[dpadilla89]

i need help and advice.

first of all, i dont believe in abortion or adoption. i think i might be preg. ive liked this guy near my dads house for a while and the first time we get close, stupid me i in the pool. it was hard so i didnt really go in me but before we had oral and prob. still had stuff on him, or in him still. anyways, i weigh about 105 pounds. and i heard from some of my therapists and other people, that i could experience some symptoms earlier because im very thin. heh. idkk. but anyways, like two after this happened...i hvae been alot like the first day, but ive been "going to the bathroom" aka--number two!! i had a headache today, i never get headaches. i have some but not bad heartburn. and i feel sick most of the time. or just a stomache. my stomache feels kinda heavy also which might be cause by my weight. today at work, i had to like push out my stomache a tiny but cuz it felt heavy.....ahhh idkk.

its too early to take a test, i need to wait till like aug. 7th. around that time. my stomache feels heavy though. heh.

and the other bad thingi just thought of, the guy who i messed around with is a twin brother and SO ARE my aunt and uncle.

if i have a baby, im keeping it..but twins? will be veryyyy hard to do. heh...but either way im keeping it.

in a certain odd way, im also kinda excited if i am.
lol.

please guys, i need advice on whether if theres a good chance i MIGHT BE!!!!!! or any other advice ASAP!

thanksss

deb

planned parenthood can help you. They can take a free blood test that can detect pregnancy within two days of the missed period. They also have therapy services and will help you understand all the aptions available and even help hook you up with other free and sliding scale resources.

[PasDeDeux]

I imagine there is a chance but I am in agreement with MYSELF up there and going to PPH for testing would be best and you would know for sure. I doubt you are but ? to be safe get tested.
safe hugs

[dpadilla89]

eh thanks. i mean, to be honest. i think i would like having a baby around and teaching it life and love. so it wouldnt bother me alot.

idkk .lol

deb

[PasDeDeux]

Once you know if you are you can cross the bridge of teaching life and love. It sure sounds like you love kids but you know, they do cost a lot and need medical care and on and on. If you are not maybe you could volunteer your time helping youmg mothers who feel trapped at home with the kids. Sometimes they need a safe person to watch them so they can get away for mental health reasons. Its a win win situation

So did I at age 16. every time I babysat I wanted one or a dozen of my own. Then I grew up met a guy, we purposely planned and had a beautifl child... - wake up time the baby kept not breathing, and was colicy, doctors and WIC told me it would pass stop being a nervious mom, at 4 months baby was admitted to the hospital though he had mild episodes his not breathing I was told fell withing the normal rage stop being a nervious mom, a month later my child was diagnosed with chronic and debilitating asthma where I had to administer by nebulizer (breathing machine) intal and albuterol, and if he stopped breathing in the night - just pinch his toe to make him cry if he's crying he is breathing, then calm him down and give him some albuterol and let him go back to sleep (news flash albuterol on my baby was like medicating with sugar and caffiene. ) So my baby slept in my bed for the next three years being rudely woke up everytime he had an "asthma" attack in his sleep. and then we would spend the next two hours with him sitting on my lap leaning against me trying to not only breath but also sit still while reading - Big, Big brown, Big brown Bear, Big brown bear beautiful babbon....(The B Book) The sun did not shine....(cat and the hat) ...besides learning how to sleep in shifts between asthma attacks he had a great education - By the time my child was three he knew his letters, sounds, and three letter words. Then of course theres the many nidnight rides to the logal urgecare for when his albuterol inhaler was doing no good so he had to be taken in to be nebulized with hospital strength medication. and grow boy did this baby grow every month I was buying him new clothes, shoes and so on and then his growth slowed down to buyiing him new clothes and sneakers every 4 months. he's 13 has he stopped growing yet - nope he is now wearing mens XL at 140pounds and 5 feet tall. Does he still have asthma - yes but the night time stop breathing episodes have now been upgraded to sleep apnea -One consolation he's in foster care and residential treatment program so they can no longer use the excuse of nervious mom syndrom and the system had to buy his medical equipment needed for this.

