What does 'Support' mean to you?

We all need it sometimes ... or I guess we wouldn't be here :P

I suppose I am wondering ... what does it mean?

For me here it means a bit of venting ... IRL i guess understanding friends (although I don't really tell people) ...

For you?

support means to me that a poster is really listening to my pain and "walks with me" when i am struggling......

to me giving support is lending a shoulder to cry on or lean on. recieving support is doing the crying on...someone to listen to you

For me, support means not being alone in my experiences. Being able to share it and having another's presence. Supportive presence is a support.
Supportive presence would mean the person is present and allows me to be, is with me, kind of like holding my hand. As opposed to dismissing, invalidating, telling me not to feel the way I do, etc.
(Non-supportive presence is a whole different story....)

For the most part I have found most of my interactions, irl or here, supportive. I guess that's cuz I stay away from the non-supportive ones....yeah, that's one of the ways I pracice self-care.

support to me means many things

for example there is the support of clothing that is a support for various parts of the body and in that case I mean hold up what belongs up and hold in what belongs in.

Then theres the kind of support from family - a place to stay when needed, a mothers shoulder to cry on when needed, a sister/buddy/partners in crime for midnigh swims and when we could not sleep and needed a midnight chat, brushing each others hair and teaching reading with the book "jaws" LOL and so on.

Then theres my friends and they support me in many ways -

Ive had friends that were in the labor room holding my hand, offering to french braid my hair, rocking with me (and pulling back muscles in the process for me),

Friends that went to battle with and for me when I went public even though they were also threatened and so on by those that wanted me to go back to the being shy, quiet, keep the secrets little girl,

Friends that went into prisons, churches, Jr and High school classes, college classes, the kwanis clubs, task forces, TV, comunity workshops, and many more public speaking engagements with me be it to tell of their abuse or be it to hold my hand while I spoke,

Ive had friends that gave me a place to stay and loaned me money and co signed for me when I moved across country,

Friends that took care of my child when I needed a break.

Friends that who sit on the sidelines watching me grow from a victim into a survivor and offering their shoulder and advice when they can. be it middle of the night or during the day.

friends who help research and so on when a DHS caseworker was breaking federal, state, and county laws and rules of guidelines and ethics,

Friends that dig right in with me on my therapy projects and research.

Friends I can call no matter the time or problem
friends I can write to no matter the time or the problem
Friends that will cut a 15 -20 minute drive down to 5 minutes flat if needed. Day or night, be it I got hit by a car while biking or my just needing to talk or vent.

Support is also my family physician of 11 and a half years who considers himself family so much so that he has no problem sitting down and putting things rught out there good and bad the way he sees it. and my child and I both also consider him "family". We can call him at 7am and by 8 be told get your butt up here for 8:30- 9:00.

Support is also LL who will do what ever it takes for me even taking situations to mediation when her co workers are trying to force her into doing something she does not think is right for me. Even if it means attending meetings where there is a possibility where others will not treat me right, and then sit there and let me fire at a lawyer who was taking advantage of me and my mental problems to the point of making decisions based on his personal opinions instead of the law. being open minded and willing to try new things no matter how untraditional and off the wall the ideas that I come up with are. Thanks LL

Support is also E my back up incase LL is not available. Though I have never actually met E she has been like a guardian angel. going up against that DHS caseworker, and making sure everything is on track with my therapy plans and offering questions and advice when she can.

Support is the many professionals and survivors out there that lend their ears, life stories, ideas and expertise so that I know that I am not alone and have the factual varifyable truth that has enabled me to heal by leaps and bounds both as a survivor of child sexual abuse and as a person with DID.

Like I said I have many ideas of what support means to me..

Nice post myself

Thanks

<font color="purple">Good question....

Support for me means many different things....

1. Someone that listens to my complaints, vents, secrets, opinions, feelings, thoughts
2. Someone that is willing to just sit with me in silence if need be
3. Someone that who at least tries to understand when they can't really relate
4. Someone that shares their opinions, experiences, gives sound advice when needed
5. Someone that is willing to explore all sides
6. Someone who may not understand but cares enough to help in other ways
7. Acceptance

probably a few more .... </font>

ONE way to support ALL people here is to remember that ALL of us are dealing with Mental Illness in one way or the other; if not ourselves personally, then someone in our life, be it here on the board or in 3D.

Having a Mental Illness doesn't give anyone the right to be hurtful to anyone, including ourselves.

"If you don't have something nice to say, don't say it!" Or at least, find a polite and understanding way of saying it. PLEASE!

Something else important to remember; it's not ALWAYS about "ME"! There's too many of us here for that to be true.

.... "unconditional caring"......

