stop, especially online when unable to read body language?

[(JD)]

we try to stick with what the poster needs, not what we want to give them. it simply not going overboard with long-winded replies that are confusing. not everyone has to know everything that we know, at any given time. and i'm not talking only about newbies, this is for PC in general. keep it simple.......xoxoxo pat

[radio_flyer]

What is wrong with long winded replies... Some folks just have more to say than others... Should someone reply to a post, I think they have the right to say what they want as long as it is supportive... Why make limits on what a poster has to say...???hmmmmmmm

You always have the "choice" to read long posts or not... Sometimes I pass over long posts because I am too "moody" at times to read it from top to bottom... Then I may go back later and read it... but I have the choice to read nor not to read..

[gardenergirl]

Being a long-winded gal myself (hmmm, perhaps this was about me? It's all about ME, ya know ), I have no problem with long-winded replies. It may mean that someone's message gets lost in the shuffle or not read, but there's nothing inherently wrong with that. And that potential consequence is the consequence of the writer, not the reader. As rf said, the reader is free to choose to read, skim, stop reading, or not read at all.

gg

I agree radioflyer.

Beside that we start putting limits on each other then what are we doing - the moderators and administrators jobs. on top of that telling people what to say and do or how much is just plain being a bully in my opinion. Theres no rules that say we have to limit ourselves and the moderators and administrators are fully capable of letting people know when their posts and threads go against what the messageboards are for. Obviously length does not matter here on these message boards otherwise like NAMI the message compose area would be limited to 2000 characters. Or maybe its 4000 there I can't quite remember the exact number limit.

Some people can say something in just a sentence or two and others need to say the same thing in a three paragraph post, maybe because they are adding their own experiences with the problem asked about so that others don't feel so alone.

everyone that comes here is a teen or older so even new members are able to decide for themselves as to which posts to read in full or skim over or not read at all. And the moderators and administrators remove any posts and thread that go against the site rules and so on. So There is no reason to add babysitting detail of sensoring length of posts and threads. if at some point that moderators and administrators feel doing so is necessary they have the means to limit the composing space for posts and threads.

Besides I can say from being on sites that do limit the composing space doing putting character limits on the post composing area does not stop a person from posting the length that they need to get thier point across or their experience or answer someones question. They just end up making more posts with in that thread to explain their answer. Alot of questions especially about mental disorders cant be explained in one sentence or two.

People want to limit posting hey why stop at telling people they cant post more then say a paragrah how about adding no one can continue a thread that is more that 2 pages. -

Oh darn I guess that means just about ever thread here must be removed for there are very few and far between threads that don't go past 2 pages.

rediculas right?

Same for posts. there are few and far between posts that only contain a sentence or two. what happens to them if there is suddenly people saying limit your posts.

Also something to think about --- sometimes what makes the posts seem longer is because some of us are honoring some members who have told us that they cannot read long sentence and multi-sentence paragraphs so some of us take the time needed to divide what we write up into smaller paragraphs of a couple to a few sentences and then double space.

people want shorter posts ok if we are sensoring length like NAMI does then those shorter paragraphs and helpful double spaces and shorter sentences get cut out because people will no longer care about those that can't read but a short sentence or two without a space break, they will instead be thinking use all the available space for what I want to say. People will start using footlong words instead of breaking them down into words everyone can understand just because of lack of space.

I personally am going to sticking with my countrys (USA) constitution that as an American I have freedom of speech and that includes what and how much I write.

Unless a moderator or administrator tells me that my post was / is wrong and remove that post then I know that the lenghth and content of my posts and threads are just fine.

[kimmydawn]

I think that a long post is just fine...as long as it at least began with the context of the original post.

We have alot of options available to us here at PC. If we don't want to read a long post, we simply don't have to. It really is that simple, I think.

Discussions develop and evolve as well, and a response might begin with the original topic and include other insights and expansions...the same with real life conversations.

