[wi_fighter]

I'm sticky, tired, headachy, tired, sticky, tired, headachy. Did I mention tired?

At least I finally got up the gumption to call the office and tell them they need to take the horrific City of Hope account out of my transcription queue. If I log on in the morning and see those reports come in right away, I log off immediately and avoid work until about 2:00 in the afternoon until my regular work comes in. Then I'm too fried to be productive at all. Bleh.

I picked up a nice stand fan on Monday. I was so uncomfortable that I finally put it in here where I'm working. Not 10 minutes later, my son is going "I really want to take this fan into the living room." Over my dead body buster. I'm sitting here dealing with incoherent doctors, sweating my butt off, and you want to take the only thing that's giving me some relief so you can flop more comfortably in front of the TV?

I can't even get a peaceful night's sleep, especially not since I got a featherbed. One or the other of the kids always crashes in there so I'm left with a sliver of bed available when I go in to get some rest. What the kids haven't staked a claim to, the dog has. Oh, and my daughter doesn't like being cool at night, so she shuts the fan off in my room and pulls the curtains so it's stifling in there.

Go sleep in your own damn rooms already!!!

[bebop]

sounds kind of like your kids are taking over! hmmm do they know who the adult is? tell those kids to get out of your bed!! poor thing!! my hubby and my dog seem to take up our king size every night errrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[wi_fighter]

OK, since I can't get my daughter to sleep in her own room, I put her mattress on my floor. I'm also making her clean up all the garbage that's amassed in there. She watches the TV in my room and throws all kinds of food and candy wrappers on the floor, takes individual bottles of milk and lets them roll under the bed or dresser until they bloat up in the heat, she has soda bottles and cans all over, ripped up pieces of paper.....shall I continue?

This is in MY ROOM. Know why? Because her room is 10 times worse and she can't even walk through it any more, and she says she's afraid of sleeping in there alone. That's why she insists on sleeping with me. The girl is 15, she finally has boys interested in her, and it doesn't faze her in the least that she still sleeps with stuffed animals in her mother's bed.

[wi_fighter]

I shouldn't be whining. None of this stuff is new. It's just reached the critical point between struggles with work, and the heat, and feeling like I'm just a *****y, loud mouth, pain in the butt, nuisance.

hmmmmmmmmmmm. incentives? as in i won't take you shopping, etc. until your room is immaculate and you're sleeping in there??? seriously, why is she afraid to sleep in her room? and, seriously, i'd sure make her clean it and yours......you're the adult, shirley. don't let them run over you......you're putting the food on the table and buying their clothes. enough, already!!!

[bebop]

I totally agree!!! make her clean her own room!!! and yours!!! she is too old to be sleeping with you in your bed your room!!

[Mystry]

Time to put the foot in motion eh...either down or a few other places...lol..but hey we live for our children don't we...those shinny teethy grins or pouts just make the heart melt and they play us like a well oiled machine...yeah I remember...

my daughter just took me to dinner and we were telling her 7 year old about some of her mom's escapades.......bella loved hearing about her mom getting into trouble...cause she got a spanking yesterday...a rare occurrence...but needed.....

[wi_fighter]

I know all of this, really I do.

I shouldn't have even said anything.

[Danialla]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
wi_fighter said:
I know all of this, really I do.

I shouldn't have even said anything.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Knowing all of this is one thing...........but putting in consistent, effective measures to stop their irresponsible behavior is another.

Kids are kids, trust me I have 4, they will test the limits and they don't perceive their behavior as selfish. It is our job to help them grow into responsible, caring adults......and it is not easy sometimes.

Try having a family meeting..... maybe a "make your own sundae night" and discuss what is bothering you. Tell them what things have to change and ask them for ideas as to how to make it happen.

Sometimes tough love is in order, so don't back down!! You, and believe me THEY, will appreciate it in the long run.

Take care and let us know how its going.......

[wi_fighter]

You know, it's easier said than done, putting the foot down.

For some reason, my daughter needs that sense of security of having someone else near her when she's sleeping. It's not going to change overnight. I can't just say "OK, tonight and every night from now on, you WILL sleep in your room."

I honestly thought she'd get tired of it. I thought once she wasn't at her dad's so much and feeling tense that she'd get over it. Nope. I thought once she was in high school she'd outgrow it. Nope. I thought once boys started getting interested in her that she'd outgrow it. Nope. Come on, who wants to have to hide the fact that you're almost 16, could have your driver's license soon, and you still sleep with your MOM?!

When I ask her why she has to sleep with me, she gives an excuse of "it's too hot in my room" (in the summer). She has a ceiling fan and a window. That shouldn't be a problem. In the winter it's "my room is too cold." I put a radiator space heater in there last year, the temperature was just fine. "My room's too messy." I cleaned her room. It took her a week tops for it to get right back to it's prior filthy state.

There's more going on than the temperature or cleanliness or lack thereof, but she's keeping mum on it.

And don't go suggesting therapy. Been there, done that. She refuses to talk.

[PasDeDeux]

Hi ya Wi-Fighter , you may be able to make her talk by calling her bluff and telling her you will switch rooms with her

I too have had a crazy tired day. Be well

[Danialla]

Pick your battles.............

Don't tackle the "why do you sleep in my room" problem right away. But, do expect that she should, at the very least, keep "your" room clean.

That is not a therapy issue, it is just common courtesy.

[wi_fighter]

I'm really sick of being a mom today. My son is *****ing about the dog and screaming at her. He's screaming at me because he's mad at the dog.

A friend of mine called me yesterday and asked if I could make it down to the faire this weekend so we could spend some time together. I absolutely adore this guy. He's been the one constant in my life for the last four years, even though it's been sporadic because he lives in Arizona August through May and I'm here in Wisconsin full time. But he emails and calls and we get together every year and if he wasn't a committed bachelor I'd want to be with him full time. Can I get down to see him? Nope, because all of my limited disposable income is getting sucked out of me by my kids. It's not even that much money, but I'm not going to put it on the credit card and I don't have enough extra money in the checking account.

I'm feeling really used and violated and hated by my kids right now, especially my son. His dad makes him half-hearted promises and then backs out of them, so my son gets upset and I'm the one to take the brunt of his anger, and then I feel obligated to make it up to him somehow. He won't tell his dad he's upset. It wouldn't matter anyway. He wouldn't care. He's more interested now in pursuing the things he "gave up" because I was a "life sucking sponge who made him sacrifice his dreams."

My son even informed me that his dad is going to move to the far reaches of Northern Wisconsin after our daughter graduates and my son's going to stay here full time. Hey, thanks for giving me the heads up there, Big T.

I just want to give up right now.