Babys are fun but with that comes the responsibility that the mom is responsible foreach and everything - food clothing shelter, medical problems, lack of sleep, midnight and 4 am feedings until the baby sleeps through the night. having a baby also takes a huge chunk out of social life. friends that had no children slowly but surely disappear, friends end up being the moms met at WIC, and DHS if on welfare instead of out partying and meeting new friends at the parties because no money left for partying after needed baby/child has been bought, favorite TV shows become Barney, Sesame street, Bambi, 101 Dalmations...

Wait Im ahead of myself here .. I had absolutely no problems with pregnancy, Labor - 5 hours of beginning labor - pains that feel like you got punched in the stomach but not yet active curling your toes, make you feel like you are going to pass out - the active stage lasted 24 plus hours (plus because I ended up dissociating and floating in la laland)

I know this is not what you want to hear but if you are pregnant its what you have ahead of you and you have a better chance of surviving emotionally if you know not only the good side of cudding and holding and loving a baby.

by the way - Planned parenthood also runs teen parenting classes and support groups for teen moms from time to time.

[Maven]

Yeah, I agree with going to Planned Parenthood. Babies cost a lot of money, and you can easily spend $9,000-11,000 in the first year, for diapers, formula, baby furniture, clothing, baby gear, etc. The father should contribute his share, too, both financially and in being a dad.

I hope you're not pregnant. I recommend using a condom in the future, if you don't want kids, and also to prevent disease.

i hope that you aren't pregnant. and there are tests that can tell you two days after your missed period........have you missed a period?

none of your symptoms sound like pregnancy to me. and your stomach certainly wouldn't be "sticking" out now. your breasts will start being sore and other such symptoms.

when did you have the sexual encounter? i may have missed that date in your post and i'm too tired to scroll back to it........pat p.s. i certainly recommend condoms and birth control pills from now on, if you aren't pregnant. loving children doesn't mean you'd be a mother. you're awfully young and you have no idea how much work a baby is. your life, as you know it, will be over if you do keep the baby.

[StargazerLily]

I, also hope that you arent pregnant. I've been in this same spot a few times this past year. I'm 17, btw. So when was this encounter, just within the past week? You surely wouldnt be experiencing symptoms THIS soon. No matter how thin you are.

Okay, I've never wanted kids, so it might be different between you and me but have you thought about if you're financially stable for a kid? Are you mentally and emotionally stable for this? Would your family be accepting of this? I know girls from high school that have been put out of their house for this exact reason. Do you think you are ready to put someone else's needs before yours, 24 hours a day, every day, for 18 years? Cause I've never wanted kids, I dont really understand your happiness, but please just look at the realistic side of things.

You said you work, does your job pay enough to be able to afford baby things? Babysitters, since you'll have to actually work to get the money for that stuff.

And from what you described, if this was in the past few days, I really highly doubt that you are pregnant. I agree with fayerody with using condoms/birth control, and that your life will be over. Dont you go to school, to balance school, work, AND a baby? What about college, dont you hope for something more than this?

But thats all I have to say, take it for what its worth..keep us updated..

[wi_fighter]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
but anyways, like two after this happened...i hvae been alot like the first day, but ive been "going to the bathroom" aka--number two!!

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Two what? Two days, two weeks?

You start urinating more during pregnancy, but not right away. I don't recall having more frequent BMs with either of my kids. Your breasts get sore and heavy, but not two days afterwards. You have to wait until August 7 to find out if your pregnant why? When was your last period? When did you have sex? You normally ovulate at the halfway mark between the first day of your last period and the first day of your next period. There's a window of a couple days before and after the mid point where pregnancy can happen as well. I don't know how long sperm will last in a swimming pool outside of the body. Anyone else know? I'm thinking the pool chemicals are going to kill them pretty quickly. If he wasn't in you and didn't ejaculate, I'm thinking any sperm that were still on him didn't live too long in the pool water. As far as still in him, well, yeah, that goes without saying. Unless he's sterile now or becomes so in the future, he's going to have "stuff" in him for the rest of his life.

Both of my pregnancies were easy. I had a short labor with my daughter, really short. I went from feeling slightly restless at 2:00 a.m. to her being born at 9:30 a.m. I was at 9 cm and in transition when I arrived at the hospital (that's just about the closest to delivery I could have been without having delivered her in the car during the 10-minute drive). Within 45 minutes of arriving at the hospital, they'd gotten me signed in, in a room, changed into a gown, and telling me to push. They had to screw a heart monitor into my daughter's head through my vagina. Her pulse kept stopping because labor was too strong, too fast. They were worried I was going to lose her and were thiiiiis close to doing an emergency C section.

