[(JD)]

<font color=purple>Ok. I plan on quitting this game here.

I came because I needed this somehow... though it feels perverted to post.

I felt better in chat... though regretted everything I said, later.

I plan to quit because the chat room is off limits to me now. Why? Who knows. No one answers my queries. No one seems to care and blames it on those of us who can't get into the chat. So? Tell me how to fix it. No. Silence.

But it is only indicative of my life. There is no answer in life... so I plan to quit that too. The insurance company and the insurance ***** doctors think they have won. Nah, I plan to settle big time, and then leave the money to a charity. I will win twice that way.

SO. Here's your chance. Hit me with you best shot. Otherwise, I'm probably outta here.</font color=purple>

<font color=blue> Character is who you are when no one is looking </font color=blue>

[Audrey]

Hay, i can't get onto chat either. Believe me I care. I truely understand.

[SeptemberMorn]

Because you can't get into chat, you plan to quit life?? That's a might weak excuse... including your insurance. Don't know what to tell you about your insurance, but your County Mental Health facility can help you. Have you PMed the doc directly? ... or CAM ... or any of the moderators?? Have you noticed that you aren't the only one that can't get into chat?? Not even some of the moderators can get in! Puuleeeeez!

<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[(JD)]

PUleeeeeeze grow up.

I used big words, indicative, for one...

it is just another brick in the wall. Not that I can't get into chat, but that we are being ignored with our problems. So maybe we just think we are being heard on other issues that don't require an answer?

But then I didn't expect a REAL answer from you. I also didn't expect to ever respond to another of your posts. But, ya know what? If that's your best shot... you ain't so tough.

<font color=blue> Character is who you are when no one is looking </font color=blue>

[SeptemberMorn]

LOL I see you didn't miss your "Nasty Pill" this morning. Maybe you should try a "Nice Pill" along with some "Smarts Pills." ... or do you need someone to take you by the hand and lead you?



<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[Rapunzel]

Sky,

I really miss chatting with you. I wish whatever the problem is would be fixed. There seem to be a lot of people having trouble with it. I'd gladly trade my being able to get in for you if it would help, although I would not like missing out on being able to chat with you. I don't know what else to say other than I'm sure DocJohn will get to the bottom of it and fix it soon, so please hang around and give it a chance (this site as well as life).

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Wendy

<font color=orange>"They accused us of suppressing freedom of expression. This was a lie and we could not let them publish it." ... from the Director of Censorship...

</font color=orange>

[dexter]

Hello sky, I am very sorry that you feel this way. I know you have a lot of very severe troubles and that you have not been able to find much relief for them. I am glad that you at least gave this place a try as a source of hope and support, and maybe that you will reconsider leaving or at least try coming back again in the future.

>>we are being ignored with our problems. So maybe we just think we are being heard on other issues that don't require an answer?

It is my impression that that is not really the purpose of this place, as it fits in with our daily coping and treatment.

I think by "being heard" that means simply by other community members here. Although a doctor has set up this forum, he did so to offer a place to meet and share feelings and comments with others... not to review the posts and provide treatments or suggestions from a professional point of view. That role really needs to be filled by the private doctors that treat you. I know that you feel that your doctors have failed you. I feel very bad about that. But this is not a place to find alternative help but rather just a community for peer support. I don't believe that doctors are intended to be "listening in" to our conversations here.

As for chat it is very unfortunate that you have been unable to enter. But that is a technical issue that may be very hard to solve. I wish I knew more about the java/chat software so as to offer suggestions that may help. Bear in mind that people access this place using all ages, types, and means of computers... so it is not simply a matter of fixing it for you, but of trying to find a solution that works for everyone. I know you were able to get into chat before, and it was a "fix" that DocJohn implemented because other people couldn't get in, and unfortunately now a different group of people can't get in. If he were to focus just on fixing it for you then someone else would be mad because they suddenly could not get in. He has to find the time to figure out a more reliable solution, and that takes time, and running this community is not a full time job for him. I am sure he is working on it.

I don't believe that chat access is provided here as a "treatment option" presented by a doctor, so I feel badly that you feel let down. DocJohn's role here is simply to provide a community as reliably as he can. I know that it says "chat easily and safely" in the welcome message but I do believe he is referring to discussion within the forums which is the primary role of this website. It may be that the only way to make everyone happy would be to remove the chat feature entirely and revert back to strictly message threads as the sole communication medium here. The chat is just an additional option, unfortunately one that doesn't have all the "bugs" worked out of it yet.

I hope that you can find the relief and help that you are seeking. Good luck and please feel free to email me anytime. At the very least there is a lot of string theory left to be discovered and understood.

Best wishes Sky

{{{{{{{{SkyBdark}}}}}}}}

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>

[(JD)]

sneaking another nasty pill out of septembermorn's stash

[

[SeptemberMorn]

hahaha! Sorry! Fresh out! I'd give you a Nice pill if I thought you'd use it. LOL

<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[Zenobia]

Sky,
Just wanted you to know that I can't get into chat either. I was able too at one time and for some reason my computer has decided that it doesn't want to do it any more. I don't know the answer why. I don't usually go to chat anyway because of a previous addictive reaction and found that it was a blessing to have that temptation removed so didn't pursue it to figure out why it wasn't working. There is a moderator who is currently working to find the problem and the best way to help people get it fixed. Give it a few days and hopefully the answer will be found.

