[scatter_scz]

I see all these descriptions and some of them fit while others don't. As for me, I am never certain if I'd go through with certain things but I get pretty close (just don't have the balls). Does that count?

Ultimately - only YOU know.

and if you are not sure - then I think you have to err on the side of caution.

Good luck and God bless.

[jesusplay]

if you aren't a danger to yourself or anyone around you, you're not having an emergency.

an emergency is an emergency.

with that seek outpatient care for non emergencies.

[scatter_scz]

Originally Posted by jesusplay

if you aren't a danger to yourself or anyone around you, you're not having an emergency.

an emergency is an emergency.

with that seek outpatient care for non emergencies.

Yeah but how would you know. I think I wouldn't go through with hurting other people but that sure as hell didn't stop me from preparing for it.

The point of the question is, how do you know if you are a danger or not.

[Hellion]

I am not exactly sure it kind of depends on the circumstances. However when I am in question about whether or not I will harm myself I usually end up going to the ER and end up in a psych unit. But sometimes its hard to tell whether I have actual intentions or just thoughts of harming myself.

So I suppose from my perspective if you feel you are a danger to yourself or others, go to the hosptial....if you just need someone to talk to then I'd go for therapy and other non-invasive forms of help. The psych ward is really only useful if you're in a really bad place mentally and need to get more stabalized....otherwise I can't see it being much use.

[too SHy]

if youwant to go to the looney bin, yes say youry suicidal

[scatter_scz]

Originally Posted by too SHy

if youwant to go to the looney bin, yes say youry suicidal

I'm not really suicidal, more like homicidal and then suicidal.

I don't want to go to the loony bin so I never really say anything but like, I am kind of working on the plan I came up with so I fear I might actually do something. But then again, I haven't had the balls to even off myself so I doubt I'd actually do anything with the stuff I collect, you know what I mean?

Also, atm, it is not an emergency because I am stupid and bought the wrong thing. I guess it would be different when the correct item arrives.

If you have a plan to hurt someone, you need to talk to a professional ASAP.

If you cant talk to a pdoc, a health line or support line will have the best information for you, I am unsure of what numbers to supply to you but hopefully someone else can.

If you have a time, date, and plan of action to hurt someone or yourself you need to get help.

[Canyon]

I think if you are just waiting for the correct thing, then you need to go to the ER before that thing arrives.

[scatter_scz]

Originally Posted by Canyon

I think if you are just waiting for the correct thing, then you need to go to the ER before that thing arrives.

I'm not certain what I'd do with it. I feel like I wouldn't really have the "courage" to go through with it. I keep thinking that if I do seek help, I'd just be lying to get attention because I don't have the guts to do it anyway. But then I fear that maybe I would just to prove that I can to myself. It'll take another two weeks though. I was going to start up last weekend but realized that I had the wrong thing... Maybe I bought the wrong thing on purpose?... I just don't know....

[Canyon]

I just want to say that it is a little concerning that you have thought of doing something that would require something special with a 2 week wait time on it to be delivered.

Sounds like you have already at least started to formulate a plan and began to work towards those means.

[Bark]

I was feeling pretty suicidal several weeks ago. Day in, day out. Part of me "knew" I wouldn't take my own life, but I reached the point where I packed up my stuff, went to the ER, and was admitted for almost two weeks.

I didn't have a set plan, just ideas. And I told them why I wouldn't kill myself. They didn't turn me away.

My personal opinion is to go to the ER and be honest. You will probably be admitted. Hopefully it would help. At the very least you wouldn't have to worry about killing people. You might want to research hospitals in your area, see which ones are okay and which ones to avoid.

When it comes down to what you "think" you would or would not do, that is a dangerous place to be. Sometimes we do things we never thought we would.

Please go to the ER or at least speak to a mental health professional.

[scatter_scz]

Originally Posted by Bark

I was feeling pretty suicidal several weeks ago. Day in, day out. Part of me "knew" I wouldn't take my own life, but I reached the point where I packed up my stuff, went to the ER, and was admitted for almost two weeks.

I didn't have a set plan, just ideas. And I told them why I wouldn't kill myself. They didn't turn me away.

My personal opinion is to go to the ER and be honest. You will probably be admitted. Hopefully it would help. At the very least you wouldn't have to worry about killing people. You might want to research hospitals in your area, see which ones are okay and which ones to avoid.

When it comes down to what you "think" you would or would not do, that is a dangerous place to be. Sometimes we do things we never thought we would.

