[IndieVisible]

I hope this is the best section to post this, I considered the relationship section, but I don't seek help or support for this issue. I just want to know how common it is. How many of you here don't have any friends or long term friends. Work associates do not count unless you see them out of work too. AND ACTUALLY PREFER IT THAT WAY?

I find people bore me quickly and I really don't care what they have to say or what's going on in their lives, nor would I ever share my personal experiences with them. It's not a social phobia or any thing like that. I'm not afraid or stressed out, just honestly don't really care for any people. Oh sure I can fake it pretty good if I have to, smile and pretend I care about their pathetic lives, meanwhile looking at my watch to see how much longer I have to put up with this meaningless small talk.

Any one else like this? Or can relate? Or am I a total freak?

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by IndieVisible

Or am I a total freak?

You opened yourself up on this one...

Not ALL people are in the categories you mention as being undesirable. After all, you are here; you must find some of us of interest.

[tealBumblebee]

While not like you, I can sort of relate. I'm in the middle.

I have 6 people I call friends. But even them I don't talk to daily (i've met up with them (different ones at different times) four times this year) And I am quite content with that. I know they are my "friends" though and it took us about 7 years to get where we are today.

They are good friends (at least more than I expect from anyone) but they aren't generally "there for me". I'm usually private about my problems and they allow me to tell them things in there own time and don't push to know more than I tell them. While this backs up your theory about "not caring about others pathetic lives" - this is the best kind of friend for me. I get highly irritable around people who pay too much attention to me. So I guess thats why we just work well together.

The dependant part of me appears when i'm with them and I love them dearly and am always in awe at how easily they accept me but in the back of my mind i'm always still cautious about managing my behavior/moods/thoughts around them. Basically they are as good a friend as i'll ever allow myself to have.

However, I have no interest in making new friends. I tend to talk to people for a little while and then slowly stop talking to them for a year, then two, then ever. And should these friendships end up somehow not working out either - I have absolutely no interest in making any more.

I've talked with T about this. The schizotypal part of me craves isolation and she says that it is abnormal to want to be alone as much as I do. I went on to tell her how we were born alone, will die alone, and thus should be able to survive alone. And she went on to tell me about this research on orphan babies who died when they weren't touched/held (there were too many of them and they were fed and changed but no more attention was paid to them and they simply did not thrive).

So maybe we are supposed to have friends/relationships - but most times I feel its best not to.

I don't think anyone really cares completely about anyone elses lives but their own. Some may care more than others, but in the end its all about self satisfaction. Friendships/relationships suck. And they usually aren't worth having. I don't think you're a freak at all.

[Nobodyandnothing]

My "friends" got going when the going got tough. No more friends for me.

[ARainyDawn]

I don't want any either. I don't trust anyone enough for them to become a friend.

[IndieVisible]

Originally Posted by pachyderm

You opened yourself up on this one...

Not ALL people are in the categories you mention as being undesirable. After all, you are here; you must find some of us of interest.

Cyber "friends" are different. I can turn them off any time I want

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by tealBumblebee

I don't think anyone really cares completely about anyone elses lives but their own. Some may care more than others, but in the end its all about self satisfaction. Friendships/relationships suck.

Having them can produce a certain amount of self-satisfaction, though.

[IndieVisible]

Friends do come in handy when your moving, but they never know when to leave!

i'm much better off without friends

can't hold a friendship together to save my life- so it's best if i just forget about it

[Thorn Bird]

HI! I choose my friends carefully - if I were to feel bored or just disinterested I would of course be civil but I wouldn't want them as friends. My motto has always been quality not quantity. Good friends are hard to find and when I find them I keep them. I am happy to socialise and be friendly - but that I think is different! We are all unique and therefore must be attracted to a certain kind of person who shares your interests, values, and is basically on your wave length

[Smarter]

I have many friends but sometimes also I'm not ready to share my emotions and feelings with them, sometimes it lasts for months..

[ToeJam]

I went through phases in my youth when I pushed away friends as it interfered with my self loathing I guess. I also didn't want anyone being hurt by my actions... was fuzzy logic.

Now, I am grateful for each friend I have.

[IndieVisible]

I grew up with a lot of friends, it was fun we all shared the same things in common, and we all got in trouble together. We partied, broke in to places, hung out at the park, got in fights, lots of stuff. It was fun. But as I got older I became more and more a loner, by choice I might add. Not because I felt I didn't deserve friends or to be happy, but because I preferred being a loner. The perfect job for me is sales. Because I can be many things to different people and put on a great performance, and pretend I like them, and never have to see them again. Perfect. Now that I am older, I do wish I kept in touch with a couple of friends, but my closest friends are either dead, or moved out of state.

[healingme4me]

My real close friends are few. And I mean close friends, those that I can call up chat with.

I do have a couple work friends, that I see outside of work, by choice. My bff, we roomed together, three years in college. She's as close to me, as friends come.

Most people, are just acquaintances. Probably, this is all, by choice.

I had been friends, with a former neighbor, but she moved several states away. You know real friends, by those you can call up, and ask to mind the kids in a pinch. That number is 0. My bff, lives far away, she would.

[ECHOES]

Some people enjoy solitude. I enjoy friends and some socializing, but I don't have a desire to befriend people. Casual contact suits me fine. I'm a person who needs quiet.