Also, in a "long-winded" response, even new members hopefully can not read if they don't want to and will pick out only what applies to them.

I think the bottom line is...if you don't like something you see here, and it's not against guidelines, we have the options to move on or ignore it.

We all agreed to the guidelines when we join, I think that means we also accept what's not against the guidelines when we join? Again, knowing that we have some great tools to get what we need here and ignore what we don't want/need.

Personally, I enjoy "a good read" when I'm in the mood.

KD

> we try to stick with what the poster needs, not what we want to give them. it simply not going overboard with long-winded replies that are confusing. not everyone has to know everything that we know, at any given time.

I understand that sometimes people are wanting support rather than practical advice... And that sometimes people are wanting practical advice rather than support...

But unless someone specifically asks... How are we supposed to know what someone wants?

Sometimes we want support because we don't have hope that there is anything we can do to change the situation. Sometimes we want advice to change the situation because we are having a hard time accepting it.
Sometimes we might want one thing, but we get the other, and BOTH are helpful at the end of the day because we can come to appreciate that we have a choice (in most instances) whether to accept or try and change things.

I know some people don't really read long responses...
I don't really read the threads that are full of shorter ones...

I like meaningful (perhaps intense) discourse in general. And that means... Posts get long. I'm sure I say more than someone wants to hear at times... Thats fine. People can put me on ignore or whatever. I know I'm usually stoked when I see that someone has put effort into writing me a nice long response. Though of course, as usual, I'm sure there is a middle way...

[Rapunzel]

As far as I know, we haven't considered putting a limit on how long posts can be. Sometimes it does take more than a few lines to tell your story.

Mods and admins try not to remove posts unless they actually do violate a guideline somehow, but please remember that just because we don't move a post doesn't necessarily mean that it is appropriate, supportive, or helpful. Members here are capable, for the most part, of making their own determinations there.

Try to keep in mind your purpose for your post. If you are replying to someone, is all of your response written for their support, or are you using that space to talk about your own issue? If you notice that their post brought up an issue you need to talk about, then you probably should start your own thread.

We do need to keep things in mind like the tone we use. And whether or not the 'facts' we present are accurate. Do you sound like you are claiming expertise when what you are writing is really your own opinion? Remember that rules vary from one location to another, so what you found out was a rule that affected you might not apply to someone else.

We need to be a little bit flexible and forgiving too. Sometimes a member might get on your nerves, but they may not know any other way to post, and there is a reason they are here too.

Rap

Yup I love a good read too some days.

Psych Central is the best site I have been on yet. The rules are spelled out so that people know what's what from the get go, and the options available are great.

[SeptemberMorn]

I agree, Pat! Personally, I get turned off by a long post. I don't have the time nor the patience to stick with them. Many of us that have anxiety and depression, in particular, just can't concentrate on them! There's many of us here like that.

It stands to reason that a post will get read more if it sticks to the point and a minimum of words is used. Even if one has a similar story to relate, not Every Single Detail is needed.

But then... there ARE times when a full explanation is in order. I'm guilty as charged... sometimes.

[gardenergirl]

Of course, I'm sure we all keep in mind that some folks give "Every Single Detail" due to their own issues or due to symptoms of a disorder of some kind. I'm sure we all are mindful of that before judging someone's posting style.

right?

[wi_fighter]

I don't have a problem with a long post. If it's all smooshed into one long run-on paragraph, then it's a little hard to comprehend sometimes.

I don't like seeing other people get ripped apart by being told they should already know the answers to the questions they're asking, with multiple examples of why they should already know.

[kimmydawn]

Posting styles will vary. We can read what we want and ignore what we don't want to read. If there's a post that crosses guidelines, please contact a member of the mod/admin team to be looked at.

Let's try to concentrate on obtaining and giving support, and let what doesn't apply to us, or appeal to us, go for the member that it does apply/appeal to (unless, of course, it breaks guidelines, then contact administration).

Thanks,

KD