[Ganymede00]

I feel dumb for even posting this but here goes nothing. Since I haven't been able to find a therapist that I've clicked with, I've been managing whatever symptoms I have on my own. I've done a bit of self care here and there (and it has helped a bit) but the one thing I have such trouble with is starting and keeping a diary. I know it would help tremendously to just write down what I'm feeling but I don't know, I just feel foolish. I fear that, as an adult, the act of keeping a diary is immature and self indulgent. I know that's not true but I have some long standing issues (guilt, embarrassment) with expressing how I feel. How can I stop thinking and feeling this way? Are there any adults out there that keep a diary and if so, does it help?

If anyone has any advice or words of wisdom, I would greatly appreciate it.

[dharana]

Ganymede00, i feel it is good to put a diary for healthy people. in my case, i also used to put diary and express my feeling into it, but i became more obsessed and paranoid. so i feel it is not the good idea. if u r not paranoid i will suggest u to continue on it.

[waiting4]

Originally Posted by Ganymede00

I feel dumb for even posting this but here goes nothing. Since I haven't been able to find a therapist that I've clicked with, I've been managing whatever symptoms I have on my own. I've done a bit of self care here and there (and it has helped a bit) but the one thing I have such trouble with is starting and keeping a diary. I know it would help tremendously to just write down what I'm feeling but I don't know, I just feel foolish. I fear that, as an adult, the act of keeping a diary is immature and self indulgent. I know that's not true but I have some long standing issues (guilt, embarrassment) with expressing how I feel. How can I stop thinking and feeling this way? Are there any adults out there that keep a diary and if so, does it help?

If anyone has any advice or words of wisdom, I would greatly appreciate it.

Keeping a 'diary' does make one feel if not foolish, than immature. It's all wrapped up in the book some of us got as kids with a flimsy lock and key---my mother gave me one every year for xmas for years. I never used them.

For adults, a diary is more commonly called a journal....but of course, that's just a name. Seems easier for me to write in a 'journal'....

One way that might help, is instead of the whole 'dear diary' or the 'what I'm feeling now'.....is to 'address' it to a person, even an imaginary person. Treat it like a letter (remember snail mail?). It seems less silly because you're simply updating a friend (a close friend) with your thoughts etc.

And you are, actually. That friend is you.

Take care.

[AllyIsHopeful]

It's not foolish at all! Give it a try...I don't think there is an age limit to self-exploration and self-soothing. I am terrible at keeping up with it, but I go through phases of journaling. It helps to look back and see any improvements I have made, situations that have gotten better, mood changes, behavioral/situational patterns, etc.

Originally Posted by waiting4

One way that might help, is instead of the whole 'dear diary' or the 'what I'm feeling now'.....is to 'address' it to a person, even an imaginary person. Treat it like a letter (remember snail mail?). It seems less silly because you're simply updating a friend (a close friend) with your thoughts etc.

That's a really good suggestion The person it could be written to could be an imaginary therapist, which then when you find one you click with, you could share the journal with them since that's who you were writing it for all along.

Make sure it's secure so no one will find it 'accidentally' though. At the end of last year I lent my spare laptop to someone, and only after I'd given it to them did I remember I had a bunch of very private thoughts I'd jotted down about my past. It sent me into a panic attack to think someone may be reading what I had never intended anyone to read. I got the laptop back that day, before they'd even turned it on yet. Even still, I felt totally violated and exposed at the thought someone could have read them. Definitely try to avoid that yourself!

[splitimage]

I keep a journal and I write in it a lot, typically first thing in the morning, and at night. I've been writing in it since 2002 and it's now over 1,800 pages. Sometimes I just write what I'm up to, to help me keep track. Sometimes I write how new meds are affecting me, and sometimes I work out emotional stuff that's bothering me or confusing me - somehow it helps to see it in writing.

This journal is on line. Sometimes I share what I've written with my T, other times I don't.

I also carry around a really nice notebook that I bought, that I use to write about things that come up to me related to therapy, that I want to share with my T. I find it helpful to always have on hand.

I'd say decide if you're more comfortable typing on your keyboard or handwriting in a note book. If you prefer handwriting, splurge and buy a really nice notebook, with nice paper.