Please go to the ER or at least speak to a mental health professional.

Thank you. I did tell a psychiatrist (in a hospital setting) about it but I omitted any implication of dwelling on the matter so nothing really resulted from it except for a psychologist appointment in a few weeks.
Maybe they think I am not actually serious about it. Hopefully they are right.

[Canyon]

I think you really need to be totally honest with them. Maybe call a hotline or go back and lay it all out?

[Bark]

Originally Posted by scatter_scz

Thank you. I did tell a psychiatrist (in a hospital setting) about it but I omitted any implication of dwelling on the matter so nothing really resulted from it except for a psychologist appointment in a few weeks.
Maybe they think I am not actually serious about it. Hopefully they are right.

One thing they always ask (in my experience ) when you mention suicidal ideation is whether you have a plan. I assume it would be the same for homicidal ideation. Were you asked that?

A few weeks? That's too long. Sounds like the doctor wasn't concerned at all.

I am, though. :/

[scatter_scz]

Originally Posted by Bark

One thing they always ask (in my experience ) when you mention suicidal ideation is whether you have a plan. I assume it would be the same for homicidal ideation. Were you asked that?

A few weeks? That's too long. Sounds like the doctor wasn't concerned at all.

I am, though. :/

Yeah, they did ask. I just kind of brushed it off as a fleeting thought so that was that. Fleeting homicidal thoughts wouldn't really be a cause of concern.
I tend to deny things when around people who could have "authority" over me. *sigh* I even denied being concerned when I was actually really scared. Stupid. So stupid.
It's like, if I say something, the "need" to go through with it would increase just to prove that I haven't been lying. I think the preoccupation with perception of lie is a bit weird.
And, 2.5 weeks to be precise.

[Bark]

Originally Posted by scatter_scz

Yeah, they did ask. I just kind of brushed it off as a fleeting thought so that was that. Fleeting homicidal thoughts wouldn't really be a cause of concern.
I tend to deny things when around people who could have "authority" over me. *sigh* I even denied being concerned when I was actually really scared. Stupid. So stupid.
It's like, if I say something, the "need" to go through with it would increase just to prove that I haven't been lying. I think the preoccupation with perception of lie is a bit weird.
And, 2.5 weeks to be precise.

How about typing up what you've told us and showing that to a doctor? Maybe that would be easier. Let the paper do the talking.

Still a long time. I understand now why you didn't get a more immediate appointment.

[reesecups]

Originally Posted by scatter_scz

Yeah but how would you know. I think I wouldn't go through with hurting other people but that sure as hell didn't stop me from preparing for it.

The point of the question is, how do you know if you are a danger or not.

Preparing for it should be seen as a serious issue, even if consciously, you're saying I won't do it. I suggest you find someone to talk to. Hopefully you have a T?

[eskielover]

The problem is that you are setting things up & getting the things that you need to accomplish the homicide.......that in law is premeditated & seriously a different level of a crime than something in self defense or just something that happens in the heat of emotion.

The problem is that since you are going ahead with the plans & getting the things that are needed.....crossing the line into actually acting on your thoughts is a lot closer than if you hadn't already put your plans into action.......the fact that you have gone that far is a serious issue.

Has this person who you are feeling homicidal toward done something previously to hurt you or someone you are angry about or has hurt someone else that has caused you to get to this point in your homicidal feelings? Sometimes there are some people who we really wish we could get out of our life & make the world free from their horribleness.....we really wish they were dead!!!!.......but when we go beyond that & actually create a plan (step 1).....then purchase the things that are necessary to carry out that plan (step 2)....you can see how much closer it is to cross the line into taking any action.....THAT IS A DANGEROUS PLACE TO BE.

You seriously need to talk to a T about what emotions you are experiencing & why this person has caused you to feel this way....(I'm assuming that it is a specific person & not just some random person somewhere in general).

The thing is that if it is a specific person you are having problems with.....there may have been something they have already done that maybe the law needs to get involved with against them rather than taking any action into your own hands....or if your own safety is a concern & you feel like you want to kill them before they do harm to you........there are so many issues that you really NEED to deal with.....& then you really need to focus on another way of dealing with them other than something so permanent & basically harmful to you when you end up in jail or dead yourself.

Remember, self-defense is reasonable.....but it's a lot better to be able to get the law involved in protecting you if possible than to take it into your own hands.

