Phrases You Are Tired of Hearing

• "Chemical imbalance"

• "Feel good hormone/neurotransmitter"

• "Fake it until you make it."

• "Classic depression/anxiety" (New Pdoc diagnosed me this, kept calling me "classic." That may be so, but also felt like I wasn't being treated like an individual.)

• And pretty much anything said in the relentless anti-depressant commercials.

Do you guys have anything to add to this list? Things that you are just tired of hearing? Let's all be a little cynical right now.

"It gets better"
"don't let her get to you"
"I understand exactly how you feel", "just chose to be happy"
"just keep yourself entertained and you won't feel that way"
"Just don't cut/just eat more/just eat less/just take care of yourself! It's not that hard!"

I don't hear that from doctors/therapists, just from (mostly) well meaning people who don't have any training.

Oh and I also despise the word "coping". I'm not really sure why. I don't want to "cope". I want to thrive. "Cope" sounds like making peace with with sub par life. Plus it just feels horrible in my mouth. I know I'm crazy for hating that word, I just can't stand it.

Amen!!

I don't want to 'manage' a 'productive life' with depression and anxiety. I want a life without it.

I am getting very tired of "It is what it is", it's being used for Everything, including those things we CAN/SHOULD change. And I'd like to get the corporate widget talk out of health care. People who are in a facility they have no choice to be in are NOT "consumers". "closure"=********. "You need closure".....AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH I'm not a big fan of coping depending on how it is used. I once held that term against a nurse practitioner for years; the first words she ever said to me when she walked in the room (and we had never met) was "So. What is it? You just can't cope?" YIKES

Just pull yourself together. Just snap out of it. Etc.

How are you? - when people know you're mentally ill, don't want a proper and are just asking it as a social nicety. WHY ARE YOU ****ING ASKING ME A QUESTION THAT YOU DON'T WANT THE ACTUAL ANSWER TOO!

I hate the obvious, what's-wrong-with-this-picture where the TV advertisements for medical "conditions", the side-effects of the medicine is worse than the condition. Why do the pharmaceutical companies keep advertising that on TV? Why do the doctors keep suggesting some of that junk? I had to tell my doctor more than once that I don't take any medication that has a side effect of death! (Truly, one of my possible asthma meds, you can die from an asthma attack caused by taking it!).

UHHH!

Pretty much any platitude, slogan, or popular expression with the underlying message that personal or emotional problems can be fixed with enough determination/will-power. The corresponding message there is that lack of ability to fix your "problems" is somehow a moral or character flaw.

It always seems as though they come from the mouths of people who've not been where some of us have.

"Don't let the past dictate your future"

"Those events are in the past. Your safe now"

"Lots of people have it worse than you"

"Lots of people would love to have your life"

"It is part of your symptoms"
"Well we do hear of other patients doing that too"
"Did you ever think about us when you're feeling down?"
"Take your meds, you'll feel better."
"Patients this.. patients that.." (I am a patient, yes, BUT IM ALSO HUMAN PLEASE DONT INVALIDATE ME D: )
"Just be happy!!!" (if it was so easy to be happy, there won't be such thing as depression. We'd all choose happiness)

And the classic...

"there's no such thing as mental illness. you're just weak. just be happy!"

I hate that phrase, "It is what it is!" Have heard this incessantly at my job, since it's the byword our principal uses constantly. It means NOTHING!

I hate the word cope on every level possible. "You need to develop more coping skills" no I don't. A "coping skill" is something you do to distract from your current emotional state. I don't want a distraction. If there is a giant hole in the wall, I don't want to decorate the space around the hole to draw attention from the damage. I want to cover or fill the hole. I guess SI would be kinda like seeing a giant hole in the wall and proceeding to light the sofa on fire.

But "it is what it is" is horrible. Like no ****ing s*** it is what it is! What else could it possibly be? And what the hell is it anyway? I wish teachers would respond to their students like that. "Ms. Teacher, what's an automobile?" "Well, an automobile is an automobile". Wow, thank you for imparting such deep knowledge on me. My understanding of the world around me has been totally changed and I'm suddenly okay with every tragedy that has ever happened to me ever.

There are many I hate, Here are a few.

One of my biggest pet peeves when I was younger was the onslaught of invalidation from my own mother when I did tell her how I feel, which was and still is rare.

Me: "I dont know Just feeling really kinda down and depressed... I dont know why"
Mom: "Oh Must be cause of work".
Me: "No mom its not work"
Mom: "Well Maybe it is because School starts soon?"
Me: "No Mom"
-----------------
Me: *being angry/upset about something*
Mom: I dont see why you are so angry, you really need to stop having a chip on your shoulder.

Always blaming feelings on an object or thing instead of and choosing to ignore my feelings versus seeing that they were real pains for me.

Others:
"You Just need to be more positive"
"Life isn't that bad, you are just overreacting"
"You turned out just fine"

I know there is more.

"feelings aren't facts"
"sit with it"
"building new neural pathways"

of course some of these, esp. "it gets better" then i feel bad because it hasn't...in a year

it will pass

pull yourself up

try harder

find something to distract yourself

I agree with everything above! A few others that really get to me are:

"Whatever"
"Why dont you take a walk at the beach"
"Smile"
"You be the good one" (what in the eff does that mean?!)

Oh, and my favorite from my mother when I was frustrated, in tears, angry and/or upset "Just go look at yourself in the mirror"

"You can't be cured, but you can learn to manage your disorder."

"You don't look sick. Why are you on disability?"

"Mental illness is like diabetes."

The one I have been hearing lately....There is help out there. Where is out there? and the one I have always hated .....It will get better if you only try. Will I have been trying for years and I still haven't figured out what "it" is, so how can "it" get better?

One that used to bother me was a mental health worker saying "You need to..." when what was meant was "I need you to..."

That kind of thing does not bother me as much now: it is their mistake, and I can let them have it!

Hang in there, it will all be over soon

Stay strong

You need to put this all behind you and move on with your life

You're going to be fine.

It's just a phase.

You just need courage.

What are you so afraid of?? (of which I'd like to answer I don't know, because if I knew, I wouldn't be going to freaking therapy)

"Your illness is lying to you"

"you aren't really ill if you don't need to take meds" (and other phrases that sound like pissing contest).

"kindling theory"

"brain scans show that..."

"anosognosia"

"people with MI have no control over our behaviour"

me: 'the truth is I can't for sure that I'll ever be stable enough to return to work/volunteer regularly/attend school and I am tired of fighting it. I just want to learn to live life and make it as good as I can.'
them: 'that's negative thinking. Who says you won't get better?'
me: *facepalm*

'If you prayed/meditated enough, your spiritual condition would be fit and you would be fine.' (AA members)

"It's all good."

I hate the following:

Just pull yourself up by your bootstraps.

You need to just give your 24 hours to be depressed and then get over it.

It's mind over matter. Put your mind over depression.

"Have a good one!" A good what?