There's nothing silly at all about keeping a journal.

splitimage

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by Ganymede00

I feel dumb for even posting this but here goes nothing. Since I haven't been able to find a therapist that I've clicked with, I've been managing whatever symptoms I have on my own. I've done a bit of self care here and there (and it has helped a bit) but the one thing I have such trouble with is starting and keeping a diary. I know it would help tremendously to just write down what I'm feeling but I don't know, I just feel foolish. I fear that, as an adult, the act of keeping a diary is immature and self indulgent. I know that's not true but I have some long standing issues (guilt, embarrassment) with expressing how I feel. How can I stop thinking and feeling this way? Are there any adults out there that keep a diary and if so, does it help?

If anyone has any advice or words of wisdom, I would greatly appreciate it.

The greatest world leaders have and do, use journals. It's not childish,whatsoever. Royal families, write in journals.

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Healing wrote my sentiments exactly. Journals are how writers learn to write. I write when I am in distress to get out my thoughts. I also draw in one. There is nothing immature about it.

http://blog.paperblanks.com/tag/famous-diary-entries/

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[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Ganymede00

I feel dumb for even posting this but here goes nothing. Since I haven't been able to find a therapist that I've clicked with, I've been managing whatever symptoms I have on my own. I've done a bit of self care here and there (and it has helped a bit) but the one thing I have such trouble with is starting and keeping a diary. I know it would help tremendously to just write down what I'm feeling but I don't know, I just feel foolish. I fear that, as an adult, the act of keeping a diary is immature and self indulgent. I know that's not true but I have some long standing issues (guilt, embarrassment) with expressing how I feel. How can I stop thinking and feeling this way? Are there any adults out there that keep a diary and if so, does it help?

If anyone has any advice or words of wisdom, I would greatly appreciate it.

Im sorry but we cant tell you how to stop feeling...how a person feels is not something others can say how to do, when to do it and such. and I know it doesnt feel good when something we do is making us feel a strong emotions. but having a thinking mind and emotions is what separates the human species from a majority of the species on earth. only the person having the feelings can do anything about those feelings.

I can tell you how I developed the habit and maintained the habit of a daily in your word diary, my word journal my wifes word blogging and my niece's word for it tweeting.

one example is a few years back my treatment providers and I were trying to figure out where/what my symptoms were...I had so many symptoms that are shared by many mental and physical health problems we couldnt just say this is this and heres what to do about it. it was a very lengthy diagnostic process of tests, treatments ruling this in ruling that out kind of process. my treatment providers needed to hear from me what my symptoms were, when they get activiated, what works and what doesnt work. my doctor asked me to keep a list of any symptoms, medication side effects/problems and whether something helps or not as we go along. that list started out with one word description.....pain, numbness, stiffness, chills,.....then as my doctor asked me questions I added those in...what kind of pain is it....

then the list expanded to
a stabbing pain
a hot needle like pain.

as I got more confident on my abilities to document my symptoms it just naturally expanded to using whole sentences ...

last night I had a quick stabbing pain, it was like someone had jabbed thousands of needles in my, prickly, numb and .....

keeping a journal on my children also evolved. At my baby shower I received a baby book. in baby books they have very small spaces to document one or two word phrases of your childrens milestones...birth weight, height, length, first tooth, first crawl, first standing, first walking, favorite foods, toys...

that was well and good for a starting point but I soon found just putting the date and age of my children when they reached these milestones was not enough for me. So I used a computer writing program similar to microsoft office to create my own version of a baby book for my children, with plenty of room to add photos, descriptions, details,....that baby book turned into a baby book with 200 pages and as I printed out the pages I put them in a binder. my children cant read yet but they love seeing the picture of the day their two mommies were in the delivery room and the picture when their two mommies brought them home. and I love hearing their words baby (pointing to the picture) me (pointing to their self.) and then read to them what I wrote about the day they were born.

journaling/ blogging/tweeting/texting (or in your words writing in a diary) is something that only you control, the best way to maintain it is to set one up in your own style based on what you want that journal/blog/tweeting/texting/diary to be like. some people go all fancy and create a book style like I did for my children, list style like I did for my treatment providers or essay style like I do for myself on my computer writing program. some people buy special peens, markers in various colors to do their writing in others type with a typewriter or computer....

today there are many different avenues for someone who wants to journal/blog/text/tweet/ or on your words diary. you just need to find the way that works for you, based on your own life, what you want it to be and how you want it to be done.

[hvert]

I write regularly, probably about the kind of stuff that would go in a journal or diary, but I don't call it that.

I set up a bunch of templates that I can use in certain situations. Each template has a list of questions for me to answer. I use one template in the morning to reflect on what I accomplished the day before and to plan how I will spend the current day. Another template I use when I am procrastinating.

The structured approach has worked really well for me. It doesn't feel like writing free-form thoughts in a journal.