Truly hope that you have someone who you can discuss your emotions & the thought process you are going through that has brought you to this point. Sometimes having someone else helping you think of other better solutions can really be better for all involved.......I truly hope that you have a T that you can really talk this over with or even a really good friend (know that's a lot harder as they are usually more emotionally involved also).

Take the action to resolve & understand & get control of your emotions.....don't just leave it at the 'gee, I don't know if I could really do it point....because the mind when emotions are in control doesn't allow for logic to make the decisions & you can really end up being sorry for what you did because at that final point you wouldn't be thinking clearly or logically.

[thickntired]

Originally Posted by jesusplay

if you aren't a danger to yourself or anyone around you, you're not having an emergency.

an emergency is an emergency.

with that seek outpatient care for non emergencies.

I disagree because I think an emergency has broader connotations. I went into the hospital because I had been manic for several weeks. I was afraid I would relapse and break my sobriety. What needed to be stabilized was my medication. I was on prozac which was fueling my mania. But my point is that I don't want to feel I can only use a medical emergency if I want to hurt myself or others.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using Tapatalk

[scatter_scz]

Originally Posted by eskielover

The problem is that you are setting things up & getting the things that you need to accomplish the homicide.......that in law is premeditated & seriously a different level of a crime than something in self defense or just something that happens in the heat of emotion.

The problem is that since you are going ahead with the plans & getting the things that are needed.....crossing the line into actually acting on your thoughts is a lot closer than if you hadn't already put your plans into action.......the fact that you have gone that far is a serious issue.

Has this person who you are feeling homicidal toward done something previously to hurt you or someone you are angry about or has hurt someone else that has caused you to get to this point in your homicidal feelings? Sometimes there are some people who we really wish we could get out of our life & make the world free from their horribleness.....we really wish they were dead!!!!.......but when we go beyond that & actually create a plan (step 1).....then purchase the things that are necessary to carry out that plan (step 2)....you can see how much closer it is to cross the line into taking any action.....THAT IS A DANGEROUS PLACE TO BE.

You seriously need to talk to a T about what emotions you are experiencing & why this person has caused you to feel this way....(I'm assuming that it is a specific person & not just some random person somewhere in general).

The thing is that if it is a specific person you are having problems with.....there may have been something they have already done that maybe the law needs to get involved with against them rather than taking any action into your own hands....or if your own safety is a concern & you feel like you want to kill them before they do harm to you........there are so many issues that you really NEED to deal with.....& then you really need to focus on another way of dealing with them other than something so permanent & basically harmful to you when you end up in jail or dead yourself.

Remember, self-defense is reasonable.....but it's a lot better to be able to get the law involved in protecting you if possible than to take it into your own hands.

Truly hope that you have someone who you can discuss your emotions & the thought process you are going through that has brought you to this point. Sometimes having someone else helping you think of other better solutions can really be better for all involved.......I truly hope that you have a T that you can really talk this over with or even a really good friend (know that's a lot harder as they are usually more emotionally involved also).

Take the action to resolve & understand & get control of your emotions.....don't just leave it at the 'gee, I don't know if I could really do it point....because the mind when emotions are in control doesn't allow for logic to make the decisions & you can really end up being sorry for what you did because at that final point you wouldn't be thinking clearly or logically.

Thank you for such a thorough response. I don't think my intentions were due to malice. Instead, I'd been thinking that I'd be giving them a gift of sorts. It was just some distorted thinking where I thought that only I saw the beauty of dearth so it was my responsibility to share it with my parents before I embraced it for myself. Maybe that was a delusion of sorts. It started about 3 months ago and I think it's over now. I see the logic behind my thoughts but realize that they are fundamentally flawed.

I know I crossed a line there but I am not sure if I'll share that with anyone in real life. Perhaps I'd have to if the thoughts start creeping up again. At this point, however, I am no longer a danger to others.

Once again, thank you for taking the time. I really appreciate it.

[scatter_scz]

Originally Posted by thickntired

I disagree because I think an emergency has broader connotations. I went into the hospital because I had been manic for several weeks. I was afraid I would relapse and break my sobriety. What needed to be stabilized was my medication. I was on prozac which was fueling my mania. But my point is that I don't want to feel I can only use a medical emergency if I want to hurt myself or others.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using Tapatalk

Thank you. That makes me feel better about seeking help. For some drain, I keep thinking that I am misusing my resources. Lol.

[nottrustin]

I say if you are concerned enough to be asking the question and you have plans then you definitely need to be evaluated ASAP...tell them exactly what is going on and let it go from there.