PC Frustrations

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Petunia said:
{{{{ Desirae }}}}

You are not invisible. You are respected.

Sorry your thread went off in this direction...thank you time0 for reminding us why it was started.

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PER DESIRAE......

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desirae said:
I just wanted to say that I didn't mean to point anybody out and say "hey you ignore me you jerk", it's not like that all, I just wanted to say I sometimes feel that way when I post personal problems. It may be that nobody can relate, I understand that, but just knowing people are there helps.

Mainly what I wanted to do with this thread was start a problem solver for everybody, not just me. I wanted everybody to be able to say hey, this bothers me about PC, and make some suggestions as a team.....I didn't intend for this to be all about me....I'm sorry that it seemed that way, but I do appreciate everybody's concern and sympathy.

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So we are all right on target............... per the title of this thread and with the approval of the originator.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

Sorry Peanut ...wasn't about you.... I'm trying not to comment on the fallacies spoken and misconceptions and allow the thread to just go on it's way... though I still feel bashed. Tis Ok. I know to draw a line here... just that I'm human too.

((Rhapsody, TimeO, Petunia, Angie, LMo, Desirae & Sweet Fuzzy))...

I'm sorry, Rhapsody. Did you take offense to that? I was just trying to let her know...after all these many pages...that she was still not invisible, like she originally stated in her first post:

I'd like to start off with my problem. My problem is I feel as though I'm sometimes invisible here, like nobody seems to care to support me, when I make an effort to support others.

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Sorry Peanut ...wasn't about you.... I'm trying not to comment on the fallacies spoken and misconceptions and allow the thread to just go on it's way... though I still feel bashed. Tis Ok. I know to draw a line here... just that I'm human too.

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Of course you are human, ((Sky)), and very much more than that!! It troubles me that you are feeling bashed. If you want to talk it over, and/or if I can help, please don't hesitate to let me know, OK?!

With much fondness,

Peanut

No offense taken, I promise...... you said: "Sorry your thread went off in this direction..." and I just wanted to let every one know that we were all fine and on target with what Desirae wanted with in her thread.

We both just had a honest misunderstanding of each others words.... Its All Good -


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

I do believe we just achieved an example of online communication and how to clarify misunderstandings.

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Petunia said:
I do believe we just achieved an example of online communication and how to clarify misunderstandings.

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w00t w00t for.......................... US!!

Yes, it's wonderful when ppl can actually communicate like adults

I have had no problem with this thread because it's exact;y what I wanted to happen, I wanted people to get whatever problems they have on the table so we can get them solved, as adults of course, which I think ultimately you all have done. When I was mentioning how I felt invisible, that was the problem I face personally that I was putting on the table. I had no idea that this thread would take off the way it did, but I'm relieved it did because we can finally get some issues discussed.

I did not get offended, or felt like the thread left me outside of the topic, this is exactly what I meant to happen, and I'm happy it did.

I just wanted to thank everybody for participating and being appropriate and respectful, that's what makes PC different from all other sites, and that's why, personally, I return.

So no need to apologize, it's seriously okay.

Thanks a lot for all of your support.

Desirae!

<font color="blue"> For MYSELF, Radio_Flyer, Pasdedeux, and anyone else who erroneously thought I was attacking myself's posting: [b]desirae posted in her original post: </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I also feel like sometimes my head gets bit off by mods and other members.

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This is just ONE example of my post NOT referring to what Myself has said, though I was accused of it.
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I'm frustrated that others have misjudged me. I'm also frustrated that, though posters have USED MY NAME in their post, they say they aren't trashing what I said or me. I wished those posts to be edited... but they haven't been. Now THAT'S my referring to admin issues!

I am also frustrated that, just because one member on this thread has touched upon just about everything in the thread, that my also posting on subjects has been taken as attacking that one member. What? Are none of us to continue to post once someone has said it all??? Maybe no one should post at all, but just let the one member respond to all the posts here at PC?

This thread was doing fine until some members turned their attention upon what I was saying instead of addressing the thread...then when others came to my defense, I still received flack as though I had begged the others to come "fight" for me... my"friends" and the "clique".... come ppl gimme a break! You are misjudging me... unfairly. You seem to be able to work through Myself's posts, why not mine????

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Sky}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

B R E A T H ...

Sky.....part of what this thread is about is how different we all are........and responses, at times, aren't thought through......in this case, i think it was a reaction instead of a response.........

hang in there......

perhaps the strength ppl see in you, they misperseive (sp) they may think you are putting on heirs, (we) those of us who know you know that you have insite and because your knowlegde is a possible threat and this is why they act defensive.
People tend to attack those who appear stronger
Have faith my friend
Love
Angie

This has been a GREAT thread for the most part. I think alot of people spoke and alot of understandings/knowledge have come from this thread.

I think we should take what's here and carry it with us in our posting and maybe glance back once in a while to see where another might be coming from when we feel strong feelings about a post...before reacting.