It can be an aspect of the Schizoaffective Personality, which is not psychotic although the name sounds like it. It exists on a continuum and I think the degree to which we want to have others in our lives is related to where on the continuum we lie.

[Atypical_Disaster]

Originally Posted by ECHOES

It can be an aspect of the Schizoaffective Personality, which is not psychotic although the name sounds like it. It exists on a continuum and I think the degree to which we want to have others in our lives is related to where on the continuum we lie.

You're thinking of Schizoid personality disorder. Schizoaffective disorder is a psychotic disorder with a mood disorder component added on.

[ADDithers]

Originally Posted by IndieVisible

I hope this is the best section to post this, I considered the relationship section, but I don't seek help or support for this issue. I just want to know how common it is. How many of you here don't have any friends or long term friends. Work associates do not count unless you see them out of work too. AND ACTUALLY PREFER IT THAT WAY?

I find people bore me quickly and I really don't care what they have to say or what's going on in their lives, nor would I ever share my personal experiences with them. It's not a social phobia or any thing like that. I'm not afraid or stressed out, just honestly don't really care for any people. Oh sure I can fake it pretty good if I have to, smile and pretend I care about their pathetic lives, meanwhile looking at my watch to see how much longer I have to put up with this meaningless small talk.

Any one else like this? Or can relate? Or am I a total freak?

I can't say I don't care about people, but I don't like spending the energy it takes to interact, so in the middle of a conversation I am conscious of how I wish I were somewhere else & I could press the "disappear" button & poof! I'd be gone -

And furthermore, if..... (Poof!)

[wisedude]

I am a people orientated person. Having said that there are lots of people in society I DONT LIKE.

I have a lot of friends (but I also consider most of them like family), mostly female. But they are not at all typical members of society- all have struggled a great deal in life.

Pretty much everyone I know has ADHD, BPD or both (diagnosed in some but not all of them).

Most my friends are female and a lot younger, but I also have a very good friend who is 65.

90% of the women I know are bisexual, for some reason.

I am happy that if something happened to me, many people would mourn me.

Live with two women (young, pretty) and a 4 year old child.

I don't know if you are totally serious OP, maybe you are hurt, and trying to act a bit "tough" ie "I don't need anymore- screw people" etc. However if you are totally genuine there are some people that are not very social or people orientated.

[avlady]

My schitzo affective i think holds me back from meeting new people and hanging on to old ones. I lost all of them when i was dignosed, i don't know if it made any difference, but i though at the time my friends were ashamed to be seen with me, that was what I thought. I don't want people judging me, so i stay as much away from people in new situations as much as possible. I don't know if it really matters or not but i did lose most of my friends when i got into a relationship with my ex and had a child by him, he is also mentally ill, put me through soo much, i lost all conact with all my friends because i basically dumped all my good friends and we all just lost contact because i wasn't around anymore because I changed my whole social life by not communicating anymore. Lastly i am married now for 18 years this month, to a different guy, not to my ex.

[Perna]

Originally Posted by ADDithers

I can't say I don't care about people, but I don't like spending the energy it takes to interact, so in the middle of a conversation I am conscious of how I wish I were somewhere else & I could press the "disappear" button & poof! I'd be gone -

And furthermore, if..... (Poof!)

I have that problem after a group event/family party when people are leaving; I'll say goodbye but they don't go and suddenly I'll realize they are still here, still saying "goodbye"/still talking, and I have not been paying attention

[Poppy Princess]

We get it, you're antisocial.

[Jolisse]

I don't trust people and it's difficult for me to make friends. I have many people whom I'm friendly with, but once I really get to know them I don't want them as friends.

[IndieVisible]

Originally Posted by Perna

I have that problem after a group event/family party when people are leaving; I'll say goodbye but they don't go and suddenly I'll realize they are still here, still saying "goodbye"/still talking, and I have not been paying attention

Oh God how I hate long goodbyes! My wife is really bad at that too. First it begins the goodbyes at the door. Then it it goes out to the outside by the porch, then it moves to the car. I'm thinking why are they still talking about stupid little stuff, this is not goodbye we will never see you again, it's just goodbye go home now! Then I ask my wife to explain this ridiculous ritual and she just says that's why I don't have any friends.

[Gavinandnikki]

I enjoy my alone time, time with husband and daughter. I work full time. I have no desire for friends outside of work. None. My favorite person to be with is myself. It's not that I find their lives boring or pathetic, there is just not enough time for me to want to seek outside persons for fun.

Also, I do feel, to some extent, that I have to put on my happy face when socializing. Too much work for me!!! I'd rather chill at home.

Originally Posted by IndieVisible

I hope this is the best section to post this, I considered the relationship section, but I don't seek help or support for this issue. I just want to know how common it is. How many of you here don't have any friends or long term friends. Work associates do not count unless you see them out of work too. AND ACTUALLY PREFER IT THAT WAY?

I find people bore me quickly and I really don't care what they have to say or what's going on in their lives, nor would I ever share my personal experiences with them. It's not a social phobia or any thing like that. I'm not afraid or stressed out, just honestly don't really care for any people. Oh sure I can fake it pretty good if I have to, smile and pretend I care about their pathetic lives, meanwhile looking at my watch to see how much longer I have to put up with this meaningless small talk.

Any one else like this? Or can relate? Or am I a total freak?

I knew there was a reason I could relate to you....I consider myself a "misanthrope" actually..i feel the same way about people too