[SeekerOfLife]

Responding or Reacting? Recently in my personal quest for better emotions I came across a reference to Responding or Reacting. Immediately, it grabbed my attention. This morning I googled it, and was gripped by the importance of how I respond/react to stresses in my life.
Has anyone else studied this subject? Sorry if I have not worded the above better. This is a brand new idea for me. I wonder if I can find some generic responses that would fit a variety of situations. I have a tendency for my brain to fly away when I feel stressed, have anxiety, or panic. When I get upset, I just cannot think, and my mind goes completely blank.

[archipelago]

I just went over this distinction in a Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction class. We learned that most of us get used to just reacting, which tends to be unconscious or automatic and can produce stress. Whereas responding is more measured and thoughtful, using the power of an observer position that can see the larger picture and can take a breath before "reacting." We learned that not only do we do this with things and others, but we also carry it on inside ourselves, reacting to thoughts and feelings, instead of responding. That made a lot of people in the class really change the way they were and improve their lives tremendously. It's an important distinction. Hard to describe though. But you know it when you see it or do it.

[healingme4me]

My impression is that reactions can stem from an overamplified emotion, stressor Carries past memories. Responding is present based.
This is based on my own self work in dealing with anger, learning to express it appropriately. Not that I'd been overly angry, but I'd repress anger inward, and snap, in a snarky way, inappropriately.

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[saw_q]

well seekersinking,
allow me to add some more. maybe it will be useful to you. Actually you got to react and respond with your stress. They called it stress management. Stress happen sometimes in our life. the reason its happen, might be alot. But let we concentrate on stress management. Our emotion must be managed all the time. otherwise our mind and soul will be mess up. Calm your self every time stress happen. maybe eat chocolate, if you have cigaret smoking to ease the stress( this an example only, not a total suggestion he he ). If you stress with person or people, find other place to relax. so take over your emotion not emotion take over you. That's just what i can suggested. Anybody can add some more cause stress management is a big topic too. ok that's all. Thanks.Tq.

saw_q

[MoxieDoxie]

Unfiltered. That is what people call it. Just opening your mouth and responding immediately with what you feel or how you see it with no thought. I was unfiltered and aggressive instead of thoughtful and assertive. This is what I worked on with T. You have to step away from your feelings first and do not respond immediately. Damn T.......I immediately think in my head would my response make T proud?

[Fuzzybear]

[ECHOES]

Originally Posted by archipelago

I just went over this distinction in a Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction class. We learned that most of us get used to just reacting, which tends to be unconscious or automatic and can produce stress. Whereas responding is more measured and thoughtful, using the power of an observer position that can see the larger picture and can take a breath before "reacting." We learned that not only do we do this with things and others, but we also carry it on inside ourselves, reacting to thoughts and feelings, instead of responding. That made a lot of people in the class really change the way they were and improve their lives tremendously. It's an important distinction. Hard to describe though. But you know it when you see it or do it.

I think the difference between reacting and responding is very important and a great idea for therapy, or to think about and learn more about in any way.

Putting into action a way of responding rather than reacting, takes practice and involves sitting with the emotions until they lessen in intensity. It also involves a gift to yourself, of giving yourself space and time around your thoughts before deciding to act on the first thought that arises.

It's also a great learning tool, studying this, because it helps point to what kinds of things create specific emotional responses and why.

Your world can be opened up by just deciding that a reaction isn't needed, that a person can say, hmmmm I will have to think about that and get back to you. And then take the time you need until you feel comfortable with your response.

I'm happy for you that you discovered this wonderful idea to think about!