I appreciate the honesty and the opportunity to share and be a part of this in such an accepting way. I have learned much, but most of all feel an even deeper kinship to my "online family". Yep, I think this family meeting went well.

While I do feel that there may have been a couple of misunderstandings, upsets, and swerves, I'm so proud of us and what's been accomplished here. I hope everyone well and healing in moving forward.

See ya's around.

KD

Hi Fuzzbear and all....I am going to address this to you Fuzzy because you were speaking to me on the banning. issue. I have read in the rules or guideline that attacks, harassment etc (and I AM ONLY SPEAKING OF ATTACKING AND HARASSING ANOTHER POSTER NOT differing opinions) can be met with being banned so it is ALREADY in the rules here. Now for me IMO that needs to be *enforced with repeat offenders*. I would hate for you to lose a freind or friends too to banning but I would also hate to see your friends or mine run people off a road due to reckless driving and get away without being ticketed or having their license suspended.
I do not have anyone on ignore and have no reason to place them on ignore yet....but I would HOPE IF I were being attacked that those who attacked me more than once would have to face some type of suspension.

Back to in general

Now on a side note I also hate to see when people say things like *This is not to anyone specific* and then go on to post about someone and expect most not to notice the attempt to jab at said party. It should not be allowed. Its not an opinion or supportive.

I really believe ENFORCING the rules would end a lot of the fights we all hate to see.

I have edited this to add a quote from Dr John in the TOS
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Any conduct by a Subscriber that in Dr. Grohol's sole discretion violates these Terms, restricts or inhibits any other Subscriber from using or enjoying Psych Central or any of its services will not be permitted and may result in Subscriber's account being terminated without notice.

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IMO if the attackers were met with enforcement of this rule would all this unhappiness would end.

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Fuzzybear said:
wow I am not being rude and I don't know you at all..... that does seem a bit harsh to me though, your comment on "banning". I would hate to see a friend of mine, or anyone here really, banned because they were perceived to have started a fight. Sometimes people make mistakes and have disagreements. Like someone else said we are all works in progress....... I know that I am more tolerant now than I used to be.

In my opinion only the two people who are "fighting" know the real truth sometimes Having been a mod here myself (I stepped down due to time constraints) I do know that mods and admin give people the benefit of the doubt when they can. I hope it is not out of line to say this. (if my post needs to be removed I am ok with that)

I am sorry you don't feel very welcome here. All internet boards go in cycles and at the moment this board is having "growing pains". I hope you hang in there with us..... things will get better

I haven't read the rest of the thread yet, but your post struck me. Sorry if this is off topic by now, technically I should wait to read the rest of the thread. I am going out on a branch here though....

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IN DEFENSE OF THE MODS:

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IMO if the attackers were met with enforcement of this rule would all this unhappiness would end.

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These volunteers are under direct direction starting with Doc John and then the other Admin. IMO, it's not up to the membership to tell them what to do or to project our expectations on them.

Doc John has many, many years of experience running a site like this and that should speak for itself. This site is the success that it is because of this experience and direction.

Also IMO, Doc John KNOWS what he means by these Guidelines, not hard and fast rules that are written in stone. It's not up to the general membership to interpret them for him OR the mods.

One main point here. Discussion of Admin Issues is NOT ALLOWED on the board and this is bordering on it. If you think some things should be changed, I would venture to suggest that it be taken up with the mods and then with Admin in PRIVATE. Doc John does listen to us and our needs.

This site isn't run like a pre-school where children are sent to time out because they aren't perfectly behaved. Life is a learning process and most of us are still learning. Learning is allowed and that learning takes place through trial and error.

Yes, it is frustrating when you see rules on a site not "enforced." However, you quoted from the TOS that covers the entire website, not just the community. The Terms of Service are necessarily broader and more direct because of the need there to have effective means of shutting down spammers and others on the site.

You should focus more on the Community Guidelines for the community, since that is what we use as the guiding set of principles here.

Basically, we're not here to be referees to every argument that breaks out between two members. We get tons of people asking us to intervene in such arguments, but frankly it is beyond our means to do so. And frankly, I wouldn't want to do so. We're not here to play that role. We expect most adults to act like adults and find a way to deal with their issues with others, or use the technological functionality we have in place (e.g., ignore).

DocJohn

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DocJohn said:
Basically, we're not here to be referees to every argument that breaks out between two members.

We get tons of people asking us to intervene in such arguments, but frankly it is beyond our means to do so. And frankly, I wouldn't want to do so. We're not here to play that role.

We expect most adults to act like adults and find a way to deal with their issues with others, or use the technological functionality we have in place (e.g., ignore).

DocJohn

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.......

basically, does it boil down to this? if we are a part of the problem, then we're a part of the solution.......living by that premise comes from acceptance, change and maturity when we interact with another poster and their life experiences.....p