First off i had issues with my brother, then my dad keeps drinking and having anger problems (to say the least). i have problems with my job, which i am in the middle of. and now this morning, another instance has arisen...

I had a phonecall from my sisters friend, kate, to say that my sis and her fiancee have had an arguement which turned into an fight, my sister hit Dave (her fiancee) with a cat scratching post and has fractured a bone in his foot, so hes off to the hospital now to have x-rays etc. and after she hit dave with scratching post, she continued hitting him, along with hitting his frined, Andy, and then Dave hit her back. then he kicked her out of his house and now she has nowhere to go. so my dad has now left to go pick her up and bring her back here. she has such a nasty violent streak (must have inherited it from my dad) and she has tried to stab my dad in the past.

she does drugs too. she has been spotted by numerous people to be hanging around with drug dealers and dealing etc. so drugs make her more volatile!!

her and my dad do not get on, they constantly argue and i have seen so many fights between them. when she is here there is always shouting from her and there is always an atmosphere. i just hope she doesnt move back here. however nasty that may sound, i dont want her back here, i really dont.

my brothers found a place and is moving out int he next couple of days. that comes after i confronted him about the sexual abuse and told him i want him out a couple of months back. so hes going.

my dad is still drinking, and is still doing it secretly.

but now its my sister who is causing uproar!! when is it going to end, all this trouble. there is never a dull moment with my family and i always wonder what will happen next!

i know that my dad and sister argue alot, and if she is still in a violent mood today when he picks her up (hes on his way to pick her up now) they will end up having a physical fight again. so god only knows what will happen today...time will tell...

im glad i have PC to turn to when this family is in turmoil. its just one thing after another, after another!

no wonder it takes me so much hard work to stay strong and positive, i wish i knew how i do it, but somehow i do. just.

i will keep you updated as the day progresses. im just dreading what will happen. but i have to stick around to make sure they dont fight. my brothe rhas done the usual thing, and has shot off out somewhere before they get home, so once again im left to sort it out. im only 19, i shouldnt have to be doing this at my age!! hopefully it wont get to that stage but ive seen it before and im sure i will see it again!

speak soon

simon

[Bethsway]

Simon...that is just it...don't stick around...if your father and sister fight you can't do anything about it...It is best you leave and think of yourself now...I still recommend you go to alanon for children of alcoholics...It will also help you cope with your sister...please go!!

Simon, I'm so sorry your family is in such turmoil. I grew up with that kind of chaos & violence. I separated myself from my family when I was about 20. I haven't seen one brother (the violent drug-user one) in over 30 years! He was causing me too much pain & I was afraid of him. He was violent with his wife & we (my husband & 2 kids) took her in for awhile, but she went back to him. After that, I just decided that it was not good for my kids to witness all this stuff & it was detrimental to my (shaky at best) mental health. Is there any way you can get away from all this violence & drama?--Suzy

[Fuzzybear]

[kimthecatlover]

Simon, when I read your posts, I can't help but remember what my family was like..and honestly, now I'm glad I was given a second chance by being taken from them at the age of twelve. Is there an Al-Anon, Codependents Anonymous, or Adult Children of Alcoholics group near you? From personal experience I know what it is to have a parent who is an alcoholic and in denial. I had to take care of my mom for a year and miss school because I was a 'special-needs' student and she did not advocate for me to be admitted as such in the school system where I lived...And I was only eight years old. Both your dad and sister are in denial of their problems and I wonder whether it's dragging you down....Please know I am thinking of you and I hope for your sake you can find the strength to deal with it all.

I'd love to move out, but right now i cant. i cant afford it, and what with changing every aspect of my life at the moment, i have to try one thing at a time. it seems i have hit a stage in my life where i have decided to change so much of my life and i am doing it, but i have to do one thing (or 2) at a time, so once i get my job sorted, and my car test passed, i will move out. it shouldnt be much longer. but in the mean time, i have learnt how to detatch myself from my family and focus on my own problems. ive had to learn fast and i believe im there now. i do get down somedays, but thats normally because im low anyway and my family just trigger it.

my sister is now sleeping on our couch for a week until she gets paid and is able to move out. its not too bad i suppose...there havent been any arguements yet, and i emphasise the word "YET"!!

thank you for your support. i havent yet looked up Al-Anon or any of the others. i suppose its because i feel i dont need them, as long as i am able to come here and talk about whats upsetting me, i find it does help so much. i already know how to deal with my dad. im not being arrogant, or stubborn etc, i just feel i dont need to go there. i feel i have the situation - on my behalf - under control. but i might be wrong.

thank you all for caring, i appreciate it, you all know that.

speak soon

simon

[Perna]

(((Simon)))

Wish you had more help. My mentor use to say to me, "It will be good for you in later life" :-) when I had to do something that was hard or that I didn't want to. I bet all this concentrating on your own needs/problems with all the other stuff going on around you will pay off for you. It sounds like you're doing a great job with/for yourself.

[JustAPixie]

[lavendersteph]

i hope things get better luvs and hugs

[ster]

When my parents used to fight which was everyday. I would leave come back later. The only way I could deal with it was to disasoceate from them

[Bethsway]

I am glad things are going smoothly so far...hope they continue...and it is good to know you are pretty sure you can handle it..if not we are always here for you!!!!

[goldmaiden]

Awwww *hug*

Thanks guys. still thinking about you all, and im hoping to be back soon. am feeling miles better about things, and i feel more attached to my true self recently so hopefully things will get back to how they should be...me being able to be among these forums amongst friends who care about me and who i care for.

love ya'll

simon