I am rather uncomfortable with some of the responses to your posts. I can't say much due to the fact that I rarely come to the "general" forum and therefore do not know the history behind all these responses and your post to begin with. There seems to be some nastiness here that needs to stop on all sides. It is not conducive to the supportive goals of this forum. I don't know where it all began so I can't give any recommendations on how it should end. I just would like to offer you a place to go to talk about it. Please feel free to PM me if you would like a neutral sounding board. I am going out of town for a couple of days so be patient with the response time but I will be back.
Carrie

<font color=green>But the implicit and usually unconscious bargain we make with ourselves is that, yes, we want to be healed, we want to be made whole, we're willing to go some distance, but we're not willing to question the fundamental assumptions upon which our way of life has been built, both personally and societally.--Bill Plotkin, Soulcraft

[FearsomeAnna]

You know what? I agree with Tomi 100%.

Sky, how long has it been since you've been injured - over 10 years? Yet you continue to let this kind of crap happen to you, don't do anything actually constructive about it, find fault with anyone who actually might reach out to you and then whine when you don't think you're getting enough attention.

It's time for you to get your backbone and grow the **** up. What happened to you sucks, but you know what? Too bad. You can't go back, you can't change the event, but you can certainly stop being such a bitter, snide and spiteful whiner about it.

The "woe is me" crap is getting old, especially when you are all talk, no action and a whole ton of complaining. Get over yourself already.

some of it's magic
some of it's tragic
but i had a good life all the way......
~jimmy buffett

[SeptemberMorn]

Zen, I want you to know that I respect you and have always liked you although I don't post to you much. However, I do take exception when someone has followed you correcting everything you post, especially when you see absolutely no movement on their part. Anna is right. How long can this person whine about their misfortune before they start to fix it; before they start doing what is best for them instead of building themselves up by putting others down??

The fact that she can't get into chat is NOT "indicative" of life in general, for Pete's sake!

Oh well... I didn't mean to go off on you. You aren't the problem. Sorry about that.

<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[bptoo]

OK folks, enough is enough. If you want to take anymore pot shots, do it in a PM, an email, wherever, but let's keep it off the board. Personally, I hope you can all work it out and get along, but that's me. I like peace, I got abused enough as a child. But that's not your problem. What you put on this board is. Enough.

Greg

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{{Greg}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I'm sorry, Hun, but people need to hear the truth from time to time, ya know? I know it's contrary to your sweet, peaceful nature and I'm sorry this has bothered you.

::: taping my mouth shut and getting outta here :::

<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[(JD)]

You are right bp. Enough is enough.

I was injured 17 years ago, which melted a career of corporate psychologist/counter terrorism. At the beginning I couldn't walk nor talk for 8-9 months. I went to physical therapy 7 days a week, often 2x a day.

It took the ins co. 2 years to even authorize my jaw surgery (the lower jaw was off on both tmjs) and another year to prepare for it since they refused a pain clinic for me. After two surgeries, the ins co finally admited that my back had been injured, and reported on the initial accident report. (Which, by the way, they never filed with the State as required, I had done it.)

I also have never had a hearing before a judge, to make the ins co do what they are required by law. 17 years. One is entitled to the first hearing within 6 months of being totally permanently disabled.

I had no medications to help me for the first 8 years. I have chronic pain.

I still go to physical therapy 3x a week and a pain/stress management specialist 3x week. In between those, I add my primary care doctor, my oral surgeon, my orthodontist (I have to wear a jaw splint -) a neuro opthalmologist (for my vision checks to catch any attachments to the retinas that can cause blindness) optometrist, and gee, who else? I have seen neuros and recently had MS ruled out.

I currently have no way for help at home, and my service dog is 12 years old and going deaf and blind. The latest neuro has threatened to pull my driver's license because he thinks I'm addicted to the pain med. He doesn't even know me... but I went off the meds anyway. Pain won't kill me, just incapacitates me... And losing my license? I don't drive on days I can't. i have no one to assist or drive me, so there goes the visits to the help I need.

Also along those lines, I eat one meal a day. If I am able. I go to a close restaurant, eat half a meal and take the other half home for supper. I am unable to cook and clean. This is the best I can do. It has to be good enough. Making decisions and using the phone is "choreful."

I do have myelopathy. It is one scarring/lesion on the spinal cord where the sheathing is gone... causing the same symptoms of MS...

The injury also caused hearing loss, sense of taste and smell loss, and because of the jaw/eating problems my current iron count is 7.4.

All of this is hard work. To accuse me of doing nothing is shallow. I came here too didn't I?

But you are right, enough is enough. No one else can live with me, my pain. It IS my PTSD, depression and aloneness. Having a problem and being told to fix it myself is my life.

Thanks, but no thanks. The only way to connect with the nice ppl here was in chat. In post I opened myself up to all the snerts.... I have taken the hits as best I could for months. Once in a while I felt the need to respond.

I didn't realize that I was whining constantly. Most of my posts are in PTSD and depression forums...

Thanks for the memories guys. You can pick which ones you gave me.

<font color=blue> Character is who you are when no one is looking </font color=blue>

[SeptemberMorn]

That was a tough break you took, Sky... but look at Christopher Reeves. Need I say more?

<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[(JD)]

Maybe... consider Reeves without any body to help... doing it all for himself? I am constantly reminded of how no man is an island, you need ppl to live in this world etc etc.

And I end up with ppl like you.

<font color=blue> Character is who you are when no one is looking </font color=blue>