[Open Eyes]

Adults call it "keeping a journal", that isn't the same as a childhood teenybopper diary. Some people even call it "keeping memoirs" and there have been important people who actually did that.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Adults call it "keeping a journal", that isn't the same as a childhood teenybopper diary. Some people even call it "keeping memoirs" and there have been important people who actually did that.

sorry but I disagree ....heres why...

what is a teenybopper diary....a place where teens are writing down what they did that day, their thoughts, secrets, who they like who they dont like, sometimes even when they notice their moods, or other health symptoms...

example of my teenybopper diary.....
dang it I hate that marysue she always has the best clothes and always acts like she's queen snot with that nose up in the air, I cant help it if I get the hand me downs from beth. just once I wish beth would rip out her clothes so I wouldnt have to wear them too. Hey I got a hundred on the geography test today, the only one that did so cool. my nick name may be whiz kid but at least its not snot rag like marysue. tomorrow I see caroline and Dr. beecher. I hope he takes me off my prozac that stuff makes me so tired. I have to remember to tell caroline about what the voices said today in gym class....

what is an adult journal....a place for adults to write down what they did that day, their thoughts,things they wouldnt tell anyone else, who they like who they dont like, sometimes even their moods, health symptoms.....

Example of my adult journal....wow am I glad today is over. one of these days Im going to just hall off and smack that B..... every single day she waits until we are at our busiest and then see you all later I have to do this or that now. just once I would like her to have to deal with even half of my schedule. but alas this isnt a perfect world. At least my meds are working again, it was getting quite frustrating to hear that psychotic voice. my wife and I will be going to see cuff me, fifty shades of grey cant wait to see it, supposed to be as funny as the V.... monologues. on monday we have a test in one of my classes, i hope I pass, its going to be a hit or miss since I havent had much time to study this past week...

my point is yes the two diaries have slight difference as in language/wording/ because of the writers age but whether its called a journal or diary, childs or adults...its still a place to write down ones thoughts, activities and anything else the person chooses to write down in what ever writing styles the person writing chooses.

[ifst5]

I think you need to try and let go of the associations personal writing has with childhood and approach it from a more adult perspective - you're not obliged to write in it everyday or address it to anyone. A date and a few lines can be all it takes to make the practice feel useful. At first it might be better to adopt a more formal approach, like using it to keep track of certain symptoms/moods. If you progress to more in depth writing but feel comfortable with it therapeutically, why stop? Some good suggestions from above posters, good luck.

I was thinking it was a tomato/tamato thing but it really isn't. However I don't think age or maturity has anything to do with it.

QUOTE:
"It’s a question I get asked all the time. “What’s the difference between a journal and a diary? A diary is a report of what happened during the day—where you ate, who you met, the details leading up to the kerfluffle in the office, and who took whose side. It’s a bit like a newspaper about you.

A journal is completely different. A journal is about examining your life. It’s a GPS system for your spirit. “I’ve made this mistake before. . . and I always make it when I rushed for time and feel panicky. But I feel panicky because I know I’m headed for the same mistake.” Journals lead to insight, growth, and sometimes, achieving a goal."

Anne Frank wrote in both diary and journal form. I don't think anybody can think of her as either a teenybopper or an adult. Really she was both as we all were

Another example: all those fitbits are really just automated diaries. I heard one guy interviewed who collected all his payments from forever and learn a lot from it about himself. His priorities, interests, earnings. That is a form of a diary. My "journals" are definitely a hybrid. I keep a diary that is really a diary at work. It is notes to remember things, meeting notes, names of people, phone numbers.

http://quinncreative.wordpress.com/2...he-difference/

If you do want to feel adult about it... If that helps... Get a moleskine. If you don't have that kind of cash Handbook (the brand) is really good too.



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[CheryCross]

I know what you mean about guilt expressing your emotions and difficulties. I struggle with this all the time, It can really stand in the way of getting what you want/need from life. I've started diaries and become extremely concerned someone will come across it and read it (this worry was reinforced when my mum read my diary when I was 15).

As for overcoming your shame at appearing self indulgent- do you have any ideas/theories at what might have lead to your issue with guilt? I found once I explored the cause, I realised that my feelings of shame at being 'selfish' were just the result of my parents own issues and that I have no need to feel guilty for expressing my needs- it's not self indulgent, It's necessary for your life to work for you. You don't need to work around other people all the time, you don't need to please other people before you please yourself.

If you'd like to chat about it message me, It's hard to find people who understand so I'd be more than happy to talk.

[CheryCross]

You're welcome x