Parenting Magazine

Okay, so if this is my biggest problem at this exact second, i'm doing pretty well.

Parenting Magazine's tagline is "What matters to moms." As a recently divorced dad, I get my son 5 out of 7 nights per week.

Why is it that all parenting things are geared towards the mom? Is it that hard to say "what matters to parents?"

Anyway, for some reason that bugs me, more because it's pervasive. Look at sitcoms, all the dads are goofballs that need the mom around to make sure everything goes smoothly.

I do just fine with my son, and don't need his mom around to "smooth" things out on my 5 nights.

</rant over>

By an overwhelming margin, women are child caretakers.

I doubt Parenting Magazine purposely is trying to slight good dads. But I bet you anything 95% of their readership is moms. As with anything you're marketing, you gear the product to the audience.

You're right -- if this is your worst problem right now, you're in great shape! But maybe a letter to the editor or something would make you feel better.

Candy

I think you have a legitimate complaint. Have you thought about writing a polite letter to the magazine to let them know?

I actually just did write a letter to them. How sad is that???

Anyway, polite and everything, just asked for an explanation. I agree that their primary audience is women, but I don't think women would be offended if it said parents instead of women. Would they lose even a single subscriber?

I would subscribe if they changed it. Really not a big deal, and like I said, if that's my biggest problem, i'm doing okay. It's just silly.

I am really glad you are a great Pappa. All too often the pappa lets all of the details be covered by mamma. I think that in my experience there have been few pappas who plan doc appoints and play dates etc. I am sorry your feelings were hurt. My spouse is a very good Pappa so I do understand. Glad you wrote the letter. BTW, Are you close enough to sit my little one? Sounds like you would be great with her.

Hi Jeff,

I think it is great that you are a wonderful father and I'm glad that you did write them a letter. The industry needs to know how we feel on certain things and it's up to us to let them know. Good Job!!

Linda

Some people are still being sexist, they believe Dads should go to work while Moms shouldstay home clean, cook and take care of the kids. You are right it should sayparents. Maybe they were just saying about what matters to Moms not both parents.

Well, I don't know about being a great dad...That's my #1 priority, and really my only priority, but i'm just taking it a day at a time, figuring if I don't screw him up today, I did good.

I'm sure all it is is marketing to your audience, but it's just annoying to those of us who are divorced. Not even divorced, I guess to those of us that think the info might be useful, but are too damned stubborn to read it out of principle. I'll just buy tons more books instead of magazines.

Hi Again -- I agree with all those who have said -- Kudos for being a concerned and engaged dad -- good for you!

I worked in newspapers for almost 20 years and have been published in national magazines. I believe that editors are concerned with sexist language. It is possible that Parenting has determined that it has a female demographic, but language changes to be inclusive often involve only small adjustments. Your request increases the reader base, rather than narrowing it, so I'm hard-pressed to figure out what they would find objectionable about your request.

That's why I suggested that the letter be polite. A letter that is unreasonable is easily ignored, but one that makes a polite and reasonable request is likely to be taken seriously. Maybe it will even be published in the letters from readers section.

I hope it's not published...Yikes, hadn't even thought about that.

It was very polite, but still wouldn't want to see my name in print.

The reality is the majority of resulting divorce/single parent situations end up with the mothers...there's nothing that can alter peoples perspectives on that accept for fathers to speak out and say "hey! I should get recognized too!" But when you see something like that, that appears to be targeted towards mothers you just simply think of it generally....happens to the best of us.

Hi FNCrazy,
thanks so much for writing about this. this big time annoys me!! i can feel myself getting to the rage point inside all the time when things like this come up and really have to work to control it. i hate discrimination of every sort and it just seems so simple to me to look at things from a human perspective instead of a gender perspective! not everything should be gender neutral of course because some people need different things but for crying out loud! something like parenting is so easy to aim at both genders! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
well done for writing that letter and for keeping it polite! i really wish more people would do that. the only time i got up the courage to complain about something like that was when i had to repeatedly go to the male porn section on the top shelf of the newsagents to get my lesbian lifestyle magazine. i mean it has stuff in it about films, book reviews, current affairs, politics etc etc and its in the porn section?? hello! apart from that women are generally smaller than men and i have to bounce up and down in front of everyone to reach the stupid shelf. so i asked the manager to let the head office know a formal complaint had been made about it because he blamed it on them. managed to dissociate in the process so i didnt exactly feel it was me saying the words and it wont make any difference but at least i did my bit.
again well done to you for doing yours! and btw, by my definition you can now proudly call yourself a feminist. lol. modern feminism being about accepting and catering to the diversity in life etc. hehehe.
ok thats an end to the preaching! i promise!

Wow -- I would have been furious if that had happened to me, biiv! Congrats for keeping your cool and standing up for yourself. Honestly, how can people be so dumb? They need to join the Scaregrow in his trip to Oz to get some brains. Just my $.02.

A week later, they never responded, so I guess it's not too important to them.

I can't believe I was just called a feminist! LOL

Don't be discouraged because you didn't get a reply in a week. Magazines don't usually function with the speed of TV and radio. A 2-3 month lead time is typical.

You might not ever get any reply, depending on the magazine's volume of letters and practice for responding, but your letter could turn up in the Letters to the Ed. column nonetheless. If you get a response, it will likely be a form letter or note, and my best guess it would take a month or more. The important thing is that you expressed your thoughts.