My son had other ideas. I started feeling that same restless feeling more than 24 hours before he was born. I went to the hospital about 12 hours later, after putting in nearly a full day of work and trying to take care of my 2-year-old daughter since my husband didn't believe I was as uncomfortable as I was. At 10:00 p.m., I was only at 1 cm. Six-plus hours later I'd still barely dilated. You need to be at 10 cm to start pushing. The student nurse came in to "check to see how far you're dilated." I told her "you're not going to find my cervix there." Her - "Yes I am." Me - "NO, you're NOT." I kept telling them that my water hadn't broke yet. They insisted it had. My doctor finally arrives 8 hours after I got to the hospital. His first words - "Her water hasn't broken yet." He popped the amniotic sac and my son was born half an hour later. I went through almost 9 hours of in-hospital labor and had to put up with an idiotic nurse who couldn't tell the difference between a rectum and a vagina, a husband who was telling me to stop moving around so much and having my butt stick out of the gown, and who told the nurses that "that injection really took the edge off of her pains." Yeah, right, like HE knew. All because no one would listen to me and just break my damn water or call the doctor in earlier.

Then came the nonstop feedings and diaper changes and baths and laundry that I had to do 90% on my own because my husband had some messed up idea that moms are supposed to do everything. (He might have done some laundry. Everything else was up to me). Constantly being woken up because I was breast feeding and she was a slow eater. When she wasn't eating at night, my husband was trying to get me to have sex. Three weeks after delivery, my doctors were begging me to come back to work because the other transcriptionists weren't doing their dictation correctly. Same routine all over with my son.

If I remember correctly from past posts, your family isn't very supportive of you as it is. Are they going to become more supportive when there's an unplanned pregnancy in the family? Are you ready to be a full-time mom at 17? Are you ready for no more sleep and frequent doctor visits and no more time or money for yourself. How much does that cashier job pay? $5.50 an hour maybe? Day care 15 years ago was $150 a week. That's 27 hours of work, pre tax, just to take care of the baby while you're working that job. That gives you 13 hours of your weekly paycheck to cover food, clothes, housing, transportation, diapers, formula (or extra-healthy food if you decide to breast feed).

Don't assume that you will get help from the father and the families. If you don't get their support, can you REALLY take care of one or more babies within the next year, for the next 18 years, more if they have any kind of medical or developmental difficulties?

Having a baby isn't like playing with dolls or babysitting. It's WORK. Unpaid work that you have to do on top of the work that pays a wage.

I seriously hope you aren't pregnant and that this will scare you into being more careful in the future. From my own experience, though, sex makes one stupid more often than not and any thoughts of being safe tend to fly out the window.

[sujunew]

hi there!
just thought i'd add my 2-cents worth... sorry about more negativity and my sad life bio but the 1st thing i thought of when reading your post was my experiences of post-natal depression. Suffering from severe depression for years, as well as borderline personality disorder, I have suffered terribly from PND after each pregnancy. After my 1st I was also diagnosed with PTSD as a result of all the trauma suffered as a result of the pregnancy, birth and her heart surgery + complications after. My 2nd was stillborn so that caused even more major problems. And my youngest has just turned 2 (last month) yet I am still on all the meds I was put on after being admitted to hospital when she was 5mths old after an overdose of sleeping tablets (I was desperate for a few hours of unbroken sleep)... ended up with severe depression with major psychotic episodes diagnosis and went through more than 25 lots of ECT, being separated from no1 for 4mths, and so much more. I am still not doing great (but 100x better than 2 yrs ago), and have had to have my tubes tied so as to ensure no more pregnancies- mostly because of the effect they have had on my mental health (I am still mid-20's, and newly single so this will have a huge impact on future romances). For 2-3 years before I married and had my kids I had many pregnancy scares, and thought that I would love to have a child, and thought I had it all sussed and prepared for. I look back now and realise that I never considered all this other stuff, like what has been said already by myself, wi-fighter and the other members as well as what I went through. I also hope that this is just a scare and that you are not pregnant- you will need so much support if you are, and I hope that there will be plenty of help and support available to you. Outside help is all very well (this is what I have had to rely on for 98% of the time) but parental and partner support goes so much further; not that I have much experience with that!
Good luck and please let us know what is happening with you.
xxx irish

[bebop]

I had my daughter 2 months after I turned 16. Gosh I lost my youth! I also do not agree with abortion. That is a life. But I do believe in adoption. There are alot of people in the world that can not have children. It would be far better to give up a child than to let it starve or do without things they really need in life!

