There's NOTHING good about me

I'm really short,& small,& I look really young.Everyone thinks I'm 11 or 12. I am really fat. I have a horrible personality, horrible. I have ADHD, Autism, depression, other things & I think anxiety. I am really shy,& have hardly no friends. I need glasses. I can't make decisions. I can't lift things above 40ish pounds.I can't make friends, IRL, or on the internet-I'm on dog forums(dog forums,& chazhound)& no one seems to like, or even care about. I wish they did, because dogs are my passion.

I can't take charge, watch people, or tell them what to do.

I can't do anything right, ever.

Some of the things you describeabout yourself you can change if you really want to, sadly there are other things you are just stuck with for the rest of your life. That's the same for everyone whoever they are. I'm sure you are not a horrible person, you just feel horrible, most people feel like that from time to time. You have a lot of problems to deal with and it sounds as though you have low self esteem, and this makes it hard for you to relate to other people.

What is it about making friends that is difficult? Are you too anxious to talk to new people, do you automatically assume they won't like you, do you struggle to approach people that you've already spoken to in the past? I know, too may questions!! I struggle with friendships too, I find it really hard to explain why, because on the surface I'm friendly and outgoing and have some good social skills. I just don't seem to understand how friendships work, it is as though there is something missing in my brain.

There are lots of really nice people on PC, we all have our problems - big and small - and we all try to help each other as best as we can. You do have friends here and there is usually someone around who wants to talk about dogs. Dogs are my passion too and my best friend is my dog.

Don't worry about not being able to take charge, not everyone is a leader, in fact the world needs far more followers than leaders otherwise nothing would ever get done. All the leaders would be bossing each other about and falling out and starting wars and doing silly things like that. It is much better to be self-sufficient and I think that you need to build up your self-confidence.

Yeah, I've been there. Many good qualities are a matter of perspective, though.

A lot of people like saccharine sweetness, even from strangers with little to no knowledge of a situation, because it makes them feel good. It doesn't matter whether or not said stranger is in any position to speak on what a bright young girl they are for being able to write well wow so smart I can't believe it. I dislike it because it's ignoring real compliments and empathy in favor of low-effort, superficial praise.

A lot of people aren't interested in me because I don't want to bond in ways that are meaningful to them (feelings, sharing personal facts, "just because", etc). Other people love me for it because they're not expected to put on the usual song and dance, and I show interest in various odd or taboo topics instead of having a knee-jerk reaction and condemning them without having so much as read the Wikipedia article on it.

A big part of developing a personality I like and can use has been getting over the idea that I need to be a specific way. That there's one personality type that has value, and that value is dictated solely by widespread or superficial social acceptance.

By the way, even a lot of dog owners don't understand dogs very well. It takes patience to train them and perspective to understand how dogs (not people) see the world.

Have you ever considered volunteering at an animal shelter?

I'm scared to make friends, I think that they'll hate me.I struggle with so many social things. I have to deal with so mAny things, I just keep getting more things,& it's getting worse

I know this might sound a bit odd, but sometimes all the labels we get for our conditions are just that - labels. Really they are a tool to help the professionals and they don't have very much to do with the real person underneath.

By that I don't mean that you don't have problems, I just mean that every time the doc or therapist or whoever comes up with another condition to add to your list it doesn't necessarily mean it is something new or you're getting worse, it was probably there all along just they hadn't noticed it before.

Once someone says you have something then you will start noticing it more and more yourself, of course you will and of course that makes you feel so overwhelmed.

If you can, try to ask your doc or therapist, "So what are we going to do about that?" when they come up with something new to add to the mix. If you need your Mom to ask that question for you then that's ok.

There are lots of people in the world who feel insecure and less than perfect and who would be glad of a friend who is a bit different too. Like Yoda, I think volunteering at an animal shelter or somewhere like that would be a real help to your confidence

sounds like you have a lot of love / compassion within you.

Maybe your future entails being a nurse or maybe in some form of therapy. Maybe a therapist that REALLY understands her patients.

I'm sorry that you don't like yourself , I experienced it too. You say that you aren't able to make friends on internet, but I think that you surly have friends who care about you here. I care , and surly also many others. We are here for you if you want to chat, don't forget it.
But I can understand that you want also friends in real life. You could really volunteer for dogs, or find another activity that you like. If you meet people with a passion in common with you it could be easier to become friends.

One of my good friends is small and was young looking (she's in her 50s now; the young looking can't last forever :-) and an astronomer. She would go to judge science shows at high schools, etc. and the other judges would think she was a student!

Size and age, physical things, don't really matter so much overall because our looks (and outlooks) change with time. It doesn't really matter, if you are climbing a mountain, what you look like? You just climb your best and eventually you get there? Decide where you would like to go, what you would like to do or be like and work toward that. I'm 63 and still trying to get up my mountain. I look so much different from when I started, my husband does not recognize me in pictures of when I was your age.

Everyone has good within themselves. Please don't be so hard on yourself.

I only exist on the internet.

and I have zero friends.

Only my mother talks to me.