Being understood from my side of the fence.... from the shoes that I have been made to walk in and not those of another. To be able to speak honestly about how I am feeling at the moment (right or wrong) and not have my words stuffed back down my throat.

Being loved and wanted for me as I am, faults and all.
Having some one care enough to encourage me to change that which I must and yet being patient enough to wait with out anger or hate, as I work through the process - at my pace and as I might stumble along the way.

To have my friends be secure enough with me that they can openly give me corrective criticism, with out fear of losing our friendship and vise versa...... always done with in LoVe.

LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

For me, support is listening, and acknowldeging me... and generally being compassionate, but also giving advice or feedback if appropriate.

Just not being put down for my feelings and thoughts.

not being ridiculed, dismissed, pushed aside, railroaded, or told that whatever is being expressed isn't important, doesn't matter, is trivial, stupid, or something that we should be over already or something we're trying to make into a fuss.

to us support means the above WON'T HAPPEN.

to us support means that even if someone doesn't understand or doesn't agree that they still listen, respectfully, to what is being expressed.

but we know life and this site are not about unconditional support so from time to time to have negative experiences with support is good as it shows us TRUE LIFE and the reality of ppl and their shortcomings and their humanity or lack thereof.

as a human in progress we appreciate the lessons even if at the time they're crushing and painful. at least we can learn from those who aren't supportive or kind the same way we learn from those who embody the very essences of support and kindness.

to us when an intentional lack of support is shown we think of it like a hot pan on the stove---don't touch! i.e. we turn to our pal the ignore button!

Support to me means first and foremost somebody giving me a reality check. If I'm either being too hard on myself or not trying hard enough. If I'm putting somebody/something else down to make myself feel better or superior to them. Support is somebody calling me on my own mind games that I play within my own head or unintentionally/intentionally with somebody else.
Support is someone helping me to be who I truely am and not letting me "get away" with nonsence that will only make me feel bad about myself or give me an excuse to fail/be disappointed in myself later on.
I use to think support was something that allowed me to cry and act how I felt I needed to and have the understanding and sympathy of the person who supported me and they would be there regardless to show me how right I am to cry, be angry or stubborn about it but it's not what I believe anymore.
Support is honesty, with a touch of compassion, humor (the ability to help me to laugh at myself), understanding and a lot of stregnth.
I don't want somebody to help me carry my wrongs-I'd rather someone help teach me how to unload them so that I may focus more on stregnthening my rights.

Very well said Jax.

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Jax2923 said:
Support to me means first and foremost somebody giving me a reality check. If I'm either being too hard on myself or not trying hard enough. If I'm putting somebody/something else down to make myself feel better or superior to them. Support is somebody calling me on my own mind games that I play within my own head or unintentionally/intentionally with somebody else.
Support is someone helping me to be who I truely am and not letting me "get away" with nonsence that will only make me feel bad about myself or give me an excuse to fail/be disappointed in myself later on.
I use to think support was something that allowed me to cry and act how I felt I needed to and have the understanding and sympathy of the person who supported me and they would be there regardless to show me how right I am to cry, be angry or stubborn about it but it's not what I believe anymore.
Support is honesty, with a touch of compassion, humor (the ability to help me to laugh at myself), understanding and a lot of stregnth.
I don't want somebody to help me carry my wrongs-I'd rather someone help teach me how to unload them so that I may focus more on stregnthening my rights.

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For me it means something I could use MORE OF down in Abuse. I value all the support I have received but can and NEED more. Can anyone understand that? Some were told by PM to not post to me. I guess they didn't think that I would be let in on that. Would you like that to be YOU NEXT? I don't think so

I can understand that. Even if something happened in the past, I think everyone deserves the chance to be who they are now. I prefer to make my own mind up about people, it's a lot healthier that way! Although I do value trusted friends' input too.....

I don't often post in Abuse, that is the reason why I haven't posted to you there...(triggering for me and I usually find other people have said what I would have wanted to say)

Last night I was here and saw this...I just didn't know how to respond or say what I thought support was...so here goes:

Support to me is being there for me when I need someone the most in a caring, understanding, and compassionate way. Someone who tries to share their past without doing the whole one-upmanship thing at the same time or making it sound like they're better than you in some way.

Honesty is very important, too. If you're just trying to be nice about something and not tell me the truth then that doesn't help me much at all. And don't use sarcasm!

Being assertive is an important thing with me. So when someone's assertive with me then I value that a lot. So that is really something that I consider a good part of support...the assertiveness.

Ok, that's all I can think of right now.

Support to me is helping me regain the self respect I have lost so that I can stand on my own two feet...I want to do that so much...but feel right now I am unable to...Any kind word of encouragement is support...lending an ear and just letting someone vent, is support...giving someon an icon smile...is the support I need most of all...