I really hope you are not pregnant! It is not easy being a parent at any age much less at 16. I can not even begin to tell you how hard it really is. Like the others have said it is alot of work. How will you afford to raise this child for 18 yrs? I seriously doubt you are pregnant.

[desirae]

Okay, well this is difficult sure, but I'm a strong believer when I say that young mothers are just as capable of being awesome mothers as older women.....so if you are pregnant and decide to keep your baby that's a good decision for you.

You can't really tell if your pregnant until you have a test. I know there was a time when I was 16 when I thought I was pregnant (I wasn't thank god!), but every sign and symptom I would take to heart because I was waiting and waiting.

Until you get your test to be 100% sure, don't smoke, drink, or do anything dumb....be safe till you know.

I hope this boy is a decent guy, that way if you are he will help you.

What about your parents, what would they do if you are pregnant? Would they be angry?

I hope, I know this may make me sound like a *****, but I hope you are not pregnant because there is plenty of time for that later....you need to enjoy your youth while you can.

But if you are, I believe you would do well, and hopefully you would receive all the support you can get.

Perhaps the most important thing out of all this is: What are you missing in your life that would cause you to want a child??? Please think about that because without working on that, you may keep "trying" when that isn't the ultimate answer.

[(JD)]

http://www.yppo.com/programs.html Free help in New Jersey and other States.

http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/links.php Adoptive agencies around the country

http://www.focusas.com/Programs.html

http://www.pregnancy.org/phpBB2/viewforum.php?f=43

I applaud you in not considering abortion... do reconsider adoption though... it's ok. TC

[Maven]

I also want to add, since I assume you're still living with your parents, that wouldn't be fair to them, for you to bring a baby into their home.

[dcs_no1_fan]

im sorry 2 read what u have put at such a young age

were all here if u want 2 talk please take a test as soon as u can & let us kno what the results r t.c

[bebop]

If my young daughter came to me and said she was pregnant I would not think it unfair of her to bring a baby into my home! it is her home too. Just because one makes a mistake does not make parents turn their backs.

[dcs_no1_fan]

I total agree with u bebop

u shouldnt turn ur back on ur kids no matter what they have done my mum didnt like it when i told her at the age of 21 yrs that i was pregnant & i had been married for 4 yrs by then

[bebop]

I was pregnant at 15. I went thru all the arguments with my parents. that was 33 years ago...I felt so unwanted...suggestions made at the time were: abortions. weren't legal in Ga then and I don't believe in them....home for unwed mothers. I know that feeling!!! it hurt. yes I made a huge mistake. but then I needed mom and dad.

[dcs_no1_fan]

I was lucky even with my mum tellin me how i would regret it in later life she was there 4 me untill she found out that i had lost 2 b 4 my oldest son but i still got it in the neck that i was doing wrong i now have nothin 2 do with her & my boys dont even kno who she is if they c her in the street but thats up 2 her she can always get in touch with them

[weather]

Good luck to you. I hope it works out well. My parents knew a couple who got married when the girl was 16 and pregnant. The man was 18 with only a pickup, $38,00 and a warrent for his arrest. He joined the service, they got married, raised three children and stayed together until he died last year. I don't know your situation, but sometimes things work out. Adoption is a good alternative too.

[Maven]

I didn't say her parents should throw her out. I just said it's unfair to the parents. They may not want any more children to raise in their home. That doesn't mean they wouldn't step up and help out, but it's not fair to put that pressure on them, when they own the home or pay the rent. It's part of being responsible...realizing your actions don't affect just you.

[sujunew]

just wondering if anyone has heard from dpadilla and whetheror not she is pregnant??? Just to let you know dpadilla that you are not alone, and that whatever the pregnancy result is you will probably feel lots of emotions esp as you sounded so keen on having a baby. GL

[Lexicon78]

(((((dpadilla)))))