Need help.

My life for the past few months has at times felt nightmarish. It all started January 7th, I smoked some marijuana, went into a psychotic state and tried to kill myself. I sliced both arms and my neck, which resulted in muscular damage, ptsd, anxiety, depression, and proper use of prescription medication. The doctors in the psych ward put me on celexa, and kicked me out after a couple weeks without really helping me with my problems. I was having major anxiety attacks and overall thought I was going insane.
After I was released I saw my psychologist, and she thinks I have bi-polar depression. She tried me on abilify, and xanax and that only made things worse, it made me restless, twitchy and paranoid. She then tried me on ativan and seroquel xr. The ativan made more paranoid, so I stopped taking it. The seroquel xr has helped me, but I feel so empty inside i'm not sure if it's helping me, or just covering up all my problems, like a bandaid on a sliced artery.
My question is, is it worth it to stay on the seroquel and feel empty, but remain sane, or take a chance and slowly ween myself off of it, to see how I feel drug free? I would really like it if someone with experience with seroquel could give me some advice. I'm on 200mg of seroquel, recently upped from the 150mg I was taking because I had a major panic attack, and was majorly depressed for a few days.

Im sorry but we cant tell you whether its worth it for you to be on seroquel or not and how much..

all we can do is tell you whether that medication worked for our own problems. for me it worked for a time then it didnt and I had to change to something else.

medication is one of those things where whether it works or not and how much a person needs varies according to each persons individual problems, body type weight and so much more..

only your treatment providers and you can say whether its worth it to you or not.

drug free or not...well this too varies from person to person..some people are able to go drug free and some are not. only you and your treatment providers can say if you are able to go drug free or not.

Hi Brandinii.

It is better to consult the psychologist or pdoc who subscribed the medication and ask about weaning you off the medication. I don't know whether there was a focused goal for treatment with your T. or not.

If you need to talk about anything regarding anxiety, post your thoughts in the Anxiety, Panic and Phobia Forums. There are members who have gone through similar feelings and thoughts as you who can give you feedback if you need it.

There are online resources related to anxiety in the Anxiety, Panic, and Phobia Forum. If you have any questions you can use the search function to see if you can find on this web site. There may be times the question can't be answered that way. For those times, you can private message a member who you think could answer your question. You can get an idea of which member could do that by reading the posts he/she wrote to responses to a thread in the forum most related to the question you are asking.

I'm really sorry to hear about your experiences. It sounds really hard. I've taken all the meds you mentioned. I'm a little surprised that the Ativan made you feel paranoid since it is a rather mild anti-anxiety med, but we all have different reactions to medications. That is why it is best to ask the doctor by phone or in person. Or attend a support group where people know a lot about their own med changes and can give you their experiences.

I took Seroquel for a while, mostly for sleep and sedation though it is technically an anti-psychotic. Therefore it will be numbing to some extent. I got off it mostly because of weight gain and found other meds that were more appropriate for my condition, which is not the same as yours.

I strongly believe in medications so would say that until you feel more stablized it is probably not a good idea to go off all meds. We all need help with brain chemistry, but it sometimes takes a while to find the right ones or the right combinations. Hang in there and talk to your doctor so you have the right advice before you do anything.

After I was released I saw my psychologist, and she thinks I have bi-polar depression. She tried me on abilify, and xanax and that only made things worse, it made me restless, twitchy and paranoid. She then tried me on ativan and seroquel xr. The ativan made more paranoid, so I stopped taking it. The seroquel xr has helped me, but I feel so empty inside i'm not sure if it's helping me, or just covering up all my problems, like a bandaid on a sliced artery.
My question is, is it worth it to stay on the seroquel and feel empty, but remain sane, or take a chance and slowly ween myself off of it, to see how I feel drug free? I would really like it if someone with experience with seroquel could give me some advice. I'm on 200mg of seroquel, recently upped from the 150mg I was taking because I had a major panic attack, and was majorly depressed for a few days.[/quote]

It's funny you bring this up, because this is precisely the situation I am in now and I've been thinking about what to do about it lately. My Seroquel dose was increased a few months ago to 150 mg at night and 100 mg in the morning. It had been increased a great deal more than that due to a manic episode and then afterwards I lowered it by 50 mg every week until I settled on what I'm taking now, which is still 50 mg more than I had been taking before.

Point is, since this higher dose I feel far less anxiety which is wonderful. My overall mood and functioning have improved. But I feel, for the first time in my life with medications, that something very important is missing. My 'surface' mood (for lack of a better word) is better, calmer, more socialable. But my deeper feelings seem to have been erased -I just can't find them.

For the moment my plan is to continue on this dose. I don't know if it works this way, or if it will work with me, but what I'm hoping is that once I've experienced what it is like to feel this way for an extended period of time, I will be able to continue to do so on a lower dose --so at some point lower the dose little by little once I feel like I will be able to do so without too negative consequences. I guess I hope that this experience (and what I learn from it) will somehow rewire things or leave a lasting imprint in me so that I will be able to feel this much better on my own. Granted, not eliminating Seroquel entirely, or at least not at first, but with a much lower dose.

The idea is to ultimately continue with the positive things this dose of Seroquel has helped me with, while leaving behind this feeling like I've lost an important part of myself.

This is my 'plan' although I know it's a bit vague. We'll see how things go. I hope this has been of some help.

ultramar

It's funny you bring this up, because this is precisely the situation I am in now and I've been thinking about what to do about it lately. My Seroquel dose was increased a few months ago to 150 mg at night and 100 mg in the morning. It had been increased a great deal more than that due to a manic episode and then afterwards I lowered it by 50 mg every week until I settled on what I'm taking now, which is still 50 mg more than I had been taking before.

Point is, since this higher dose I feel far less anxiety which is wonderful. My overall mood and functioning have improved. But I feel, for the first time in my life with medications, that something very important is missing. My 'surface' mood (for lack of a better word) is better, calmer, more socialable. But my deeper feelings seem to have been erased -I just can't find them.

For the moment my plan is to continue on this dose. I don't know if it works this way, or if it will work with me, but what I'm hoping is that once I've experienced what it is like to feel this way for an extended period of time, I will be able to continue to do so on a lower dose --so at some point lower the dose little by little once I feel like I will be able to do so without too negative consequences. I guess I hope that this experience (and what I learn from it) will somehow rewire things or leave a lasting imprint in me so that I will be able to feel this much better on my own. Granted, not eliminating Seroquel entirely, or at least not at first, but with a much lower dose.

The idea is to ultimately continue with the positive things this dose of Seroquel has helped me with, while leaving behind this feeling like I've lost an important part of myself.

This is my 'plan' although I know it's a bit vague. We'll see how things go. I hope this has been of some help.

ultramar[/quote]
Putting it that way is perfect, it resonated with me almost exactly. Your plan sounds pretty good too. I think i'll stay on it for the recommended period of time and then see how I feel off of it. Thanks for your input.