[Heather11]

I think most people around me would never guess that I have suffered with depression and anxiety since childhood. I was born this way. My sister is the only person who's seen and heard me at my worst breakdowns. *I smile, am personable and friendly at work and the few times I have socialized lately. *People seem to like my sense of humor and think I'm intelligent and attractive and successful. No one knows I am so alone most of the time except for when a boyfriend rarely comes into the picture. I have very few girlfriends to hang out with. I spend weekends by myself because my anxiety holds me back from going out and sometimes even doing the simplest *task. I overwhelm myself with everyday life. I am overly aware of my loneliness*Almost cvery day for the past few years feels like a battle.*I am thin but overeat impulsively and sometimes even plan a binge and struggle with weight. I can't keep myself on track with exercise which I know would help overall. *
I had to end a serious relationship recently and I'm angry about it. I'm still angry about my ex from years ago. I beat myself up over bad choices and I'm really just angry with myself.*
I tried and succeeded for a while with gratitude and positive thoughts but I can't get back there. Its getting harder as I get older. I've adjusted my meds but still can't cope. I feel like time is slipping away and I have too many regrets. I don't know what else to do. Does anyone really beat depression?

[optimize990h]

Hi Heather11.

I understand your situation, I have been struggling with similar issues.
I work on trying to identify thinking distortions(biases in our way of thinking we carry around with us and use daily.) For sometimes, I find the motivation to go outside and get things done, but afterwards, I feel mentally exhausted from wearing my public mask.

Here are some links that might be helpful for you.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/anxiety-panic-phobias/

http://forums.psychcentral.com/anxiety-success-stories/

http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...ccess-stories/

http://forums.psychcentral.com/depression/

http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...ort-group.html

[BurgerQueen]

My husband struggles with exactly the same feelings and stressors. If there is one person in your life who loves you, family or friend, turn to them when you can. It helps to know how much you're loved!!

Originally Posted by Heather11

I think most people around me would never guess that I have suffered with depression and anxiety since childhood. I was born this way. My sister is the only person who's seen and heard me at my worst breakdowns. *I smile, am personable and friendly at work and the few times I have socialized lately. *People seem to like my sense of humor and think I'm intelligent and attractive and successful. No one knows I am so alone most of the time except for when a boyfriend rarely comes into the picture. I have very few girlfriends to hang out with. I spend weekends by myself because my anxiety holds me back from going out and sometimes even doing the simplest *task. I overwhelm myself with everyday life. I am overly aware of my loneliness*Almost cvery day for the past few years feels like a battle.*I am thin but overeat impulsively and sometimes even plan a binge and struggle with weight. I can't keep myself on track with exercise which I know would help overall. *
I had to end a serious relationship recently and I'm angry about it. I'm still angry about my ex from years ago. I beat myself up over bad choices and I'm really just angry with myself.*
I tried and succeeded for a while with gratitude and positive thoughts but I can't get back there. Its getting harder as I get older. I've adjusted my meds but still can't cope. I feel like time is slipping away and I have too many regrets. I don't know what else to do. Does anyone really beat depression?

[brackenbeard]

Originally Posted by Heather11

I think most people around me would never guess that I have suffered with depression and anxiety since childhood. I was born this way. My sister is the only person who's seen and heard me at my worst breakdowns. *I smile, am personable and friendly at work and the few times I have socialized lately. *People seem to like my sense of humor and think I'm intelligent and attractive and successful. No one knows I am so alone most of the time except for when a boyfriend rarely comes into the picture. I have very few girlfriends to hang out with. I spend weekends by myself because my anxiety holds me back from going out and sometimes even doing the simplest *task. I overwhelm myself with everyday life. I am overly aware of my loneliness*Almost cvery day for the past few years feels like a battle.*I am thin but overeat impulsively and sometimes even plan a binge and struggle with weight. I can't keep myself on track with exercise which I know would help overall. *
I had to end a serious relationship recently and I'm angry about it. I'm still angry about my ex from years ago. I beat myself up over bad choices and I'm really just angry with myself.*
I tried and succeeded for a while with gratitude and positive thoughts but I can't get back there. Its getting harder as I get older. I've adjusted my meds but still can't cope. I feel like time is slipping away and I have too many regrets. I don't know what else to do. Does anyone really beat depression?

I've been in a recent battle with anxiety, and have had my bouts of depression. I don't know when it's going to get better, but it will. It always does. It always gets better, but what I'm discovering now... in this particular circumstance it's not the symptoms getting better but it's my writing (or rather that I've re-discovered it). I love to write. I love to create. I know I can get through the rest of my life, because I have that.

You may say well I don't have a thing like that. I didn't start by loving to write. A long time ago I picked up and pen and said I want to create something. It started like that. Passion. Do you have one?

hi welcome to the site.

hope you get the support you want on this forum

[Maven]

Welcome to PsychCentral and I hope you are comfortable here. May you find lots of friends. You can post and chat here whenever you like, so when you're stressing, maybe talking here will help.

[furpal]

(((Heather11)))
hi there I am new here too but I think we are both in a good place. Isnt it wonderful that they have info on this site about what might help us all. I wondered if you have done any cbt courses at all as that can really help people with holding onto anger that can be hurt turned inside. Its hard with relationships as that compounds the hurt and when it happens again its a lot to cope with. Do you think that some counselling might help you perhaps. I think that people do overcome some sorts of depression. And that is possible to do. If you think that your meds aren't working well then that would be a conversation with your doctor to see if something better can be worked out for you. Do not give up, theres things you can work on and your not over the hill yet. There is still time for you to have the happier life than what you have now. Hold on, seek support both here and outside, and be kind to you (not angry) cos you are worth being kind too.

[Heather11]

Thanks, this made me smile because I've always wanted to write. I used to a very long time ago. I've tried on and off but it's difficult to stay focused. I'll keep trying!

[Maven]

We have a lot of people here who like to write. I am trying to get back into it...just got to make myself write something! An article, a short story, a novel? What do you like to write?

[gracez]

Hi Heather, and others - I am also new here and can relate to some of your experiences. I looked up chat / forums for the first time last night and found this. I don't have many friends, or ones I can talk to at the moment, and was just hoping to be able to chat with some people who understand what depression feels like. I don't believe it's going to get better, I've lost that hope. Also I don't have a passion, something that gets me through. All the things I used to enjoy I don't enjoy anymore. Any suggestions?

I'm really glad all of you are "there".

[Ms.FireTgr]

Hey, Heather and friends...
I can 100% relate to everything you have said. I'm mostly lonely though am surrounded by ppl. I guess i shut my self out. I have a big family but can't talk to anyone, cuz they think very differently than me. I have no real relationships either. I spend most my time with my daughter and her heaven sent father. I put most if not all my weight on him. I'm lost too. I am desperately searching for help, in books in experiences, and in therapists... Plz keep your head up and be strength to others

[nitrochazz]

Heather .. I'm new here as well. And haven't posted much. I read your post and it was like I wrote it myself ! I recently had a relationship end badly and it sent me into a downward spiral that is all to familiar . I have struggled my whole life with depression .. and I feel your pain.. don't know if its much help but just know that your not alone.! It sounds a little morbid but I actually get some comfort reading other peoples posts knowing that I'm not alone ! Other people are struggling too. Hang in there and maybe we will all find a way thru this together !